Upcoming 2017 Monthly Writing Themes

December is a time for rest and renewal. I’ll be taking the holiday time to write nearly exclusively on my book and focus on the Mastermind group I’ve been working with since September.

Here are the monthly writing themes for the upcoming new year, if you’re curious: 

  • January 2017: Discernment 
  • February 2017: Perspective
  • March 2017: Health
  • April 2017: Systems 

If you want to stay in touch about the next round of the Mastermind, put your name on this list and I’ll send out a new round of applications again at some point early in the new year. 

See you in January,

Sarah

Creating your own weekly review: Robert Cooper on finding ways to be exceptional.

Living up to your potential sounds pretty fancy. It’s something we all want, right? Live up to your potential. Maximize your potential. Be all that you can be. 

But how, exactly, do you do it? How does an intangible life objective become manifest into your daily routine? For Robert Cooper, author of The Other 90%: How to unlock your vast untapped potential for leadership and lifeaccessing our own hidden intelligence and achieving our potential lies in better understanding neuroscience and trusting our brains in order to unlock our full capacity.

What did you do last week?

What did you do last week? What did you do yesterday?

A friend of mine was chatting with me recently, and he confessed that he’d get to the end of his day and he would forget what it was that he had done during the day. He’d look at his to-do list and realize, “Oh, right—I did some account desk settings, some client help, answered emails, built my next list…”—but when prompted with a question, he couldn’t remember. Nothing stood out.

Our brains are designed to help keep us safe and warm—comfortable and secure. Cooper describes how this part of our brain works:

“A powerful part of the brain, the amygdala, wants the world to run on routine, not change. Located within the limbic system, an ancient area of the mind that deals with the way you perceive and respond to the world, the amygdala relentlessly urges us to favor the familiar and routine. It craves control and safety, which at times can be vital.”

The amygdala serves as the center of our brain to keep us safe and secure. When deciding between doing something new and something familiar, we’ll be steered to the familiar. This is helpful in many ways—but in terms of growing beyond your comfort zone, not so much.

“The amygdala’s instincts, which have evolved over thousands of years, tend to spill over into every aspect of life and promote a perpetual reluctance to embrace anything that involves risk, change, or growth.”

And here’s the kicker:

[tweetable hashtag=”—Robert Cooper via @sarahkpeck”]”Unless you choose to consciously override this brain tendency, you’re consigned to repeating the past.”[/tweetable]

After understanding how our brains operate to keep us safe, he devised a simple mechanism to “overcome our natural resistance to growth.” By regularly asking two questions—whether it’s by taping them to our bathroom mirror; scheduling a meeting with ourselves weekly, or having a journaling practice—we can begin to override the amygdala’s tendency to keep us safe and secure.

He recommends asking yourself two questions:

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What did you do last week that was exceptional?[/tweetable]

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What can you do next week that no one expects of you?[/tweetable]

Defining exceptional:

Exceptional might be loving more; it might a tender moment. It might be resting more, or doing less. What is exceptional for you—taking your child to school and holding his hand and listening to his stories—might be different for the next person.

For me, this week, I’ll follow up with my clients and prospects and touch base with people just to let them know I’m thinking of. This week, I’ll plan a brand-new webinar and teach myself a new software program to run more online classes. And this week, I’ll do week 6 of The Artist’s Way, a project still in fruition for me. Those are the exceptions to my week. Those are the pieces that are somehow difficult for me, and that will make this week above and beyond last week.

Breaking down ‘exceptional’ into weekly increments—noticing what’s different from one week to the next; understanding how a little bit more, or a little bit different this week can be the work that matters—is both tangible and do-able, and keeps you on track.

That way, when fifty-two weeks add up to a year as they always seem to do, you can look back and think, wow. That year was great.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What will you do this week that’s exceptional?[/tweetable]

Thank you.

Snowy Brooklyn

(Photograph: Snowy Brooklyn). 

