Happy Holidays 2012!

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and all the love and joy I can send your way over the holidays. Thanks for being here, for building such an amazing community, and for teaching me so many things over the past year. I’ve learned so much from each of you who write in, comment, and tell me stories about how you’re changing and growing throughout your lives and explorations. I feel so lucky to be able to write (and that people listen!) and that I’ve spent a year doing this thing on the side that I love doing–telling stories and being here. It’s wonderful.

It’s been an incredible year, both at my job and in editing several of the websites and projects I’m involved in, and I’m so grateful to have another internet home here on this site, to tell the stories of how I do it and what I’m learning along the way. I love writing, thinking things through, and sharing the behind-the-scenes of what I’m working on and how I think–and this year, I’ve been lucky to work with a few of you one-on-one both in calls and in the month-long Start Something Program. I’m blown away by the incredible people I get to meet and interact with.

You, seriously, are the best. I hope you all know how wonderful you are. I want to highlight some of the amazing people I’ve gotten to work with, as a quick nod to all of you and your talented ways:

  • Krista, who explores the everyday human experiences and  “response crafting” (I love this term!) … who doubles down as an IT Consultant by day and philosopher-doer by night;
  • Jennifer, whose backstory is so touching and who has such grace and confidence; she’s building a platform and website called “The Health Sessions,” looking at how to achieve your dreams while dealing with chronic illness (check out her Facebook page, and watch for her new website coming soon);
  • Lauren, who works in social media in New Orleans and blogs about travel, work and love at Mermaid Chronicles. (And my personal favorite: her story of landing a job via a story of carrying a surfboard through the subways of New York. Yes!)
  • Lisa, an all-around “Advocate for Awesome,” who is a Higher-Ed power-punch and triple threat through her talents in speaking, writing, and intrapreneurial mindset–and a contagious zest for growth and learning.
  • And so many more. There are some goodies still being crafted behind-the-scenes, and I can’t wait to see (and support) so many of you. Continue reading “Happy Holidays 2012!”

NAME IT: The Handy Cheat-Sheet For How to Deal with Feelings.

Feelings, emotions, troubles and woes: no one is immune, despite the shiny glory of the internet and our addictions to various social-media outlets. I have a handy trick that I’ve used with a lot of success over the past couple of years each time I get overwhelmed, scared, afraid, worried, or wondering what to do a midst all the befuddlement:

Name it.

The best thing you can do with your feelings is to name them. Acknowledge them. Point to them, and talk about what they really are and where they came from.

“since feeling is first” – e. e. cummings.

The range of human emotions is incredible: each emotion a short clue into your relationship with your environment and the world around you. Spend time considering what each feeling is and what it’s proper name is.

Are you feeling overjoyed, happy, excited, enthusiastic, rushed, terrified, afraid, lonely, scared, sad, depressed, frantic, cold, weak, weary, wonderful, in awe, in love, in lust? How about frightened, joyful, thankful, grateful, gleeful, brave, energized, unbelieving or disillusioned?

What is the feeling that you’re having, and what’s causing it?

I use this template to death, often walking on a brisk and quick walk, dumping out the plethora of feelings onto my mental notepad, exploring the reason behind each one. This is the template I used for weeks after a terrible break-up, the one I used when I was too tired to think straight after my website launch, and even the template I used this week after catching a nasty cold and traveling for nearly every single day this month. (I feel TIRED, yo, because I’ve been TRAVELING.)

What are you feeling? 

Name it. 

Everybody Has Something

I’ve lived long enough–and talked to enough people–to know that everyone has something. Behind the exterior, behind the face, behind the brilliance or seeming-perfection, there are stories. People have lived through loss, hardship, trauma, and fear; they have scars that are visible and invisible; and despite all evidence to the contrary, most–if not all–people are dealing with things far beyond what they’re telling you.

If you don’t know the trials and difficulties, you just might know them well enough yet.

I certainly know the days when I’m having a hard, difficult week, and yet the shiny internet surface–or even my in-person face–doesn’t show the rougher edges. People don’t know all that’s going on.

