A few months ago I was typing notes furiously into the tiny screen of my phone, my go-to source for dumping ideas when a pen and paper isn’t handy. I pushed “new note” as the ideas flooded out of my mind that morning; suddenly, as the program opened up a new screen, it stalled, paused for a long time, and then flashed and wiped clean.
I scrolled with my finger. That’s strange, I mused. Nothing was there. A flash of panic coursed through my mind.
What the…<
I closed the program and opened it again. Nope, All gone. I was standing out in the middle of the marina waterfront in northern San Francisco, in the middle of a long run that takes me out and back to the base of the Golden Gate bridge on one of my regular routes. I had stopped to catch an idea that had popped into my head, and I was standing, writing, by the side of the bay, tapping furiously into my phone. My note was lost. Worse than that–there didn’t seem to be any notes at all.
Oh, shit…
Strangely, however, I also felt an immediate sense of calm. A wave of nerves passed through me, and then continued on. I felt the angst and also let it go. In an instant, it was okay. My ideas–well over 200 notes, written to myself in various moments of inspiration–weren’t physically present, but it was okay. I had created these thoughts. I could create more. The notes in my digital archives were lost to time, but the act of taking the time to write them down in the first place was not lost. You can’t erase showing up every day, even if the product disappears. You can’t erase the knowledge in your head, the mind that’s changed because of the practice, the way you now think because of the work you’ve put in.
My dad says the same thing about jobs—even if you lose a job, or walk away from one, or if you get bought out—they can’t take what you’ve learned away from you. You get to keep what you’ve learned. The ways you’ve changed aren’t erased.
I never recovered my 200 notes. The good news is that in the time it took me to write them down, I’ve cultivated a practice of creating ideas, and I can hold onto the confidence that I’ll keep showing up and keep creating new ideas. Perhaps even revisit old ones, with more sophistication. Even if we lost everything–all of the physical things we use to string our lives together–we would still be fine.
More than fine.
Some other fun + miscellaneous updates:
- Friday, March 22 is World Water Day, so now’s a wonderful time to consider donating your birthday as a way to bring clean water to hundreds of people if you’re looking for a new project or adventure. I did it last year for my 29th birthday and had an absolute blast (and made fun of myself along the way, among other things…).
- I’m in love with Adventure Sandwich, a new project to back on kickstarter that builds an imaginative children’s world out of cardboard. The world needs more of this!
- While I’ve been a bit quieter-than-normal in blog world (I’m actually surprised that so many of people have noticed and reached out to say so; I thought I was doing such a good job of keeping up with posting! Honestly, however, I’m deeply thankful to you for being a part of my internet life and this community of ideas and for all the wonderful spirits and minds I’ve met through these various journeys) — While I’ve been laying low, whoever, in the interim I’ve been enjoying wonderful conversations via the growing Facebook community of wonderful minds + ideas. Come say hello!
Wow this was such an inspirational post, loved it!
Hi sarah
That’s so funny that you’ve just blogged on the subject of losing things because I have literally just lost all of the contacts in my I phone but feel strangely calm! Love your blog and i’m now proud to say I’m a fellow blogger myself, best wishes, Maria.
Makes me think of the quote from Benjamin Franklin: “If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”
One of the biggest benefits of the act of writing down ideas is the rewiring of your brain. Even if the ideas aren’t great, the mere act of forcing yourself to come up with them makes new connections in your brain that didn’t exist before.
Hi Sarah, your dad is a wise man. And you’re right, that event cannot take away your ability to create. Thanks to the event, you now have an extra story to tell, a lesson to teach. It made me ponder….
What app did you use on your phone for note-taking? I recommend something like Evernote which can autosync your notes to the cloud so you’ll never lose them.
I know of so many people who lost everything down here in New Orleans, during the storm. My friend had just moved into a beautiful, sparkling new apartment the week before the and lost every single thing – every photo, love letter, pillow case, painting.
But you know what she said? That everything important was already safe inside of her.
I love that.
Thanks for the reminder :-)
Lauren
Lauren — YES. Losing notes on a phone is nothing compared to the bigger losses. But the feeling of knowing that I’d be fine, and I was fine, was a relief. Great point of view.
Hi! I used the boring notepad app (the yellow one) until it went defunct. Now I use Evernote and it syncs much faster. Often I just email myself (I have a tag for notes and ideas that I store in a folder). Good tip!
YES. Great quote. The act of writing (and wiring) is just as important as the things that come out. Hands down, one of the best things I’ve done for myself the last few years is blog, write, edit, revise. All of that work “on myself” and my skills have transformed my abilities to think, understand, and communicated with others. Priceless.
Sarah, I’ve lost a compelling idea a few times over the years, most of the time because of not writing it down in the heat of a great discussion. Later, I could remember bits of the idea that nibbled around the edges, but not enough for it to take form out of the darkness. But because it was so compelling, I kept circling around it, probing, trying to put it together again. And in the end, I think the searching developed a more robust idea than the original might have ever been.