Category: Books

Desire, Feelings, and Inner Softness: Why Is It So Hard To Feel Good? The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

1. A confession.

The first time I picked up my copy of Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map I could hardly finish it. I watched as social posts flickered in my online vision, people talking about its brilliance and I wondered why I couldn’t handle it. Personally, I wanted to throw it against the wall. It took me a long time before I picked it up again.

Lost in the throes of a job I didn’t want and a life I didn’t love—coming out of a relationship that didn’t work, and a body that failed me, I couldn’t stand it. How did I want to feel?

How did I want to feel?

I wanted to feel anything but the way that I was feeling.

Desire lights the way home, but it asks you to do something important first: it asks you to look inside and examine your feelings.

And that, shit, that’s hard.

2. It can be easy.

Wait, what? But it’s hard.

Yes, it can be easy.

At first, this sentence will make you laugh. It might make you angry. It made me angry.

Because when you’re in the middle of it, when you’ve tried everything you can and you’re working 12-14 hour days and working a few more hours at the end and you still don’t have enough money, when your fat cells congeal in your ass from sitting too long, when you cry alone in a garage because it’s the only place you can afford to live, having someone tell you it can be easy can be maddening.

It’s not fucking easy! You sputter. You laugh. You reach, reach, reach for the thing that makes you feel better right now, because the truth of the matter is that she’s actually right, as are many of the philosophers that talk about the root of desire within our souls,– right about how what you want, what you desperately crave is to feel the feelings of desire, ambition, pleasure… you want to feel good again.

You want to feel what you want to feel. You crave it, want it, need it.

But then, I didn’t want what I had, and all I wanted was to feel less pain and less hurt and less dissatisfaction and so I did everything I could not to feel.

How did I want to feel?

3. A rant against feelings.

Hated it, I hated it, and I just
didn’t want what I had, so
I did everything in my power
To numb it, to stop it, to prevent it,
God-damn-it, I just don’t want to feel this way any more … I whispered,
tears falling on the outside of my
heart, drops dripping across my ribs, well,
I just don’t want to feel anything.

We’ll run from pain, run as fast as we can into the open arms of
Whatever’s waiting for us that
Tells us we’ll feel better,
Even if feeling better simply means
Not feeling anything at all.

The unbearable lightness of being
Or rather the weight,
the heaviness of wanting to disappear, and
What it felt like under the
Heavy oppressive fatigue
Of loans-bills-obligations-parental-expectations,
job application denials, denials, denials,
to-do lists layered all up in post-its,
tangible reminders of what I hadn’t done and
who I wasn’t and how
miserably I was failing;

Thoughts about what I could and should and would do
If I could only just escape
Escape this hell of daily
monotony, droll dissatisfaction, loss.

I called my coach, my listless voice tacking across the telephone into her ear,
goals rolling out at half speed,
Alarmed, she interrupted me and said,
Sarah, Sarah, Oh Sarah,
First, let’s get you to

Sleep;

You are chasing ambition that can’t serve you right now;
a list of things that won’t help,
Let’s pause, pause.
Sink into what your body needs.
We’ll get there, she murmured quietly,
You don’t have to prove anything today
First, let’s unwind. It’s okay
to let go. To be here, right now.

It’s okay to be here right now.

4. Pain is a teacher.

Pain is the corner of our soul, our own personal life coach,
Talking to us through the crannies of our bodies,
Squishing through our insides,
Reaching out, clawing at our skin from the inside,
ripping at our hearts and minds and
often shouting insistently,

HEY, HELLO, and HELP! And
I’M LOST INSIDE OF WHAT YOU’RE DOING,
and then, sitting back, depressed,
why won’t you listen?
This is not the way.

And these feelings are the only thing your soul’s got to
Tell you that something has to change.
Will you listen?

This feeling, this desire, this pain,
This cutting, terrible, thick block
wrapped up against your chest
It’s a voice, a chant, a prayer, a desire
From your soul.

Yes, here we are again,
Desire, it’s a funny thing.
Desire…

And this desire leads us home.

Yes, it really does.

5. The difference between mind-numbing and feeling.

It’s not easy, digging into this emotional work, but you have a choice: you can continue to build up defenses and safety nets, numbing yourself with security and short-term solutions,

OR,

You can FEEL. You can feel what’s going on, and sit into the turmoil and strangeness and discomfort that is, quite simply, your body telling you a story.

When we have pain, we often try to hide from it or run from it. The discomfort of a job that doesn’t fit, of a relationship that isn’t right–your body knows.

And when it starts to feel bad, that’s your soul, speaking up. It’s saying to you, “Hey, there’s more to me than this. I am so bright, and so full, and so capable, and I need to grow past this and bigger than this. We’ve got to leave what we’re currently in so I can be stronger and bigger and brighter.”

When the soul speaks up, it often looks like a scary story, so at first we try to avoid it, because it sounds like:

“Drop everything you know, and walk away.”

And so, when I first picked up the Desire Map, I hated it. 

The hardest thing was the most simple: Danielle asked me to feel.

And in a world that’s so primed on not feeling and hiding our feelings and distractions and numbing and avoiding, I struggled. I was mad. I was really, really sad. Things hurt. Things weren’t working inside. Things weren’t working inside.

My crutches–alcohol, caffeine, mind-numbing television at night, running and running and running–were what I had to cope.

I didn’t know how I wanted to feel. I wanted not to feel. Asking me how I wanted to feel hurt. Burned. It felt terrible. When I picked up the book and had to confront an onslaught of feelings–to acknowledge feelings at all–I didn’t like it. (That’s the kind way of saying it.)

I cried under the covers and felt a raw ache in the center of my stomach. My eyes felt hollow and sunken in, my pants didn’t fit. I wore all black and barely made it to work on time, sometimes an hour late. I pulled sugar out of the cabinets and put as much of it as I could into my mouth while watching television late into the evening, impressive shows like The Biggest Loser and America’s Next Top Model. I drank entire bottles of wine and loved the feeling of being drunk. I put on glittery clothes and went to as many parties as I could go to. Sometimes I’d get home and sit on the bottom of the stairs and weep. Climbing them took too long.

What the fuck is this shit, I’m sure I said.

Feelings. 

6. The process of getting to the good feelings.

For me and desire mapping, I’ve realized that there is a process to it all.

Sometimes the pre-requisite to getting to the great feelings is acknowledging all the shitty feelings that might currently be present. To get to the good ones, you gotta start where you are. You really can’t start anywhere else. And it can be a messy, painful, difficult unfolding process. It might not be easy right now.

I’m convinced, now, that this is part of the unfolding process.

To feel the root of desire, you first have to feel.

When you cut off the layers of plaque that hold you back, you can shine more brightly.

