Ever have those voices in your head, while you’re working or trying something new?
That ego. The voice that tells you, whispers softly, cruelly inside of your mind: “You aren’t good enough. This wasn’t very good. Why did you bother? You’re not in shape enough. You should go to yoga class, but it’s not going to help.”
We all have variations of these voices, this chamber orchestra that tells us what we’ve done wrong and harps on our inadequacies. Our inclination is to yell back at it, right? “Shut up! You might think.” And” God, I need to get better at controlling these voices.” We work harder to perfect our minds, to erase those voices, to quash them.
But there’s another way to think about it… what’s the light side of our ego? What’s the benefit? [tweetable hashtag=”@skooloflife @sarahkpeck”]Just as our light sides all have a shadow; our shadows sides might also have some light.[/tweetable]
Perhaps we don’t need to be so cruel to our ego. Perhaps our ego did what it needed to do—it got us started. It got us in the door. It brought us somewhere, and we grew. That pesky little voice spurred something, and while it wasn’t always kind, it brought us here.
Last week I had the honor of digging into these questions and conversations with Srini Rao as a guest on his podcast, The Unmistakeable Creative. This is a different interview than many I’ve done before—and whether it was the nine hours of yoga I did in advance, the glass of wine I had, or the fact that it was late at night, somehow we started digging into stories in a way that I haven’t shared before.
We talk about swimming, fear, why being miserable might actually be okay, and what it takes to make things happen.
I’m delighted to share it with you.
Take a listen over on The Unmistakeable Creative podcast.
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for this wonderful and insightful article! Those inner voices are tricksters for sure and I agree with you, we all have them. The question is what to do?
I have been digging into the work of Brene Brown and she talks about the courage it takes to be vulnerable and “show up in the arena.” She said something so fascinating, much as you do, about the ego and the voice that tells us we aren’t good enough. She says to reserve your pesky ego a seat in the arena. You know when you put yourself out there, you are going to hear these negative voices, so invite them in saying “I know what you are going to say. I hear you. But I have to do this brave thing anyway.”
I thank you for your writing and your blog. I love your perspective that this writing world is about connection and not comparison. When I read your work, I felt a sigh of relief come over me. I can step into that comfortable, beautiful space where we can enjoy one another’s talents. True joy!
Allison
Thank you so much, Allison!
I love what Brene Brown teaches. She reminds us so much that those voices aren’t just going to disappear—but rather, we all have them, and giving them a place to sit and recognizing what they are is a good tool. Sometimes when I’m writing, I’ll hear the four or five voices of doubt crop up, and I’ll jokingly say: “Why don’t you all go have coffee in the dining room, and I’m going to sneak off and do some writing.” I try to leave them at least arm’s-distance away for a bit so I can sink into the new thing I’m trying to do.
Thanks for the compliments. It means a lot that you’re here—I’ve met so many beautiful, intelligent, wonderful people on this journey and I’m grateful for it!