Category: Balance

Ten vows for – the new year – right now.

I write a letter to myself every year (in addition to journaling and obsessive list-making and many other things involving pens, paper and imagination).  One of the most important things on my list is not just what I want to achieve, but also my best guess at the way to achieve what I want to achieve – a means to get to the goals that I want to accomplish.

Next to each goal is a break-down of the steps that it will take to get there.

A little further to the right, hanging by my door as I leave my room each morning –  is a set of reminders for things to do, each day, as I live. These are my “rules to live by.” When I get overwhelmed with my ideas, my aspirations, and my lists, this is the list called “right now.”

On my wall I have posted my list of ten things for right now.

Somewhere in the middle, when it gets crazy (Hello, April and May!) – I breathe and remind myself to go slowly and focus on incremental changes. I remind myself not to race to the end of the year, but to let myself learn and grow, slowly, over time.

As part of my lessons from less series, and as a means for taking more time to step back and reflect, these are my rules for right now, for today, and probably for tomorrow.

They’ve really helped me in terms of sanity and balance (however balanced you can be as an intra/entrepreneur). And every day I try to remember these rules, from when I wake up each morning until I fall over in bed each night. I post them because I see them when I wake up, some mornings at 4am, and when I fall asleep at night. My wall, painted blue from a previous’ tenant, has a smattering of green post-its and sheets of paper pinned to it, tacked up, with words written and scribbled and crossed out.

When I get dressed in the morning, I can see the notes next to my mirror. And when I get overwhelmed by my ambitions, scared of doing the little things, terrified that I’ll fail miserably and beautifully, I breathe and try to remember my simple rules.

Here are ten things for right now.

1 – Keep it simple. Appreciate the small steps. Do something little every day and it will probably turn into something bigger.

2 – Live each day as though you may only have one more. Everybody dies. It’s not morbid. It’s true. There’s no guarantee of any second chances.

3 – Appreciate momentum. Never wait to get started.

4 – Laugh often. At least half of the time, when presented with fun and with work, do the fun stuff. It will help the work stuff. (Of course, the ultimate goal is to have the fun stuff BE work, but that doesn’t always happen exactly like that.) Often the fun stuff turns into the best work stuff, anyways. Smile and laugh while you work – it helps.

5 – Encourage others. Never discourage others. People are working hard to do incredible things. Let them.

6 – Wander, Walk, and Run. A lot. It’s what your body is designed to do. We are not designed to sit at computers or at desks. Listen to the most basic, fundamental tenets of design in your body (it makes you a better designer/worker anyways).

7 – Learn. Read. A lot. If you can’t read, watch. If you can’t watch, listen. Observe people around you. Ask questions. Question assumptions. Find something to be insatiably curious about it, and figure out how it works and why it does what it does. Cultivate an insatiable sense of curiosity and wonder.

8 – Listen honestly to the heart. When you get too busy, breathe. When you’re scared, question why, and let yourself feel the emotions. They are honest reflections of your opinions and circumstances.

9 – When you’re scared, it’s okay to step back and reflect before you dive in again. Just don’t wait too long. (You might miss the boat).

10 – When you’re tired, go to sleep. There is no better cure for anything than a beautiful night of rest. Sleep is the most powerful anecdote to hundreds of ailments. The time under closed eye provides a place for imagination, brain re-organization, mental sorting, and is exceptionally mood-boosting. In a world where we are faced with inordinate amounts of pressure to work more, find a way to be selective about the work you do and when your work is done each day, go to bed. Sleep is powerful.

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Hope this helps you as much as it helps me. I fail to achieve these simple rules on a regular basis, and posting them somewhere visible is a great way to remember to relax and do better work.

Sometimes I feel a bit like this pumpkin — squeezed full of food, overburdened with stuff, maxed out with things to do.  (Maybe I’ve had a bit too much Halloween candy, too!). It’s been quite a busy fall – and this week is no exception.  I’m packing and moving into a new apartment, it’s Halloween (happy Halloween everyone!) and my birthday was Saturday (Happy twenty-seven to me! How did I get so darn old already? – more on that in another post).

Moving is a great time for reflection, for cleaning out the closet, for looking at what you own, what you need, and what is holding you back or weighing you down. In addition, my birthday – the time of year when I get gifts and my people ask me what I want to celebrate getting older – feels kind of funny this year.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking somewhat aimlessly about things that I might want for my birthday, but each time I draft a new list, I can’t really pick out one thing that I want, or a reason why I should really be buying any MORE stuff. In fact, I’m getting more and more depressed by this exercise of listing all of these things that I want – as though I didn’t have enough stuff already. I was dreaming of a new iphone, some new running shoes, gadgets for my car … the list goes on.  But we can always use more stuff – there will be new gadgets, tools, books, bikes, and things to play with and buy. And, each thing that you buy will beget the need for more stuff – in an endless cycle of awesome consumerism.  When does it stop?

Moving is compounding the fact that I just have a lot of stuff. I have boxes and boxes of STUFF.