There’s plaque lining the outside of each of our souls. We build plaque and tartar through life’s wear and tear. We build resistance and protection.

But the current pain is temporary. It’s the space through. Lean into the fire, and walk into the fear, and embrace it. The shaking and stirring is part of the recipe for your greater truth.

There is love and kindness on the other side. Be brave. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Embrace this transformation.

Chip and chisel away at the armor that protected you in the past. You don’t need it anymore. You can be bigger and brighter. I know it. And somewhere inside, you know it, too.

7. Bringing desire to light: a roadmap for your soul.

I picked up the book again, the map, the program.

And begrudgingly wrote down what I wanted, what I wanted to feel.

There was a key distinction: not what I thought I wanted to feel. Words that I thought I should feel tumbled out, like intelligent and accomplished and satisfied. 

Yet my soul whispered Sarah, I’m too tired, in reply.

I dug a little deeper. What did my mind and body and spirit and soul want, right now, in this exact moment? At this point last year, all I wanted to do was sink into a bed of restful bliss, sweet dreams, and a pile of cotton candy so high I’d be able to drift off into a beautiful rest. I dreamed of Mexico vacations and sandy beaches and warmth. My pulse jumped a little when I wandered by McDonald’s and I saw the kiddie grounds with piles of balls. Sinking in… I wanted to rest.

I wanted sleep. I wanted to feel peace.

I wanted freedom.

As I wrote, my ego started furiously correcting me,
Insisting that these little words weren’t
Torches enough to light the proper path,

I needed to be chasing things like Success and Prosperity and Wealth and Fame.

And I laughed,
As much as you can laugh from the belly of your bed buried under covers of tears,
Said, fuck it, you know, right now,
I gotta let go,

All I want right now is

Peace, freedom, quiet, and joy, rest,
And movement in my body.
Joy, I’d like a bit more joy.

These words became my torch for a terrible winter, a slow process to guide me through decisions, a wayfinding map out of the darkness of burnout and fatigue.

As the world swirled up around me, coaxing my cracked mind and ego with invitations, I used these words as sign-posts for decision making for the current period.

Rest, Joy, Movement, Freedom.

Those became the framework for my decisions for the six long, dark, cold winter months where I shielded myself from burnout and clung to the minimum scraps of what I could scrape together. Did it bring me rest? Then it was a no. Did it bring me joy? Then it was a no. Was it movement related? (Like the joy and freedom of dancing, and how a single dance class could bring me back to more rest?) Nope, not gonna. Did it help me on my path to freedom?

Then no, nope, and no.
No, no, no.

8. Fast forward to today (because it’s so much easier to move time in writing),

Desire, rooted desire, internal desire, internal fire—
The desire to change, to lean, to get closer to home,

The home inside of the self, inside of the soul,
That content, that peace, that
Conscious swell within,
That lets the voices go and the chatter fall
Softly to the wayside—

This desire tells a story. It tells a story of you, and tells you, through words and a language of its own, the shifts and places for change and growth.

My words today are slightly different—they are peace and freedom and light and movement and joy. Using the words of right now brings you closer to your desire, to yourself, to your light.

So that desire thing?

It’s a map to your soul. To your light. To your essence. Sometimes it’s a bit buried.

It’s okay to feel.

It’s okay to be you.

It’s okay to be where you are, right now.

XO.

Desire Map is a program and a book by Danielle LaPorte that’s been one of the many tools and processes instrumental in shifting my life over the past year. It’s one of many that I’ve come back to, time and time again, as I learn to listen to my soul. The new collection comes out tomorrow, December 3, along with a day planner, a workbook, and a journal. Also: I happen to know the designer who helped bring this collection to life, and I’m madly in love with him. Enjoy.

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone: Why We Should Strive to Die Empty by Todd Henry

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

SWIM OUT TO IT

The cold water shocked my arms and sent a panic message from my limbs to my brain–and my heart.

I was set to make a big swim–a 1.5 mile arc from San Francisco’s Alcatraz Island to Ghirardelli Square, the famed Alcatraz swim. The thing is, I said I would do it naked as part of a bet. It was time to fulfill my end of the bargain.

Sliding off a boat wearing nothing and splashing into sub-sixty degree water was anything but comfortable. The shock of the cold water screamed against my skin, every neuron firing a warning sign in my brain telling me to stop. Swimming naked from Alcatraz was not a good idea. It wasn’t safe, it wasn’t easy, and it certainly wasn’t comfortable.

Pushing past your boundaries into scary, new, difficult–and certainly uncomfortable–places is one of the key rules to unleashing your potential.

I’m inside of another book this week, reading the last pages of Todd Henry’s latest book, Die Empty: Unleash Your Best Work Every Day. The book is a minefield for great ideas on building a life (and body of work) that you’re proud of. From shaping the decisions you make (and recognizing that decisions are powerful, albeit painful), to understanding why mediocrity is so rampant, to listening to your emotions and jealousy as information on areas to improve–it’s taken me a long time to read this book because each of the ideas is sifting and settling in my mind as I try to incorporate them into my life.

What does it take to get uncomfortable?

“To make a valuable contribution, you have to get uncomfortable and embrace lifelong growth and skill development.” –Todd Henry, Die Empty.

You don’t need to strip off all your clothes and jump into a freezing body of murky water to get uncomfortable–although doing so certainly helped a tribe of friends and family pull together $32,398 for charity: water. In your own life, however, getting uncomfortable is critical for growth. For stretching, building, clarifying, and growing.

In “Step Out of Your Comfort Zone,” Todd looks at what he calls “dark rooms” that we like to avoid–places its easier not to go into, because we feel safer outside.

We protect ourselves in the following ways:

  • We’re afraid of harm — and we take big steps to stay out of harm’s way, but then inadvertently miss all of the good stuff of life
  • We protect our identity — we want to “live with the illusion of invulnerability” instead of ever risking failure.
  • We love stability — and “the more there is to protect, the less people are willing to try new things.” We risk losing out on all of the future good by holding on too tightly to what’s around us. (This is why good is often the enemy of the great).
  • Our ego wants control — and so even when we’ve made poor choices, we want to stand by our ego and our decision for fear of being wrong.

Why should we bother getting uncomfortable? Because growth is messy and uncomfortable.

“Growth is painful, messy, and very uncomfortable, and occurs only when we are willing to stretch ourselves in order to accept new challenges.” — Todd Henry.

Back in the open water, the salty cold bay water bit into my mind and the chill seared my body in places that were normally protected by fabric. I was crazy to be doing this, wasn’t I?

I pushed my arms the way I’d trained for decades, and stroked to the edge of the island. I touched it, standing, nude, shivering in the early morning fog. I splashed quickly back in the water and put my face down. Great stories aren’t made sitting on the sidelines, or curling up on the couch.