It helps to remember a key phrase–I believe I heard it first from Jenny Blake, but I’ve heard it elsewhere too:

“Don’t compare your insides to everybody else’s outsides.” 

Everyone’s got a whole lot of work on the inside, and more stories than you can tell. Don’t assume that what looks perfect is always so easy.

And if you’re having a bad day, or a hard time: keep going. I believe in you. I’ve spoken to enough of you these past several months to know how incredible you all are. All of it. The good and the bad and all the bits in between.

With love,


What Do You Do When The Thing You Want Doesn’t Exist?

I saw this go by a few days ago and I had to share it: credit and thanks to Michael Ellsberg for posting it originally. 

A few updates to the December Giveaway post: all of the slots for Saturday are filled up (they filled up within a couple of hours!) but there are a couple spots left for the rest of December for anyone looking for a booster shot to take you into the New Year. Sign up for a brainstorming session (1 hour) here. And thanks to Ian for the suggestions on what to call the “sale” (I dislike the term Cyber Monday and I also dislike the word “sale.” But I digress…)–keep ’em coming! 

Gratitude, Holiday Cheer + Post-Thanksgiving Epic Giveaways.

Congratulations to Melissa for winning a copy of Shane Mac’s book, “Stop With The BS” and to Claire and Anne for winning spots to Molly Mahar’s Holiday Council (which starts Monday, November 26th– join me there! I’ll be on the interviews and on as many calls as possible). I’ve been hearing wonderful reviews of the book and so many of you have reached out to say how much you like the layout and design: thank you! I’m SO GLAD!

Also, stay tuned because I STILL have LOTS more to give away, even *after* this post, and this post is a big one. Nuts, right? Happy Holidays to all of you. 

Gratitude, for all of you.

As I write on this blog and interact with so many people via email and in the comments, I find myself overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, mostly with gratitude. Your letters, emails, comments, and positive energy make me feel so lucky. From the bottom of my big, deep, water-loving heart:

Thank you.

You are all wonderful. Thank you.

Thank you for supporting me in the Charity Swim we did earlier this year, thank you for participating so actively in this blog, thank you for surprising me, thank you for teaching me. Thank you for all of your wonderful comments about the recently-launched book, and for everything you do. I appreciate it, more than you probably know.

And in the name of gratitude, I’ve put together my first “Epic Big Fat Delicious Wonderful Holiday Sale.”** 

(The name needs a little work, right? A free present for someone who comes up with a better name for what I’m doing today, deal? Deal. Leave a note in the comments and I’ll send you something special if I like it). 

The writing on this website is all free–all of the essays, thoughts, wandering, questions, ideas and inspiration. I write because I have to, because it’s in my soul to write, and my writing ritual is to open up a notebook or a computer every time I have an idea, sometimes multiple times a day. I’ve been known to obsessively type into my phone new ideas whenever I’m out and about, drafting new thoughts. Beyond the prolific nature of this site, however, there are also lots of ways to work with me for people who want more advanced content and specialized one-on-one time. For those of you that have been wanting to work with me, check it out. There’s LOTS of good stuff coming at you today: Continue reading “Gratitude, Holiday Cheer + Post-Thanksgiving Epic Giveaways.”

Do You Have A Life Philosophy?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May your hearts, minds, families and homes be filled with gratitude and blessings. As part of this season’s focus on gratitude and thanks, I’m doing a huge number of THANKSGIVING GIVEAWAYS!  I’m giving away lots of good things throughout the entire month of November (and now I’m up until Christmas–I have more things than I can ever use, and there will be LOTS of giveaways). In the last post, I gave away a copy of Shane Mac’s book, “Stop With The BS,” and today I’ll be giving away TWO free seats to Molly Mahar’s “Holiday Council,” a 21-day course that helps you reflect on the year past and plan for the upcoming year, beginning November 26th, with the fabulous Molly (and I may even make a cameo in her interview series!). To win, see the question at the end–the winners will be chosen at the end of the day Friday, November 23rd.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be giving away three copies of a documentary, creating up a “Pay What You Can” day, and opening up new spots for the Start Something Project in December and January. Lots of good things! But now–to the bigger question, and the focus of this essay: 

Do You Have A Philosophy Of Life?