And so, enough. I have enough stuff. I’m putting down the wish lists and the dreams of things that I don’t have – there will always be things that I don’t have. If I were to own all of the possessions in the world, I would end up buried in a pile of stuff.

I have enough stuff. I have more than enough. I have so much stuff, that I ought to give most of it away and look back on the things I own and cherish them.

This birthday, my presents are going to be simple – and while I might benefit from them, I hope that my presents aren’t all about me.  Sometimes, birthdays feel kind of selfish.  But in the spirit of making birthday lists, this is my wish list this year:

I’d like to (1) find a way to use the stuff I already own, (2) Find ways to celebrate without spending any money, (3) Donate Stuff I don’t need to people and places that can use it, and (4) Support an entrepreneur in a venture to change the world.

Dear Birthday-Santa, I’d only like 4 things, please:

Part 1. Find a way to use the Stuff I already 0wn. One of the blessings of moving – and moving often, as I’ve recently done – is that I can look around at what I own and how much space I take up in the world.  In looking at the boxes and boxes of things I have, I’ve decided that my birthday list will include finding useful things to do with the stuff I already own.  Sometimes it’s as simple as looking around us and appreciating the things we already own. Here are five things that I love  – and I already have them:

• My running shoes. I own running shoes. Running is free. I don’t need to be a member of a club or go to track practice or do anything other than put my shoes on, and run. I can run every day of my life, and I never have to pay anyone to do it.  If my running shoes get old, I can run barefoot on the grass. Anyone who tells you that you need “stuff” to go running is wrong. People can hike or walk in sandals, in socks, barefoot on the beach, or with old, crappy shoes.  Sure, a nice pair of shoes once a year is a big boost, but the important thing is going for the run – not buying the shoes. And the thing that makes you feel good is going for the run – certainly not the shoes. So, for my birthday, I’m going on a run.
• A bike. Biking isn’t quite free, but it comes close. I feel exceptionally lucky to have an awesome, awesome bike, some rad shoes, and a helmet. I already have it. What I don’t do is actually ride it. My birthday present to myself is going to be a fun ride one weekend morning in November. An even better present is going to be getting up early and going for a long ride before work.
• Yoga. I have a yoga mat. Actually, I have 2 – I really don’t need them both, if anyone wants one.  I just learned several new sequences and poses (LOVE them), and I’m going to be practicing these new sequences a lot over the next few weeks. In a word: YAY.
• Swim cap, goggles, and the San Francisco Bay. Now, I actually just lost my last towel. So perhaps I may borrow a beach towel if anyone has any extras to spare. But regardless. Nothing but a mile walk stands between me and Aquatic Park. Time for some cold swims. :)
• An apartment in San Francisco. I’m so excited to be moving back, I can’t stand it. (For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been living temporarily close to work for a while, so it’s exciting to be moving back into an apartment again – especially in one of my favorite cities). I’m glad that I’ll have my own room again. And, while I’m donating a bunch of excess Stuff I don’t need – I’ll also be happy to see some of my Stuff again (kitchen appliances! and my own bookshelves!! and dressers! and a bed that, well, fits me! yay!!!!).  That is probably the best birthday present to myself – better than something else new to fill my time.

Part 2. Celebrate without spending excessive amounts of money. I’d like to ask only for things that don’t cost any money. Time is the most precious resource, and if you would spend your time with me, that is the best gift of all. Sometimes we forget all the great things we can do without money and stuff. Here are some great things to do for a birthday:  Go on a bike ride. Make coffee at home and sit in a sunny window. Chat with your friends. Read old magazines. Explore new parks (in San Francisco, there are lots of great parks). Go for a hike. Visit a free museum. Find a new library. Explore the waterfront.

Part 3. Unburden myself of the stuff I don’t need: Donate half of my closet. In a Big Closet Clean-Out, I’m going to be donating half of my clothing and shoes to charity for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Over the next few weeks I’m going to get rid of half of it, using the 2-closet trick. I’m putting all of my clothes into the hall closet. As I use it, I’ll move it into my bedroom closet. What I don’t use, I’ll donate.

Sometimes we get overburdened with stuff, and if you have piles of laundry in front of your closet, with loads of clothes pouring off of your shelves, we should wonder: do we really need all of this stuff? How much stuff should we have in our closets, anyways? What do we really need?

Getting rid of the stuff I don’t need – or that I have too much of – will be nice.  Some of the great places that take your clothes are Salvation Army, Good Will, or even consignment shops, if you’re interested in making a small amount of money from your nicer items. (Although see #4 for what to do with that money!)

Part 4. Fund an Entrepreneur. I think that Entrepreneurs – like Chris Guillebeau (a solo-preneur), Ramit Sethi, Jenny Blake, Leo Babauta, or Jonah Lehrer (these are a few of my favorite bloggers) – are the key to creating new jobs and challenging us to think about truly making ourselves and the world a better place.  But throughout the world, many people can’t afford the simple luxuries that we have access to – (and I’m really thankful to be able to live in a beautiful city, have access to the internet and cable television, to have a great education, and so many wonderful friends and family) – and so it’s important to me to help fund equally brilliant people who lack the means to put their ideas into action. KIVA is a great resource for this, and this year, I’ll be donating a small percentage of my salary towards the ambitions of five entrepreneurs.