It was time to swim.

Who We Are: A Profile of Readership of This Blog. (And Four Book Winners!)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Fall Pumpkins New York

You and me, we’re the magic of the internet.

Last week I sent out a survey to readers to get a better sense of this community that we’re growing here. We had nearly 200 responses to the survey, and the results are in — Here’s what we look like:

GENDER: Readers are about two thirds female and one-third male: (69% of responders marked female, 31% marked male).

AGE DISTRIBUTION: While I’ve experienced this informally through my interactions in emails and online, it was nice to see it mapped in distribution: we’re a mix of folks of all ages — from recent college grads to new parents, to second- and third-careerists, and many folks grayer and wiser than I am. Here’s the spread:

  • Under 21: 3%
  • Age 21-30: 36%
  • Age 31-40: 25%
  • Age 41-50: 18%
  • Age 51-60: 14%
  • Age 61-70: 5%
  • Over 70: 0%

Who you are and what you’re working on:

You’re working on: figuring out how to make a living doing something interesting (or rather, something that you actually like–because still so many people are living lives and working jobs that they are miserable in); how to contribute your talents to the world; discovering what those talents are; becoming a better writer or communicator; understanding self-publishing and what it means to talk online; and developing your own businesses or passion projects.

Many people are interested in learning how to live with less as well as how to focus, hone, and refine what it is they really want. You’re interested in knowing methods for de-cluttering; you aspire to simplicity in home and health, and happiness not through more stuff, but through something not yet identified.

For the post-graduates, you’re moving back home with the parents and navigating the new-job world; in the first five years or so, you’re learning, reading, and trying to figure out how to lay out plans to make the most of your 20’s and early 30’s in a combination of excitement and trepidation. Will you make the right decisions? (No, and yes!)

Nearly everyone is learning or doing something new, no matter what age. The common thread between young and old is the desire to pursue more challenging, interesting, and fulfilling (and ultimately, meaningful) projects, businesses, and lives. Whether it’s starting a new business, taking on new clients, starting a new job, or making a shift in your life: you’re talented creatives at the brink of a new endeavor, a place you find yourself in agains and again as you pick up more new projects.

The struggle with this, however, is that while you’re building something on the side, you also have the real challenge of time constraint and competing interests: you’re split between spending time on your current commitments (from your job(s), to your relationships, your debt, etc).

Burnout is a real issue, too (and one I’ll go into more on later this year and early next in some of my upcoming essays): most people are working really hard, and progress is slow at times. Balancing the need to make the change with making time for self-care is critical. How do you know when to work harder and press on (“Make it work!” says Tim Gunn)–and when to yield, slow, rest, and make space?

What’s holding you back:

What holds you back is complicated–for some it’s self-doubt, low self-esteem, stress, and anxiety. It’s the inside voice, the learned voice, or the narratives of our childhoods that we’ve carried into the present. These psychological hang-ups are real, because they are ours and wind their way through everything we do.

For others, it’s simply too many things: too many conflicting demands, too many projects, too much stuff (literally), and not enough time. For us, it’s about re-learning the power of no, setting boundaries, and clearing out clutter. It’s about making choices that enable freedom–not choices that continue to restrict us.

And for others, it’s the business challenges that are holding us back: we have great ideas, but the first iteration isn’t quite there yet. You can’t find the right clients. You’re not sure how to sell. A whole host of people talked about finding the right clients, connecting with the right people, knowing how to offer and price your services, and discovering how to market yourself and your abilities in the changing work and freelance landscape.

What you want more of (how I can be most helpful):

I’ll have to admit, I was having a bit of a day when I went to my google drive and opened up the survey responses (you know, one of those days when everything breaks, you spill tea across your lap, the recording fails). The fact that 200 people responded blew me away — heart flutters, seriously. I hope you know that YOU ARE WONDERFUL. The responses ranged from silly to tearful to just plain inspiring:

Beyond the threads above–the practical, the tactical, the psychological; people said time and time again that the philosophical undertones and the life lessons really caught their attention. Slow, considerate thoughtfulness and questions about meaning, value, and deeper purpose resonated with most of you across the internet and are a core shared interest in this community.

(And for the person who said I should be elected as a public representative so I can offer a platform of support and encouragement… I do like this idea. Perhaps we’ll build it! Together…)

Upcoming: micro-workshops for freedom, gratitude, and inspiration.

I’m working on a few micro-workshops (two weeks) coming up that will be shorter and more affordable starting later this year. Based both on the overwhelming feedback from the survey responses as well as my one-on-one interactions with folks from Pay What You Can Days and in the Writer’s Workshop, I’m designing a module that will be affordable, sweet, and a beautiful community kick-start into topical themes.

The micro-workshops will be specifically designed for folks who want to up the ante on positivity, encouragement, growth, getting started, and motivation; a digital treats of two weeks around specific topics. The first will be coming out in early December, and the next in January. Mark your calendars and get excited about joining us…

And the book winners!

And the book winners! I’m contacting you by email… because so many responses came in, I’m giving away FOUR copies of the books, not two. This time, folks are winning Money: A Love Story by Kate Northrup, and Die Empty, by Todd Henry.

And because it’s the season of pumpkins (my favorite–possibly because it’s the month of my birthday), followed by a season of gratitude and thanks (also my favorite! Okay fine, I just like holidays and celebrating!) I’ll have a few more books to giveaway in the near future, as well, including a copy of Scott Berkun’s latest book, The Year Without Pants, and Mike Rohde’s book, The Sketchnote Handbook.

And as for my book, by and large the responses leaned towards “Do Something” AND “Manipulate the Monkey Brain,” both tied for first. Apparently “getting started” was less liked. Thanks for the feedback.

Now, to get back to writing that book proposal…

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Find Your Creative Flow, A Chat With Barrett Brooks & Living For Monday, and My Favorite Fall Books

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Bicycles, Sidewalks, and Sepia--Philadelphia 2011.

A big welcome to all the new faces and readers who have found me through the Thought Catalog essays, Scoutie Girl, and my recent interview with Barrett Brooks on the Living for Monday Show! It’s been a busy week behind the scenes over here, and consequently there are a LOT of new faces to this website. Feel free to poke around, check out the best-of collection, send me a note, or sign up for the latest posts by email. Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to welcoming you to the community!

Welcome Back to Fall.

Something about the upcoming change of seasons makes me want to curl up in an easy chair, sit under the window, pick up a good book and read for hours. The hint of long summer days drifting into Fall is starting to appear; my daylight hours wane sooner each evening, and the breeze that comes in through the window is better than any air-conditioning unit could ever dream of being. I want to turn on a warm light and curl up in my easy chair during the evening hours just to read and learn. Luckily there are stacks and stacks of delicious new books–and podcasts, and posts–about to hit the shelves, as well as a few that I’ve been wanting to read all summer. Here’s a round-up of my favorite books and the things I’m looking forward to reading, listening to, and a few of the places I’ve been writing and publishing as well.