I want to say thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you for listening,
For inspiring me, for delighting me,
For telling me your stories.

Thank you for caring,
For being, for questioning, for pushing
Me, for pushing YOU,
For all of the beautiful work you do,
Even when it’s messy, and you wonder, curious,
Sad, lonely, afraid, in the dark, and yet
Your gorgeous spirit still shines, tells me
We’re all going to be okay.

Thank you,
For the effort you give in
carving out your greatest self.

Thank you for working,
For considering, for questing, for laughing,
For leaning with me and making a commitment to
Learning, even while you’re
Swaying and flailing,
Swirling and whirling, random
Flaps uncertainly in the wind.

It means a lot to me that you’re here.

Sometimes I feel like we’re just only getting started…

I’ve been here for a while, writing now into my 4th year,
And my heart swells with gratitude at
How much this has taught me, how many of you
Have shared, emailed, written, giggled, laughed,
Found, discovered, played, and you’ve
Given me, lifted me up, grown me.

Thank you.
XO.

sarah signature

Craft beautiful things. Make art. Move every day. Stop driving. Practice gratitude and joy. 13 things to carry with me from 2013.

It’s here. The world spun around the sun again, and we’re buried in the darkness of winter. Sun rises late, lazy, making my head ache in the morning while rising. We look back. We reflect on the year past, we look at the year ahead, we wonder how so much changed and yet all stayed the same. The internet is a parade of round-ups and reflections, thoughts and wishes. I join in: I love remembering and reflecting.

This year, I want to let go. To let go of past selves, of old habits, of things no longer serving me. We have a few more weeks left in the year of the Snake before we hit the year of the Horse. They say that the more you shed during your snake year, the faster you can gallop in the horse year.

I’ll hold on to a few things: things I’ve learned, relationships I love, habits I want to continue to cultivate.

What will you keep from 2013? What will you get rid of? What can you take with you? Here’s what I hope to keep:

13 things to take with me from 2013.

Here’s what I want to carry with me:

1: Move every day.

When I don’t move, I start to cry. My animal emotions build up inside of me and wreak havoc on my body, brain, and sensibility, and I start to get angrier, sadder, and more worried. Movement calms me down. I want to say yes to more morning walks, yoga teacher training, giggle dances, random push-ups, and play dates at the trampoline park. Every day I somehow seem to forget how important movement is, but when I look back at 2013, my happiest times came when I built movement into my schedule.

2: Stop driving.

This year, I sold my car and I’ve lived car-free in two cities where I rarely drive. It’s fantastic. I take buses, subways, cars (if I have to) and rent a bike. I read for 30-45 minutes on the subway each time. I talk to people I’m with. I go on walks. Each time I get back to the crazy expressway I realize just how insane (and dangerous) it is to put large vehicles in the operating hands of tired, sleep-deprived people who can’t even see the road in front of them.

3: Live with less.

I gave away more than half of my stuff this year. It feels freeing. Light. Two truck loads to the dump, five gift days of giving things to people who could use them, and at least a dozen trips to the goodwill and the recycle. I just don’t need it. There is so much we don’t need, yet we get wrapped up in the buying of things as a band-aid to our feelings. Less of that. Live light.

4: Live within my means.

Financial trouble is anxiety-inducing for me. I spent a lot of money in my early twenties on a graduate education. I spent more time ignoring how much money I was spending. Last year I paid down a ton of debt, and I learned a lot about money. I want to keep this and up the ante: live with less, spend less (or spend consciously), delight in smaller spaces and fewer purchases, and stay free by reducing my debts to consumerism.

5: Eat a lot more green stuff.

I shifted from processed carbs and wheat to a gluten-free diet with far fewer processed sugars and carbs. I eat grains and starches in the evenings, and limit them during the day–mostly because I learned how good it feels. I paused in November for a detox and raw food retreat and learned new recipes, skills, and knowledge in eating well. Nourishment comes in the form of putting beautiful, healthy food in my body, and I thrive in it.