I feel such a weight off of my shoulders from this great Fall Clean-Out. This move is especially poignant for me, becuase I feel like I’m finally Sarah again. I’m back in my favorite city in the world (San Francisco!), I’m back doing the things I love doing, and I’m excited to have an apartment to call my own again. What a beautiful present.

I’m happy to say that for my birthday, I’m giving away more things than I’m receiving – finally. Enough with the Stuff. I have more than I could ever possibly need – and I feel so lucky that my life is so blessed in so many ways.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

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** Editor’s note: This is an expanded version of a post originally written for Grown in the City, a Washington, D.C., based blog about urban planning and gardening. The post is a diversion from some of my previous posts, but still holds relevance for themes on this blog, so I thought I’d repost it here today. **

“Gardening gets taken far too seriously.  All I ask is that it should be enjoyable and stimulating and give a sense of place.” – John Hubbard, Painter, Gardens Illustrated, issue 162.

There’s a particular thrill of coming home, tossing off the work jacket, rolling up your pants and heading out into a garden. Digging in dirt must be native to our humanity, somehow, because every gardener I know finds weeding, shoveling, planting, watching, and waiting undeniably stimulating.

For some, the garden is an extensive oasis of land and rolling hills in a backyard; for others, particularly city dwellers, our landscapes come in kitchen pots, terraces, outdoor containers, urban streetscapes, pocket parks, and the shared landscapes of our city parks. Accidental spaces – forgotten streets, community gardens, or volunteer efforts to reinvigorate a derelict space in the city- make up our shared garden spaces in the city today.

My current garden in the San Francisco bay area is a series of unfortunate mistakes and blunders: I’ve left pots out in the cold, put sun-loving plants in the bitter wind and chilly fog that takes over the city, and more recently, I’ve been battling an onset of critters that threaten to wipe out my entire summer garden. After setting up a garden spot in Sausalito (north of San Francisco), I’ve found that this new spot, while sunny, attracts deer, moles, voles, raccoons, cats, dogs, slugs, birds, and even an occasional human footstep – all of which painstakingly eradicated my eight large tomato plants, herbs, and bush beans before the 4th of July. As a result, my increasingly empty garden is starting to feel like a series of mistakes. I don’t have the luscious, delicious garden that I had imagined in my mind. I have a small spot of under-watered grass, some herbs, a few zucchini, and only leftover dreams of large tomato plants for next summer. Frustratingly, I have to question myself: what can I, as a landscape architect in my day job, possibly offer as words of advice to other gardeners in other cities, when I am failing to even succeed in my own garden (or job, for that matter)?

Our views of our careers undergo the same stress and critique. Some days I wake up and I look at myself in my career and lament that the virtual “work garden” seems empty. Some weeks are filled with incredible efforts that feel under appreciated or slide into the wayside.  We have plans and visions for our success in the workplace: we want to climb the career ladder, strike out on our own, and notch success ticks on the virtual measuring stick, allowing us to reflect on our accomplishments over time.  We don’t want to be the same people tomorrow as we are today: our hopes and dreams of bigger salaries and more responsibility reflect our need for growth and accomplishment as people.

So I can’t seem to grow a few plants. This frustration hits close to home, however,  because I would hope that my green thumb might shine a bit brighter. In the end, though, it’s not what the garden (or the work landscape) looks like today – for the raw components are constantly changing and my strategies for success at work continually evolving.  It’s not just the plants that stuck with me (thankfully some zucchini are still growing strong!) that make me smile. Even the disappearing tomato plants make me laugh as I refer fondly to them as my “sunk costs” – for the most difficult plants to grow are often the most valuable teachers.

I have to remind myself as I stare out across the yard and at my pile-ridden desk at work, that the work efforts are not in vain unless I give up or fail to learn from the mistakes; today’s empty dirt lot is a blank canvas rich with learned lessons for tomorrow’s garden. (I know more about voles, moles, and raccoons than I would care to admit. I’ve installed fences, gates, placed garlic in the ground, sprayed deer fence, and even contemplated installing a night camera to identify the critters that wreak the most havoc.)  At work, I may not have projects built (yet) and I am not a published author (yet) and I am still *just* a staff member, but the learning never stops.

For Hubbard’s words on gardening, above, rings true for both my plant palette at home and at my borco-board covered drafting table at work: it should be enjoyable (it is, for the most part) and beyond that, I still can dream, and dig, and water, and play – and it all makes me smile, no matter how many plants keep disappearing. Don’t take gardening (or life) too seriously – even the best-laid plans sometimes fail.  Right now the table is a series of paper piles; I hope in a few years’ time I have built landscapes to share with you, a wider blog audience for my writing, and possibly (although no promises) a decent backyard landscape to sit in and contemplate my next venture. Or just have a barbecue.