Facing your fears, taking a leap, and seizing your potential:

What would your life look like if you looking forward to Monday, rather than dreading it? Last week, I got to be a guest on the Living For Monday show with Barrett Brooks, where we talked about taking a leap and facing your fears. The mission behind the show is to change the way the world thinks of work–and get people excited about Monday, instead of dreading it. In the episode, we talked about how to land projects as a freelancer or entrepreneur, what solo-preneurship looks like, and some of the pivotal moments that influenced my decisions to date. Here’s a quick excerpt:

“How do you get the kind of projects you want to work on? How do you make beautiful work in the world? — I think it’s all about showing up, and showing up “one sentence at a time.” Start small, don’t get overwhelmed, and make sure you do at least one sentence or one part of the project. Break each project down into a piece at a time–and do something small, and do it every day. Over time, this makes it possible for people to find you, and for you to improve the project, and to get where you’re trying to go. Something is better than nothing. Starting is incredibly important.”

We talk about the opportunities that come from blogging, about making online work, and about the projects we’re both ramping up this Fall–check out the rest of the interview here.

Ever feel stuck in your creative projects? Here are 17 tips for getting un-stuck and getting back into your writer’s flow.

While procrastination and distraction are two of the biggest weapons against making your art, the third hurdle to jump is often the problem of getting stuck. When you’re stuck, you can’t find the right words, time passes endlessly, and you wish fervently for that flow — that moment when words come quickly, your thoughts spill out, and you’re itching to write more. What do you do to get back in creative flow and get un-stuck? My latest essay is over on Scoutie Girl with 17 ways to get un-stuck and get back into your creative flow. Huge thanks to Tara Gentile and Carrie Keplinger for having me there!

The Fall Reading List: my favorite reads and can’t-wait-to-read-them books on my shelves this month:

Enough about me! I can’t wait to read the words of the following incredible authors. Here are some of the many books coming out this fall that I can’t wait to read (and that I may have already pre-ordered on Amazon). I’m a bit like a kid in a candy shop, except the candy shop is my front door and my drug of choice are new shiny books that come in padded yellow envelopes.

Money: A Love Story, by Kate Northrup. The relationship you have with money is easily one of the most important relationships you have–and it’s not one that you should neglect. Kate’s powerful writing (which is quickly becoming one of my favorite online resources) talks about the spirituality and philosophy behind money, and how money (and debt) make you feel. Can’t wait to dive into this one when it’s out in just a few days (September 10, 2013).

The Small Business Lifecycle: A Guide to Taking the Right Steps at the Right Time. By Charlie Gilkey. I just finished this book–and it’s short, sweet, and to-the-point. Simple writing is sometimes deceptive in how easy it is to read and understand. Charlie has distilled critical components of business life cycles and put them into four stages that correspond to Martha Beck’s teachings in Finding Your Own North Star. The book is brilliant; it couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I’m diving deeper into the world of small business and entrepreneurship.

Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself, by Lissa Rankin. Lissa’s powerful TEDx Talks and her message — that health care needs healing, and that you have more of the power to heal yourself than you think — has resonated widely across the world. This woman is an incredible asset to the medical (and healing) community and bridges Eastern and Western schools of thought by promoting a blended approach, rather than an either-or. Psychology, philosophy, medicine and health all rolled into one book.

The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte. “A multimedia guide to what you want the most.” I first read this book last Spring and put the book down, in tears, because I was overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts and ideas. It was a crucial moment for me, and I’m back into the book this Fall as a guidepost for understanding, mapping, and creating what I want in this journey. The book will be in it’s second release this December.

The Fear Project, by Jaimal Yogis. I keep holding each new book I read up to the standards of this book–easily one of the best books I’ve read all summer, if not of all time. Yogis is able to captivate audiences through lyrical, narrative non-fiction that’s persuasive and quick to read, while still filled with rich insights and concepts. The book looks at fear, our relationship to fear, and how to overcome fear to reach our full potential.

Die Empty: Unleash Your Best Work Everyday, by Todd Henry. “Embrace the importance of now, and refuse to allow the lull of comfort, fear, familiarity, and ego to prevent you from taking action on your ambitions…The cost of inaction is vast. Don’t go to your grave with your best work inside of you. Choose to die empty.” Todd embraces and captures the mantras that are so essential to my life that this book is likely to become one of my new classics. I haven’t held the book yet (it’s out September 26), but I do have a story in one of the chapters and I cannot WAIT to read this book.

The Suitcase Entrepreneur: Create Freedom in Business and Adventure in Life, by Natalie Sisson. I met Natalie at the inaugural World Domination in 2011, where we shared laughs and teamed together in Pam Slim’s content-building workshop. I wowed her with my sketches; she wowed me with her ambitions and her travel-the-world lifestyle. In her recently released book, she maps the steps to creating a business you love while hitting the road–and gaining freedom along the way. I can’t wait to dive into it! It’s in my “read this next!” pile.

The Longest Way Home: One Man’s Quest for the Courage to Settle Down, by Andrew McCarthy. An absorbing, can’t-put-it-down narrative that reads like fiction as we follow the travels and adventures of a man who can’t stay in one place. From Baltimore to Vienna to Kilimanjaro, McCarthy, a National Geographic Travel writer, kept me captivated with his words and journeys–and made me consider the implications (and drawbacks) of full-time travel and its parallels (and conflicts) with home, life, and creating a family.  

When Thing Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron. A classic, and an incredible reminder that arrival and closure are the last things we’ll likely get in our lives. Now is the moment, here is the time, and what you’re going through is the perfect teacher. Zen, spiritual, and philosophical, she’s a beloved writer by Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. As Publisher’s Weekly writes, “Chodron’s book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, including fear, despair, rage and the feeling that we are not in control of our lives.”

Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman. Kahneman’s book was the winner of the National Academy of Sciences Best Book Award in 2012–and this book is an exploration of how thoughts (and thinking) are influenced and how we think in two different ways (System 1 and System 2). Psychology, thinking, memory and thought are investigated in this behind-the-scenes look at what’s actually going on inside our heads. As the New York Times writes: “It is an astonishingly rich book: lucid, profound, full of intellectual surprises and self-help value. It is consistently entertaining and frequently touching.”