6: Push the boundaries. Find the edge.

One of the best decisions I made in 2013 was to push my edge and join Yoga Teacher Training. Twenty hours a week of reading, learning, lessons, physical practice, spiritual reminders, and inner reflection. It’s not easy to spend every Sunday doing it, but my body and mind have already shifted. It was a push to join, and each weekend is a refinement in reaching my edge. In life, it’s important to push towards your edges and find your limits. Lean. Grow.

7: Rest.

Rest your mind, your body, and your soul. Each one needs rest. My mind needs more rest. Take vacations. Say no. Move slowly. Do one thing at a time.

8: Learn.

Learn as much as you can. Our brains are thirsty for knowledge and ideas, and we can learn so much more. I want to learn multiple languages, more systems, more ideas, more projects. Keep learning.

9: Craft beautiful partnerships and invest in good communities.

Investments of time in good people pays off. I am so thankful for the beautiful people in my life and how rich they have made me–in ideas, health, accountability, and joy. I spent two years building a partnership with a man I’m now going to marry, and we work and talk every day about how to keep making it better. Invest in (good) people with your love and your time. Sign up for new events to meet more of your right people.

10: Build beautiful things. Make art.

Use your hands, build beautiful things, string together delicious words. Humans make things–projects, products, crafts of art, things of love. I am happiest making.

Two quotes I love from last year:

“The antidote to consumerism isn’t minimalism, it’s art.”

“Believe it to be beautiful or know it to be useful.”

11: Go deep. Listen to your feelings, even if you don’t understand them.

That twinge that says something’s not right, even if you can’t figure out logically? It’s SUPER IMPORTANT. Listen to it. Be a witness to your feelings. 

Some feelings are your ego and the whack-a-doo voice in your head, and you can practice being witness to it (not jumping when it says jump). Other things–little intuitive notes, flavors of feelings, hints at gut reactions–take a while to learn how to listen to. The best way is to start listening. I listened when my arm tingled lightly in 2009 and it turned out my arm was telling a story about a large blood clot in my chest. (Thank God I listened). I didn’t listen early enough when I should have ended a relationship and a job. Listening to feelings matters.

12: Practice gratitude and joy.

Gratitude and joy. They are muscles and habits just like anything else. The more you practice, the greater it gets. Practice what you want more of. Happiness, joy, laughter, light–they require practice. Seek them. Rehearse them. Indulge in them. Remember them. Record them. Build them up.

13: Choose freedom.

One of my guiding lights over the last year was growing towards more and more freedom. Living with less means I need to earn less money to support my lifestyle. Needing less money means I don’t have to work non-stop. Building products and classes lets me scale my impact and reach more people. Earning more money allows me to hire more people and leverage more impact in the world. Earning more money but spending less means I create resilience in my life and my business. Eating healthier frees me from seeing the doctor so often. Not spending money (or consciously spending money) lets me feel financially free.

When making decisions–about things, money, life, love, friendships, work, and more–I like to ask,

“Will this let me feel free?”

Yes.

How was your 2013? What lessons will you take with you?

The best of the blog: behind the scenes on organization, archives, and new reading collections for your weekend.

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“Sarah, how long does it take to build a website?”

That’s a great question. I get asked this question all the time, not surprisingly. And the answer, well–the answer is difficult to pin down.

Because it’s not just about the design, or the bones of the site–it’s about the content. And the organization of that content.

Building this site has been a labor of love.

Building this site is and has been a labor of love (and increasingly a business), and it’s taken me a very long time to do—I’ve been blogging for three years and I’ve written nearly 300 posts. The simple reason I’ve kept doing it is because I love writing. I love learning, ideas, and growth—and I learn through writing, philosophical contemplation, and grappling with ideas.