Do you have a life philosophy? A great goal so important that you’re willing to sacrifice other goals? Many writers today categorize this as your “passion,” your “purpose,”  or your “legend,” often with the intention that you should know what it is soon and figure it out.

Personally, I find this stressful to consider: we don’t always know what we like, and sometimes we have to get really good at something before we find it satisfying; the paradox of passion is that often, in my experience, you have to grow it. Continue reading “Do You Have A Life Philosophy?”

Stop With The Bull Shit: Calling BS On “Corporate,” Life, Relationships, Careers — Shane Mac

I met Shane Mac two years ago via Twitter, when serendipitously we both remarked on the strange olfactory sensations of shopping malls (we commented wryly about the stench pouring from Abercrombie and Fitch stores)–and followed it up with a beer (maybe several beers, in fact) in San Francisco. He was one of my first twitter-to-real-life friends, and I’ve followed his work at Gist, Zaarly and other places with admiration and respect. Continue reading “Stop With The Bull Shit: Calling BS On “Corporate,” Life, Relationships, Careers — Shane Mac”

Reading List 2012: On Family, Parenting, Leaping, Daring, and the Future

As you know, I love reading. I love everything about books, learning, curling up with coffee and a new book, discovering ideas and curating conversations. Here’s a list of what I’ve been learning from this past week–as well as the books I’ve recently read or am nearly done with from the last month or two. Since I started taking the bus more regularly to work (I no longer have my car, by the way–more updates on that later)–I’ve had a lot more time to read and I love it.

I’m doing a lot of this as research for a couple of upcoming events: I’m hosting a Walk + Talk with Sandbox tomorrow (Sunday) in San Francisco, for which many of these readings are a starting point. (If you’re in town and you’re curious what it is, email me.) On Wednesday, November 14th, I’m teaching a Storytelling and Narrative workshop in San Francisco with General Assembly.

And speaking of books! Stay tuned on Tuesday, because we’re launching the book I’ve been designing and I’ll have excerpts and all of the digital and physical book details! (I designed the book, and it’s fun to watch this project come to life–I am SO EXCITED to share it with you). But for now: back to reading.

Here are books I’ve been reading in the last two months. I highly recommend ALL of these: 

Bringing up Bebe, by Pamela Druckerman. An American woman raises her children in Paris, and what this teaches her about cultural differences in child-rearing, parenting, and more. Fascinating cultural study and insights into the psychological beliefs about humans and how they operate. I loved it.

Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. I’m about a third of the way through this book and she’s already made me cry, several times. Our biggest fear is that we’ll be ordinary; we’re afraid that we won’t matter; we’re ashamed that we’re not living up to our greatness. This culture of shame–and scarcity–is a widespread problem, and until we learn how to be vulnerable and okay with the less-than-desirable emotions, our capacity for love, wonder, and greatness will also be hampered. I love this book.

Happier At Home, by Gretchen Rubin. I LOVE GRETCHEN RUBIN. I can’t describe it. The way she writes–and her authenticity about what she likes and doesn’t like, her quirks, and her own personal love affair with good literature, books and philosophy caused me to sit on my couch for three hours on a Friday night and read this book, out loud, over the telephone to other people. Yes. Love it. Her affinity for numbered lists and children’s books, her advice to “abandon a project,” and her counter-intuitive advice that possessions aren’t always the devil (some possessions remind you of experiences or enable you to have experiences, for example), lands well in my current itch to make my home more of a “Home,” and to study what makes me happy, even while dancing across the world and moving from city to city.

I Live In The Future And Here’s How It Works, by Nick Bilton. A quirky, eccentric Brooklynite who seems to know everything Apple and Tech, I love his analysis and presentation of the way the world is shifting and how our our communications media (internet, twitter, the fact that we all have computers in our pocket) are changing the world permanently and also changing our minds, behaviors, and interactions as well. If you don’t understand or haven’t heard of the relationship of the digital shift to the previous disruptive effects of the printing press, read this.