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, by John J. Ratey. Movement is the number one thing we can do to reduce stress (and increase intelligence), yet we’re still unbelievably prone to sit still for hours on end and forget to use our human bodies. The science of exercise and the brain fascinates me, and in this book, Ratey details how breaking a sweat and elevating your heart rate helps lift your mood, fight memory loss, sharpen your intellect, and function better. Exercise isn’t an afterthought–it needs to be essential, and should be part of our processes of work, creation, learning, and life.

And so many more… The above is just a sampler of some of my favorites, and there are many, many more. I’m also looking forward to Scott Berkun’s forthcoming book, The Year Without Pants, and Pamela Slim’s book, Body of Work, both of which aren’t yet released (but I’m eyeing their websites to learn when the official release date is announced).

What are your favorite reads? What are you excited about getting into? Leave a note in the comments and I’ll add it to the list!

Love reading? Love writing? Join us in the Fall Writer’s Workshop, which starts in 10 days!

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Morning and Evening Meditations and Reflections: Two Books I Love Opening, Any Time, Any Page

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

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What are you filling your mind with? What are you musing upon, reflecting on, what things are you considering today?

Sometimes when I get wrapped up in the throes of launching a new project, or just simply taking on too many projects, I don’t quite find I have enough time to sit leisurely and read an entire book. (This is something that I’d love to change, of course–but all in good time).

Lately I’ve started the habit of keeping two books by my bed that I love and opening them up to a random page to read as meditations before bed. No matter how busy the day, or how late I work, I don’t want to go to bed dreaming of work emails and screens and just re-playing the scenes of the day. And rather than beat myself up for not having time to read an entire book, I like to find books that are easy to just read a page or two of; something that will help me get into a sleep mindset.

There’s also importance in being careful what you “feed” yourself before bed, or what you put into your brain. I’ve noticed on the nights I stay up late watching trashy reality television, sometimes these characters will permeate my dreams, and I find myself ruminating obsessively in my dreams over details on the latest bachelorette episode (and I can’t stand to think that I spent my night considering this)–so I’m opting for a new strategy. Instead, I’ve started feeding myself these two favorites–just a page at a time:

A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…”

“Achievement doesn’t come from what we do, but from who we are. Our worldly power results from our personal power. Our career is an extension of our personality.”

“The universe will always support our integrity.”

“Having money means we have more money with which to employ other people and heal the world.”

Reflections on the Art of Living, A Joseph Campbell Companion

Selected and Edited by Diane K. Osbon

“The privilege of a lifetime is being you who are. The goal of the hero trip down to the jewel point is to find those levels in the psyche that open, open, open and finally open to the mystery of your Self being Buddha consciousness or the Christ. That’s the journey.”

“Fear of your power is what commits you to the lower system.”

“Ritual introduces you to the meaning of what’s going on.”

What do you read to put in your mind? Or rather, what are you currently filling your mind with? I love books for reflection, contemplation, ritual, and meditation–so if you have a recommendation, let me know!

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Stop With The Bull Shit: Calling BS On “Corporate,” Life, Relationships, Careers — Shane Mac

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I met Shane Mac two years ago via Twitter, when serendipitously we both remarked on the strange olfactory sensations of shopping malls (we commented wryly about the stench pouring from Abercrombie and Fitch stores)–and followed it up with a beer (maybe several beers, in fact) in San Francisco. He was one of my first twitter-to-real-life friends, and I’ve followed his work at Gist, Zaarly and other places with admiration and respect. Continue reading “Stop With The Bull Shit: Calling BS On “Corporate,” Life, Relationships, Careers — Shane Mac”

Reading List 2012: On Family, Parenting, Leaping, Daring, and the Future

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

As you know, I love reading. I love everything about books, learning, curling up with coffee and a new book, discovering ideas and curating conversations. Here’s a list of what I’ve been learning from this past week–as well as the books I’ve recently read or am nearly done with from the last month or two. Since I started taking the bus more regularly to work (I no longer have my car, by the way–more updates on that later)–I’ve had a lot more time to read and I love it.

I’m doing a lot of this as research for a couple of upcoming events: I’m hosting a Walk + Talk with Sandbox tomorrow (Sunday) in San Francisco, for which many of these readings are a starting point. (If you’re in town and you’re curious what it is, email me.) On Wednesday, November 14th, I’m teaching a Storytelling and Narrative workshop in San Francisco with General Assembly.

And speaking of books! Stay tuned on Tuesday, because we’re launching the book I’ve been designing and I’ll have excerpts and all of the digital and physical book details! (I designed the book, and it’s fun to watch this project come to life–I am SO EXCITED to share it with you). But for now: back to reading.

Here are books I’ve been reading in the last two months. I highly recommend ALL of these: 

Bringing up Bebe, by Pamela Druckerman. An American woman raises her children in Paris, and what this teaches her about cultural differences in child-rearing, parenting, and more. Fascinating cultural study and insights into the psychological beliefs about humans and how they operate. I loved it.

Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. I’m about a third of the way through this book and she’s already made me cry, several times. Our biggest fear is that we’ll be ordinary; we’re afraid that we won’t matter; we’re ashamed that we’re not living up to our greatness. This culture of shame–and scarcity–is a widespread problem, and until we learn how to be vulnerable and okay with the less-than-desirable emotions, our capacity for love, wonder, and greatness will also be hampered. I love this book.

Happier At Home, by Gretchen Rubin. I LOVE GRETCHEN RUBIN. I can’t describe it. The way she writes–and her authenticity about what she likes and doesn’t like, her quirks, and her own personal love affair with good literature, books and philosophy caused me to sit on my couch for three hours on a Friday night and read this book, out loud, over the telephone to other people. Yes. Love it. Her affinity for numbered lists and children’s books, her advice to “abandon a project,” and her counter-intuitive advice that possessions aren’t always the devil (some possessions remind you of experiences or enable you to have experiences, for example), lands well in my current itch to make my home more of a “Home,” and to study what makes me happy, even while dancing across the world and moving from city to city.

I Live In The Future And Here’s How It Works, by Nick Bilton. A quirky, eccentric Brooklynite who seems to know everything Apple and Tech, I love his analysis and presentation of the way the world is shifting and how our our communications media (internet, twitter, the fact that we all have computers in our pocket) are changing the world permanently and also changing our minds, behaviors, and interactions as well. If you don’t understand or haven’t heard of the relationship of the digital shift to the previous disruptive effects of the printing press, read this.

Here Comes Everybody,  by Clay Shirky. Along the same lines as Bilton’s book, but from 2008–he tells us how the organizational and instantaneous abilities of digital connectivity allow us to have much more radical transparency and power of assembly, as with the recent Church scandals, and how this organizational change is disruptive in massively good ways (but still highly disruptive.) Incredibly highly recommended. Clay Shirky tops my list of favorite authors.