But how can you show how complex, layered, and deep a site is with a pixelated interface? The surface of a flat screen–whether a tablet, mobile device, or computer–only hints at the edges of the body of work; and often, we only notice the things that work poorly.

The length of time it takes to build a website is directly related to the amount of content that’s within the site.

And content creation is often the most difficult component. (I know: I’ve built and designed sites for people and waited months for the copy for the About and services pages to come; and I’ve done the same on projects where creating the paragraph to describe who I am and what I do takes an incredibly long time).

Adding new systems, getting organized, and site changes:

Over the past few month, I’ve been building into this site several new systems–from changing the frequency of posting to adding a newsletter and creating new sign-up forms–and I’ve also gone back and revamped and updated the archives and best of page. The complete record of all of the posts I’ve ever written (including some of the embarrassing early starts) are there.

How’d I get here? Simple. I wrote 250 essays, and I’m still showing up.

Going through all of the old content, watching my journey, looping together not-before-seen threads–let me discover new themes and do a macro-business audit. What do I continuously feel pulled to write about? What pieces were the standout pieces? Which ones surprised me? Are there areas and places I could improve the quality?

Some essays I would edit, massively. Time gave me perspective and new information. Others are poorly written (yup, happens to me all the time: the only way to get to the good stuff is to write it all out).

The benefit? I have 250 essays (well, probably 100 of those I would actually use). I can take these essays and build them into longer pieces; I can learn from them; I can build out longer documents by stringing them together, and I can start to layer complexity into future thought pieces.

So today, my treat: here’s a sampling of the best of the blog. Dig in, if you’d like. Have a cup of coffee and join me. I’ve curated what I think are the best of the blog, below. Enjoy.

On writing:

Life philosophy and the bigger picture:

Getting started, motivation:

Reminders, or how to keep going:

Making things happen–actually getting it done:

Psychology and the inner workings of the mind:

Useful tools, tricks, and tips:

Reflection, goal-setting, and tools for review:

Modest minimalist, and the art of having less:

Personal narrative and growing into your future self:

Reminders of kindness and empathy:

Swimming, running, athleticism, yoga + movement:

See the full archives or an extended list of the best-of-blog, in the menu up top or in the links. Thanks for being here.

sarah signature

 

 

2013: Lessons to Take With Me

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Part two of my annual round-up. For part one, check out my annual review for 2012

The last year, or two, weren’t easy–and full of lots of mistakes–but incredible and far better than the first half of my twenties. I’ve mused lately, in my 29th yearwhat this decade will add up to. What have I done? What does my daily life look like? How have I changed? Have I made a mark on the world? 

By and large, the latter half of the decade was far more psychologically and personally satisfying–coming into stride with many of my quirks and idiosyncracies, delighting in saying no in order to stay at home and work on a project purely because my soul wanted to, and deciding to skip, sing, hold hands and lie on the floor when I felt like it–all of this slowly built a foundation of happiness and glee I wasn’t accustomed to after coming off of years of teenage (and early twenty-something) angst. It’s worth saying, however, that much of the groundwork for many of my leaps and bounds between age 25-29 came through several years of dedicated, isolated, and non-public personal and professional efforts in my younger years.

In short: it gets better. For those who work hard, and who are exploring and taking chances, it adds up. Keep going. Learning compounds, (the right) friendships deepen, people stop caring if you have acne or armpit sweat or if you spit a little when you talk (or they tell you, directly and kindly) and generally they care more that you’re passionately geeky about something, that you take your energy and focus it on making things happen, that you’re crafting both an identity and a legacy in the world, albeit through trial and error. If you’re in a slough–and I’ve had years of undulations, so I understand the melancholy that can come from not understanding just-quite-what-to-do-next–stick it out another season, and keep experimenting.

In the meantime, here’s what I’ve gleaned along the way, particularly lessons that have solidified over the last year. In looking back through the essays on this site and musing over what I’d like to take with me, here’s what I’d like to carry with me for this next spin around the sun.