Here Comes Everybody,  by Clay Shirky. Along the same lines as Bilton’s book, but from 2008–he tells us how the organizational and instantaneous abilities of digital connectivity allow us to have much more radical transparency and power of assembly, as with the recent Church scandals, and how this organizational change is disruptive in massively good ways (but still highly disruptive.) Incredibly highly recommended. Clay Shirky tops my list of favorite authors.

The Guide To The Good Life, by William B Irving, on Stoic Philosophy. I’d actually never heard of Stoicism before, and it often gets a bad rap because the word “stoic” is associated with “not feeling or showing emotions,” which is not exactly what the philosophy is about. Have you ever read a book that feels like someone took ideas in your brain and put them into a clear structure? Much of my life is lived in line with many Stoic ideas–so hearing about them, and confirming the ideals, has been a transformative experience. From practicing negative visualization (the idea that we should sometimes imagine what it would be like to lose what we have, in order to better enjoy it in the present), to giving up dreams for wealth or fame, to learning how to delight in every single moment and marvel at the present, as it unfolds around us –this book is a beautiful anecdote (if not a lot more) to the current cultural and societal norms surrounding us. It also taught me a lot about the history of Philosophy and early philosophers.

The Impact Equation, by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. “Trust Agents,” their earlier co-authored book, was one of my favorite books when I started blogging and realizing how to create and leverage relationships and influence (in a good way) through online interaction. This book pushes to the next step, teaching people how to use their platforms for high impact and also how to stop making noise in a world that’s getting increasingly noisier. I’m only a couple of chapter in, but I’ll finish it very soon.

READING: “Weekend Edition” –or, the start to an endless number of conversations. 

Is the creative industry a death trap? Are we doing work that matters? What does it mean to be Pro-Life? What were we fighting for in this election? Is freedom really free? Is fairness free? What is equality? Should the government’s role be to give us freedoms (“freedom to”) or to protect us from harm (“freedom from”)? What does it mean to live in cities? Is our world moving towards an increasingly rural-urban demographic shift? What can you do with your own two feet to affect climate change? Does the internet make us lie more–or less? Why does the arc of the moral universe bend towards justice? Is disagreement good? And what are we fighting for afterall?  Continue reading “Reading List 2012: On Family, Parenting, Leaping, Daring, and the Future”

Reinvention Isn’t Easy, But It Is Necessary: 22 Thoughts from Julien Smith

It’s November, the season of gratitude–one of my favorite seasons. In the spirit of gratefulness, thanks, and learning, I’ll be giving away prizes with almost every single post all throughout November. Some of the things I have to give away include a copy of Chris Brogan and Julien Smith’s new book, “The Impact Equation,” copies of I’m Fine, Thanks, (the documentary by Crank Tank Studios), a digital copy of Do Something, and a copy of the upcoming book by Shane Mac, Stop With The BS. If you haven’t yet, make sure you sign-up to be notified of new posts by email so you can win all of these goodies: there are a lot of giveaways this month!

Today’s thoughts come from a powerful presentation by Julien Smith at last months’ Powder Keg conference in Indianapolis, Indiana–and a chance to win a copy of his latest book, The Impact Equation. 

Reminders.

“If we don’t cannibalize ourselves, someone else will.”
(Steve Jobs)

Why did Apple make the iPhone? Continue reading “Reinvention Isn’t Easy, But It Is Necessary: 22 Thoughts from Julien Smith”

Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review


It’s the end of the month (Happy Halloween!) and I’m sitting down to do my monthly review–which happens as close to the 30th as I can get each month, give or take a couple of days depending on my schedule and deadlines. I find that I like to check-in on the 30th to see how things are going, because a monthly check-in is a good rhythm to gauge whether or not I’m making significant progress on my larger goals, what I moved forward on, and whether or not I’m happy with the balance in my health, lifestyle, ambitions, physicality and writing dreams.

I’m sharing a peek-behind-the-scenes into my monthly review because I think you’ll like it–I love learning how people operate and how often they check in with themselves, what (or whether or not) they set goals for themselves, and how they go about reaching them. I like getting things done and making things happen, and this is a system that works for me. I’ve shared it with a handful of people over the past couple of days and so I’m documenting both what I do–and some of the questions they have–as a peek behind the curtains. Continue reading “Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review”