The Guide To The Good Life, by William B Irving, on Stoic Philosophy. I’d actually never heard of Stoicism before, and it often gets a bad rap because the word “stoic” is associated with “not feeling or showing emotions,” which is not exactly what the philosophy is about. Have you ever read a book that feels like someone took ideas in your brain and put them into a clear structure? Much of my life is lived in line with many Stoic ideas–so hearing about them, and confirming the ideals, has been a transformative experience. From practicing negative visualization (the idea that we should sometimes imagine what it would be like to lose what we have, in order to better enjoy it in the present), to giving up dreams for wealth or fame, to learning how to delight in every single moment and marvel at the present, as it unfolds around us –this book is a beautiful anecdote (if not a lot more) to the current cultural and societal norms surrounding us. It also taught me a lot about the history of Philosophy and early philosophers.

The Impact Equation, by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. “Trust Agents,” their earlier co-authored book, was one of my favorite books when I started blogging and realizing how to create and leverage relationships and influence (in a good way) through online interaction. This book pushes to the next step, teaching people how to use their platforms for high impact and also how to stop making noise in a world that’s getting increasingly noisier. I’m only a couple of chapter in, but I’ll finish it very soon.

READING: “Weekend Edition” –or, the start to an endless number of conversations. 

Is the creative industry a death trap? Are we doing work that matters? What does it mean to be Pro-Life? What were we fighting for in this election? Is freedom really free? Is fairness free? What is equality? Should the government’s role be to give us freedoms (“freedom to”) or to protect us from harm (“freedom from”)? What does it mean to live in cities? Is our world moving towards an increasingly rural-urban demographic shift? What can you do with your own two feet to affect climate change? Does the internet make us lie more–or less? Why does the arc of the moral universe bend towards justice? Is disagreement good? And what are we fighting for afterall?  Continue reading “Reading List 2012: On Family, Parenting, Leaping, Daring, and the Future”

Reinvention Isn’t Easy, But It Is Necessary: 22 Thoughts from Julien Smith

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

It’s November, the season of gratitude–one of my favorite seasons. In the spirit of gratefulness, thanks, and learning, I’ll be giving away prizes with almost every single post all throughout November. Some of the things I have to give away include a copy of Chris Brogan and Julien Smith’s new book, “The Impact Equation,” copies of “I’m Fine, Thanks,“ (the documentary by Crank Tank Studios), a digital copy of Do Something, and a copy of the upcoming book by Shane Mac, Stop With The BS. If you haven’t yet, make sure you sign-up to be notified of new posts by email so you can win all of these goodies: there are a lot of giveaways this month!

Today’s thoughts come from a powerful presentation by Julien Smith at last months’ Powder Keg conference in Indianapolis, Indiana–and a chance to win a copy of his latest book, The Impact Equation. 

Reminders.

“If we don’t cannibalize ourselves, someone else will.”
(Steve Jobs)

Why did Apple make the iPhone? Continue reading “Reinvention Isn’t Easy, But It Is Necessary: 22 Thoughts from Julien Smith”

Book Giveaway: Too Many Books, and Too Many Projects! (Plus I Need Your Help)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Books are flying off the shelves and landing on my desk, and for the first time in a long time, I can’t read or write fast enough. I also have WAY too many projects on my plate, and I can’t do them all.

So, I think I need your help.  I have no idea where to start and I realized — a midst the stress and panic of not being able to do it all — why not ask all of you?  I’d love your help and feedback about what to read next, and also, what to do next.

In short: what should I focus my energy on?

In exchange for your help, I happen to have extra copies of three different books in this post — so I can give them away to you! If you want to win a free copy of either The $100 StartUp by Chris Guillebeau, The Work Revolution by Julie Clow, or Whoever Tells The Best Story Wins by Annette Simmons, I’ll be giving them away to three readers (More details below). 

First, the books!

Here’s a list of the books I have in front of me, many of which I’d like to review on this blog.

Ask the readers: Which book should I review first? 

  • The $100 Start Up — by Chris Guillebeau launched May 8th, and Chris is on his multi-city book tour at the moment–join us in San Francisco on May 29th! As Pam Slim wrote in her review, the book “delivers exactly what a new entrepreneur needs: road-tested, effective and exceptionally pragmatic advice for starting a new business on a shoestring.”
  • The Fire Starter Sessions — Danielle LaPorte’s recently released book based on her hit digital series–a brilliant mastermind that gets behind who you are to figure out where your power is.
  • Get Lucky – the precursor to their kickstarter campaign (tagline: “Go Luck Yourself”), Becker and Muller co-authored the book, “Get Lucky: How To Put Planned Serendipity to Work for You and Your Business.” Can’t wait to read it.
  • Imagine: How Creativity Works — by Jonah Lehrer. One of my favorite authors, Lehrer looks at the psychology and strangeness of why we do what we do–and how to embrace our processes to get better at what we do. I’m so excited to read this book!
  • Whoever Tells The Best Story Wins — by Annette Simmons. From the description: “Story telling is a powerful communications tool that is becoming more and more recognized in the business community. These stories are not the usual speech openers or ice breakers, but stories that will influence others to trust the storyteller and shape decisions and actions that are important to both individuals and organizations.”
  • Overconnected: The Promise and Threat of the Internet – by William Davidow. What are the luxuries and pitfalls of the connected age? And, are smartphones and mobile internets making us smarter–or dumber?
  • The Work Revolution – by Julie Clow.  The premise: “The Work Revolution is about changing the way the world sees work. By making simple changes to improve our relationships with work and each other, we can systematically ignite a work revolution everywhere.”

Next, I need some help figuring out my next project.

In figuring out what to do next, I often go on long walks to figure out which step is the right next step, and what sits well in my heart for me. Fortunately or unfortunately, all of the projects below seem intriguing, exciting, and worth chasing. The problem is I can’t chase them all at the same time. (Darn it!). I can only work on one or two side projects at time and stay sane enough with writing and work. Like it or not, I need sleep and rest to remain sane. So I thought I’d pull a quick “ask the audience” and ask for your help in this decision-making process.

Question 2: Which of the projects below sounds the most interesting to you? 