Almost everything is far easier said than done.


It can take a year or a decade to learn a lesson and build a practice or a habit I joke that it takes me a year to learn a habit because I’ve got twelve months to try 30 days over again, and by the 8th or 9th time, I’m almost there. Yoga took me four years to get into. Running took me three years. Blogging, two years (or ten, depending on how you count and whether copious emails and live journal count as blogging). Every lesson I’ve learned I had to learn personally. reading other’s wisdom didn’t cement the idea into my soul, my being.

So for everything below, I’ll write the lessons–but in all probability, you’ll also have to learn them yourself. Continue reading “2013: Lessons to Take With Me”

2012: Year In Review

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Pelican on the San Francisco Bay, November 2012 (see below for the photo-behind-the-photo).

This is my typical annual review, a process by which I review this blog, my life (although not all of it is shared here), the lessons I’ve learned, and some of the growth that’s occurred through projects and processes I have (or more painfully, haven’t) achieved and accomplished. This review is tailored towards this blog and my work in psychology, philosophy and online community building; I’ll share each of the sections of the review in categories accordingly, and it’s likely to be a lot longer than most blog posts.

Why An Annual Review? 

I’ve been blogging here at It Starts With since May 2011, or for about a year and a half. Previously I wrote another blog for about six months, although I quickly tired of the title and theme and was frustrated with the design; before that I wrote essays for the local Examiner, many of which were cross-posted to create the early archives of this blog. Technically speaking, this site that you’re looking at didn’t exist until May 2011.

I engage in regular monthly reviews as well as a longer annual reviews similar to what Chris Guillebeau does–basically reviewing what went well and what didn’t go so well at year-end.

In the past year and a half, I’ve gone from zero subscribers and traffic and very little understanding of WordPress to designing my own website, playing extensively with Google Analytics and MailChimp, learning about subscribers, and interacting with a continuously-growing audience of some of the smartest and most interesting people I’ve ever met.

Where We’ve Been, and Where We’re Going.

More and more I’m convinced that very few of us truly understand the flattening and leveraging power of the internet: with consistent effort and publication of your ideas, you can find people and they can find you. No longer do we need to stay within the same location, job, city, or network, although the previous world constrains our thinking and perceptions of barriers more than we’d like to admit (or even understand). The best books I’ve read to this effect include Nick Bilton’s and Clay Shirky’s, among other of my favorite books from 2012.

In conjunction with this revelation that the internet allows us access and influence in ways not possible before, I’m also realizing how important understanding scale is for your objectives: and it’s not necessarily that bigger is better. Believe it or not, you don’t have to be the most important person on the internet (or in real life). The network size and community size you need is highly variable and doesn’t need to be that big–a lot is possible with access to just a few people, provided you cultivate the right niche and community. If you build a community of 100 people interested in knitting across your city, you can create a movement. The first YouTube video just crossed the 1 Billion threshold mark. The world is changing, as it always does. It’s exciting.

But back to this particular internet world, my blog:

Every year I sit down and look back at my piles of notes, writing, publication (on and off line) and the last year’s dreams. Dreams and goals are only as good as the number of times you revisit them to take steps or learn why you’re not doing what you want to be doing. Each annual review is typically a two to three-week process of reflection and discovery. Often I’m surprised, delighted, annoyed (and many other emotions) from discovering that in some ways, I’ve done more than I wanted, and in other areas, far less than I wanted. Continue reading “2012: Year In Review”

Happy Holidays 2012!

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and all the love and joy I can send your way over the holidays. Thanks for being here, for building such an amazing community, and for teaching me so many things over the past year. I’ve learned so much from each of you who write in, comment, and tell me stories about how you’re changing and growing throughout your lives and explorations. I feel so lucky to be able to write (and that people listen!) and that I’ve spent a year doing this thing on the side that I love doing–telling stories and being here. It’s wonderful.