  • Do Something.  The presentation I did over the holidays has over 90,000 views. I’d like to make a physical book out of it, per a few requests. Would you be interested in a hard copy of the notebook as inspiration?
  • Beautiful Email. I have a collection of tagged emails that look at the art of introductions, blind (“cold”) emails, pen pal letters, short targets, and designing user responses. I’m thinking of curating them into a PDF template of communications via email.
  • Email Ninja: A ten-part email template with specific tips for how to get better at email and get what you want from other people!
  • Moving Through Water: Swimming Book. I’m about halfway done with a book about swimming, and I want to finish it this summer. Should I start with this project?
  • Get Writing: 30 Day Writing Prompts (for new bloggers): I have a collection of prompts and ideas for people who want to start their own blog. I’d like to turn this into a 30-day email series to help people start writing their own blogs, with cues, tips & to-dos for each day to get you from zero to blogging.
  • Manipulate the Monkey Brain: Book Proposal. I’m working on a book proposal that looks at the psychology behind how and why we do what we do — and how we can pattern disrupt our own selves to create better habits that break down the barriers to action, helping us re-think and re-wire our own minds.
  • Stories from Cities — Urban Patterns: This is a second book proposal that I’m working on with a colleague. It’s still in flux, but it would look at six major urban environments (cities) across American and tell case study stories of urbanism throughout the American landscape.
  • In and Out of Buildings: Photo Project. I’d like to develop a website that looks at the patterns and shapes of buildings and how people–and things–move in and out of them. This would be a joint project with a few other designers I know.
It’s fully possible that I will do ALL of the projects, above. As you can probably tell, though, I can’t possible do them all right now, as much as I’d like to. So please tell me what you think! Where do you think I should start?

Here’s how you can help: Help me out by voting here: it’s a very short survey asking what book I should review, what project I should do, and of course, which book you’d like to win.

Now, about winning those free books. Here’s how you do it:

  1. Answer the survey before Thursday, May 17th at Midnight Pacific Standard Time. Tell me what book you think I should review and which project I should start.
  2. Tell me which book you would most like to win (and leave a note in the comments about why!).
  3. I’ll pick 3 winners at random on Friday, May 18th and send your books your way.

Thank you!

 

Best of books 2011: For every entrepreneur and intra-praneur

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

“If you stop learning, you are obsolete.”

Entrepreneurs and intra-preneurs learn like crazy. (If you don’t know what an intra-preneur is, check out this list of business terms). An intra-preneur is changing the game in his or her current company by breaking the rules, building new programs, and becoming indispensible within their company. An entrepreneur is building something new (often with limited resources) within or beyond the current system: a new company, a new way of communicating, a new way to organize people or things and space.

They learn by testing, iterating, observation, and becoming a sponge for knowledge. We soak in knowledge about our given fields of expertise, and we expand our skillsets by learning about correlating fields that complement and reflect our given fields, and we strive to be better in the specific areas within and related to our business.

Last year I read a book a week, which worked (on average) although I didn’t always make it each week. (More often than not, I found time to read on planes…) Here’s my hit list for my favorites from the past year–a list of 50 of the best books I’ve read in the last year. If you only have time to read three, start with The Social Animal, The Essential Drucker, and (well, this is hard to pick only three) … Trust Agents. Those are the standouts for me this year.

Here are more than 50 great books for the next year, which include some of my all-time favorites from the past year. Consider this your “syllabus” for the next year, if you’re committed to learning and growing. In many cases, notes are included, categorized by my areas of interest.Please note: I’ve purchased, read, marked-up and loved each of these books, below, and they occupy space on my bookshelves near and dear to my heart. I’ve linked to them directly to Amazon–which gives me a bit of money for referring my favorites if you decide to buy it (but by no means enough to quit my day job!)–and I also review some of these books in depth on this blog, so you could skip straight to the summaries if you wanted to. Regardless, that’s the “behind the scenes” bits I have to tell you in my acts of curation.

If you know of some great ones I should check out, please leave a note in the comments. Enjoy!

“Learn like it’s your job, your passion, your food, and your fuel. Learning is a necessity. Crave it.”

Marketing & Advertising

  • Tested Advertising Methods, by Prentice Hall Business Classics. A primer on all things copywriting and advertising.
  • Positioning: The Battle For Your Mind, by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Considered the father of advertising and a guru of branding, marketing and product management, Trout brings together elements of psychology and user experience to show how to describe things to the people that matter to your business–your customers. It’s not how you understand what you do; it’s how well you explain it to others, in a way that stands out.
  • Oglivy on Advertising. One of the premier advertising and sales books of all times. Oglivy is a genius. “Ogilvy’s writing is captivating. His work, legendary. His ideas, timeless.” I’ve only begun to dig into the genius in this book, and fully expect to have it dog-eared, flagged, marked, highlighted, and re-read multiple times over.

Information, Communication, Curation & Media

  • Trust Agents, by Julien Smith and Chris Brogan. Destined to be a classic. How do people become online influencers? They do more than provide content: they establish valuable relationships, reputations, and utilize media to build trust relationships as leaders and agents in an increasingly interconnected, complex world.
  • Information Anxiety 1 and Information Anxiety 2, both by Richard Saul Wurman, founder of the TED Conferences and author of 80+ books. For excerpts, check out this article. Issue 1 is out of print,  but can be purchased used. Hat tip to Lauren Manning for pointing me to these books.

Design

  • In The Bubble: Designing in a Complex World. “We’re filling up the world with technology and devices, but we’ve lost sight of an important question: What is this stuff for? What value does it add to our lives?” This is the premise of John Thackara’s book. The book is all text and theory, about design but not visual in and of itself. Main thesis? That we’re regaining respect for the abilities that people have–by becoming increasingly aware of what technology still can’t do.
  • Bruce Mao: Massive Change. One of the most visually-stunning, eye-candy laden books about the new inventions and technologies affecting the human race. A collection of stimulating essays and questions about how the world operates–and what designers and planners alike are doing about it.
  • How to Think Like Great Graphic Designer, by Debbie Millman. A series of wonderful, thought-provoking, and deliciously accessible interviews with some of the 20th and 21st century’s leading thinkers and designers. Highlighted all over, particularly the interview with Milton Glaser.
  • Thinking with Type, Edition 2, by Ellen Lupton. One of my favorite books on typography, layout and style. Most font and style books don’t give enough visual examples labeled and annotated to truly teach; this book is a definitive overview and beautiful guide to using typography, layout, and white space in print (and web) design.
  • Information Architecture, by Christina Wodtke. The illustrations can be a bit kitchy at times, but the content and organization is great. A good overview of how information flow, diagramming, and understanding sequences chains is pertinent before starting major projects or designs.
  • The Visual Miscellaneum. One of my favorite books to pick up with countless illustrations, diagrams, and information–visualized. Understanding how to show the story of data, and make information meaningful, is an arduous task. This is a collection of hundreds of beautiful examples. No more designers’ block!

Business & Entrepreneurship

  • Start With Why, by Simon Sinek. A review of some of the most innovative, influential people and organizations in the world. Start by building a foundation and culture that answers “Why” before you ask “What” or “How.”
  • The Personal MBA, by Josh Kaufmann. A $15 book in exchange for a $150,000 education? Seems like a no-brainer. A relevant resource that I consult repeatedly. How to build value, what a USP is, how to work well by yourself and with others, and fundamentals of starting your own business.
  • The Accidental Entrepreneur, by Susan-Urquhart Brown. A shorter read, and less in-depth than Kaufmann’s book, but still filled with valuable information and great advice for anyone starting out. Covers fundamentals of marketing, creating a business plan, and traits of successful entrepreneurs.
  • ReWork, by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson. In an earlier post, “Thirteen outstanding business ideas from ReWork,” I cover the tips about the book in more detail. Read it. It’s short, straight-forward, and outstanding.
  • Enchantment
  • Change by Design, by Tim Brown of Ideo. Theories about design-thinking and innovation: how good ideas happen, and the processes and rigors behind developing great ideas.
  • End Malaria, edited by Michael Bungay Stanier. “62 Business thinkers pushing you to rethink the way you work.” Ignore the title, albeit good; it’s deceiving. This is a book of essays by some of the most brilliant across industries. Listen to them.

Management & Leadership

  • The Essential Drucker – The Best Sixty Years of Peter Drucker’s Essential Writings on Management. Considered the father of modern management, this book shifted how I think about the role of leadership and managing teams. Can’t put it down.
  • Confessions of a Public Speaker, by Scott Berkun. Funny as hell, and likeable. Sound advice through good stories.

Organization & Effectiveness

  • Getting Things Done, by David Allen. I don’t subscribe to all tactics GTD, but it did change how I thought about 2-minute tasks and the limitations of the human brain: we aren’t wired for as much as we think we are. Figure out how to override your shortcomings and really find systems that work.
  • Making Ideas Happen, by Scott Belksy and the founder of Behance. The system is different than GTD (focused on the action method), but another good way of re-configuring how you do your best work.
  • Life After College, by Jenny Blake. Crowd-sourced tips on being awesome, figuring shit out, and getting beyond the craziness of life in your early twenties. Check out the full-length review here, with references to Jenny’s super-human powers, wonder-woman outfits, and killer heels.
  • The Accidental Creative, by Todd Henry. Strategies for becoming a creative, even if you feel like you aren’t one. Don’t think you need this? Todd argues that we all are creatives now–it’s no longer enough just do do your job.
  • The Four-Hour Work Week, by Tim Ferriss. I was skeptical of this at first, given that the man spent 15+ years testing and tweaking strategies obsessively all in the name of being able to eventually work 4-hours per week; but if you want to learn how to game the system, watch a man who does it well. (I suppose my ire is more suited towards the wannabes that followed who promised lifestyle design success–without any of the core research to back it up.)
  • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. Another mind-blowing organization and strategy book. My favorite premise is that the highest form of being is interdependence, and not independence or dependence. We need more thinking like this, particularly in our image-centric, ego-centric, independent entrepreneurial world. We definitely do not do any of it alone.

Psychology

  • How We Decide, by Jonah Lehrer. One of my favorite psychology writers of all time; constantly reveals how our brains work and what’s going on inside our strange heads.
  • Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert Cialdini. “Influence is a science.” It’s not magic; and Cialdini outlines six principles for how people relate to each other, socially, and why tools like reciprocity, scarcity, and liking affect how we interact with each other. And it’s fun to read.
  • Made to Stick, Chip Heath and Dan Heath. All about making ideas sticky, and the psychology of how we remember things.
  • Predictably Irrational, by Dan Riley. The peculiarities of being human, and how and why we repeatedly behave weirdly.
  • The Elements of Persuasion, by Richard Maxwell and Robert Dickman. Master storytelling will get you further in persuading people – effectively getting them to do what you want. And in work and life, don’t you want to get what you want?
  • The Social Animal, by David Brooks. Possibly–actually–my favorite book out of this entire list. A story that reads like fiction, Brooks reveals thousands of interesting insights about the human condition, all through the lens of a pair of people growing up, falling in love, and growing apart (and together again) over time. The unconscious mind is phenomenal.
  • The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss. I’m not sure if this is a true story or not, but as a woman living in a city, this certainly opened my eyes to the games being played all around us.
  • Traffic, by Tom Vanderbilt. The subtitle, “why we drive the way we do – and what that says about us,” tells us that it’s more about our quirks as humans than about the fact that we’ve gone and made entirely awful-yet-awesome transportation systems designed around 10,000 pound steel structures. Good read, but not mind-blowing. Full review here.

Inspiration & Motivation

  • Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott. A book on writing and life, and all the zany-crazy-personality quirks in between. Fluttering between self-deprecation and frank honesty, Lamott tells the story of the difficulty of writing and getting out of our own way. Humorous at times and painful at others, I have owned this book for more than 10 years and refer to it readily whenever I experience my own writers’ block.
  • Swimming to Antarctica, by Lynne Cox, one of the greatest open-water swimmers there ever was.
  • Do The Work, by Stephen Pressfield. Also going to add in his other one, “The War Of Art” — both are brilliant ass-kickers to doing the work and actually getting out of your own way to do something.
  • The Flinch, by Julien Smith. How and why to lean into discomfort, pain, and discipline: it’s not about being comfortable. It’s about getting comfortable being uncomfortable, and doing the painful or scary things. Without flinching.

Money

  • The Millionaire Next Door, by Thomas Stanley and William Danko. Frank and reasonable sense about how ordinary-looking people with small-to-modest homes become millionaires by accumulation, not spending. A good reminder for me personally to worry less about “things” and “stuff” and focus on what matters (and what’s within my means).
  • Naked Economics, by Charles Wheelan. One of the first books that made economics make sense to me. Described the ins and outs of inflation, capital markets and finance to me. To be fair, I read this book for the first time a few years’ back and went back through it again this year, because it makes economics fascinating and interesting–and I got a bit out of the book the second time around, as well.
  • I Will Teach You To Be Rich, by Ramit Sethi. The full review, “$10 for a financial wizard” covers my thoughts in detail. Worth the read for it’s psychological understanding of how we actually behave around and with money, and the idiotic things we say we’ll do, but never actually end up doing.

All-Around Favorites

  • What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, by Haruki Murakami (and almost anything and everything by Haruki Murakami!). Essays from running, writing, and doing both over time. Beautiful.
  • Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall. Just don’t buy vibrams and start running half marathons straight away. Then you’re an idiot.
  • To Have and Have Not. Ernest Hemingway. Classic.
  • The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman. What would become of the world without humans? How would cities fall and crumble, how would the ecology of place change, what would rust and tumble?
  • Ender’s Game. Have read and re-read probably ten or more times.
  • The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini. Depressing, by all means, but I stayed up until 5 AM just to finish this book.
  • Last Child In The Woods, by Richard Louv. Reviewed over here, and one of the reasons why I love my job(s).

Know of any more great books? Leave notes in the comments!