It’s been an incredible year, both at my job and in editing several of the websites and projects I’m involved in, and I’m so grateful to have another internet home here on this site, to tell the stories of how I do it and what I’m learning along the way. I love writing, thinking things through, and sharing the behind-the-scenes of what I’m working on and how I think–and this year, I’ve been lucky to work with a few of you one-on-one both in calls and in the month-long Start Something Program. I’m blown away by the incredible people I get to meet and interact with.

You, seriously, are the best. I hope you all know how wonderful you are. I want to highlight some of the amazing people I’ve gotten to work with, as a quick nod to all of you and your talented ways:

  • Krista, who explores the everyday human experiences and  “response crafting” (I love this term!) … who doubles down as an IT Consultant by day and philosopher-doer by night;
  • Jennifer, whose backstory is so touching and who has such grace and confidence; she’s building a platform and website called “The Health Sessions,” looking at how to achieve your dreams while dealing with chronic illness (check out her Facebook page, and watch for her new website coming soon);
  • Lauren, who works in social media in New Orleans and blogs about travel, work and love at Mermaid Chronicles. (And my personal favorite: her story of landing a job via a story of carrying a surfboard through the subways of New York. Yes!)
  • Lisa, an all-around “Advocate for Awesome,” who is a Higher-Ed power-punch and triple threat through her talents in speaking, writing, and intrapreneurial mindset–and a contagious zest for growth and learning.
  • And so many more. There are some goodies still being crafted behind-the-scenes, and I can’t wait to see (and support) so many of you. Continue reading “Happy Holidays 2012!”

Do You Have A Life Philosophy?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! May your hearts, minds, families and homes be filled with gratitude and blessings. As part of this season’s focus on gratitude and thanks, I’m doing a huge number of THANKSGIVING GIVEAWAYS!  I’m giving away lots of good things throughout the entire month of November (and now I’m up until Christmas–I have more things than I can ever use, and there will be LOTS of giveaways). In the last post, I gave away a copy of Shane Mac’s book, “Stop With The BS,” and today I’ll be giving away TWO free seats to Molly Mahar’s “Holiday Council,” a 21-day course that helps you reflect on the year past and plan for the upcoming year, beginning November 26th, with the fabulous Molly (and I may even make a cameo in her interview series!). To win, see the question at the end–the winners will be chosen at the end of the day Friday, November 23rd.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be giving away three copies of a documentary, creating up a “Pay What You Can” day, and opening up new spots for the Start Something Project in December and January. Lots of good things! But now–to the bigger question, and the focus of this essay: 

Do You Have A Philosophy Of Life?

Do you have a life philosophy? A great goal so important that you’re willing to sacrifice other goals? Many writers today categorize this as your “passion,” your “purpose,”  or your “legend,” often with the intention that you should know what it is soon and figure it out.

Personally, I find this stressful to consider: we don’t always know what we like, and sometimes we have to get really good at something before we find it satisfying; the paradox of passion is that often, in my experience, you have to grow it. Continue reading “Do You Have A Life Philosophy?”

Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review


It’s the end of the month (Happy Halloween!) and I’m sitting down to do my monthly review–which happens as close to the 30th as I can get each month, give or take a couple of days depending on my schedule and deadlines. I find that I like to check-in on the 30th to see how things are going, because a monthly check-in is a good rhythm to gauge whether or not I’m making significant progress on my larger goals, what I moved forward on, and whether or not I’m happy with the balance in my health, lifestyle, ambitions, physicality and writing dreams.

I’m sharing a peek-behind-the-scenes into my monthly review because I think you’ll like it–I love learning how people operate and how often they check in with themselves, what (or whether or not) they set goals for themselves, and how they go about reaching them. I like getting things done and making things happen, and this is a system that works for me. I’ve shared it with a handful of people over the past couple of days and so I’m documenting both what I do–and some of the questions they have–as a peek behind the curtains. Continue reading “Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review”