Category: Connection

Start Sooner: How One Conference Kickstarted My Blog, My Business, and My Freedom

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Want to win a free ticket to an amazing conference this June 23-35? Read to the end—details on how to win a ticket to the conference are below. Make sure you enter before June 5, 2017.

It was 2011, and I was living in San Francisco.

I worked my day job as a landscape architect working long hours at a big firm in Sausalito, and had night jobs as a high school tutor and weekend swim coach. I spent time writing my blog in the wee mornings.

I’d heard of a book and blog about living an unconventional life by a blogger who was pretty famous. Chris Guillebea talked about how much more there was to the design of our lives, and how we could make things happen in completely different ways than the world was telling us.

Minimalism, travel hacking, freedom. I was hooked.

I signed up with some big dollars to go to the conference — $499 was no joke on the salary I was pulling in. Friends from the internet and friends in real-life piled into a car. (Did I drive or fly?).

On a whim, I decided to put my own blog together more seriously. All those doubts that plague you? I had them: who was I to write? What did I have to say? But I stayed up late hacking together a WordPress site with zero knowledge for how to do it (Google to the rescue!), transferred all my best blog posts to the site, and printed out some personal business cards. Made my way to Portland for my first big conference.

I showed up to the conference knowing exactly no one.

But I showed up.

I stood outside by myself, willing. Open. Waiting. Nervous as all get out.

And then a two-year-old ran up to me and threw her arms up and I laughed and threw my arms out. Suddenly Adam Baker, Courtney Baker, and Laura Roeder and I were giggling and running around on the grass in a big line of people waiting for the conference to begin.

I relaxed, dropped my shoulders back, and started saying hi to new faces. I met Pam Slim, Scott Dinsmore, Leo Babauta, and Danielle LaPorte for the first time. I didn’t even know to be intimidated because it was all so new to me.

By the end of the conference, I’d had a macaroni and cheese date, driven around in a Volvo with too many other people, stayed out late making mischief in Portland, done yoga in the park with new friends, enjoyed hammock time, listened with wonder at people’s stories, and met people I’ve been in touch with ever since.

And I wrote up recaps for each day of the conference with those same wide eyes. (Here are the Day 1, Day 2, and Day 3 recaps!)

That conference was the weekend my blog became a reality.

And my work took a new turn.

More than any course, metric, skill, or tactic, the people you surround yourself will make the biggest difference in your life and career.

Conferences can be transformative experiences. When you bring people together in one place, for one weekend, to celebrate, to learn, and to connect, you leave changed.

That weekend I met people who have since kept me accountable, people I text when I’m figuring out the next step in my business, and people I learn from on a weekly basis. These wonderful people are constantly introducing me to new ideas and perspectives, challenging me, and helping me grow.

Your network, your tribe, your connections are the lifeblood of your business.

Beyond just the speakers on stage, here’s what conferences provide:

  • Workshops and real-time opportunities to move through ideas.
  • A chance to unlock or break through a past mindset.
  • An opportunity to try out your new ideas, bio, pitch, or story. (What better way to get better than talk it out a dozen times?)
  • The chance to meet new people who can become business friends (and friends in real life!) for a long, long time to come.

The people you surround yourself with matter.

Next month, I’m heading out to Boise, Idaho for 4 days to join the crew putting on the Craft + Commerce conference with the team at ConvertKit.

I’ll be on stage on the last day, Sunday, giving a talk about my experiences in motherhood and entrepreneurship, and how becoming a parent taught me to level up (yet again) in my business life.

After six years since that day I decided to step in and join the fun, I’ll be back, on stage, telling my own story:

Beyond the adrenaline rush: How becoming a parent taught me to level up (yet again) in business

(And let’s be honest — I go right before Seth Godin. I’m definitely a little bit nervous about that, I won’t lie.)

If you want to join me for an unforgettable weekend, I’ll be in Boise to meet new friends and hang with old friends. I’ll likely teach a workshop or host a group yoga class, as well. A few attendees and I are looking to put something on the calendar so we can go to a yoga class together!

It’s been a while since I’ve been out traveling the conference circuit (becoming a mom was enough of a challenge for a while), and I’m excited to get back and say hi and meet lots of new faces.

And I have a special place in my heart for people who put conferences together. Conferences are really hard to execute, they require a huge investment of energy and capital, and they are, first and foremost, always about the attendees.

Grab your ticket to the conference here: https://convertkit.com/conference

See you in Boise in June!

PS: As a speaker at the conference, I get one free ticket to give as a scholarship / giveaway. Leave a comment over on this Facebook Post by midnight on Monday, June 5th with your answer to the following question:

What do you need to start sooner? 

Want More Connection?

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I have a friend who seems to run into people he knows everywhere he goes. He seems like the most connected person I know.

I laughed and asked him how he does it.

“How do you connect to so many people?” 

He was at the airport and bumped into a friend from far away.

He said it’s not really a trick. It’s not like he knows more people than anyone else.

“I look up,” he said.

“I walk around and I actually take the time to look at people’s faces. I smile. Instead of looking looking, at my phone, I like to look around. When I do that, I see people walking by, and I take time to enjoy the crowd that I’m in.”

Most people just walk around looking down at their feet, or looking down at their phones. Even if they are up, looking around, they might be too full with things in their mind to actually see what’s in front of them.

We look inside of our phones and our devices for connection, and miss the world outside.

Look up, look up.

When you look around, catch someone’s eye.

Smile a bit. Be the person who gives a twinkle and a laugh. And then, when you see what’s in front of you, you might just bump into someone you know.

The Introvert’s Guide to Networking at a Conference

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

My friend was recently excited about a conference but terrified of going and getting overwhelmed.

He texted me:

“Help! do you have any good networking advice for introverts at conferences?” 

Conferences are a great way to meet people, and it’s one of the best ways I’ve used to reach out to new people, connect with peers, learn, and find friends.

However, conferences are also one of the scariest places to go as an introvert: all that talking, all that stimulation, and a loud, crowded set of rooms with people all day long? Call me exhausted, because all of that extroverted energy is draining and leaves me wanting to crawl into a sensory-deprivation tank for three days just to recover. 

 “Sitting and writing and talking to no one is how I wish I could spend the better part of every day.” — Amy Schumer 

As Amy Schumer explains, “If you’re a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don’t hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them—like the sun.” (From her new book, which, while it has a few quotable good bits, I don’t recommend.) 

So if you’re an introvert, how do you make the best of a conference situation? 

Here are a few ways to manage a conference and make it work for you:

  1. Message 20 people in advance, and tell them you’ll be at the conference. Connect over the conference before you even get there — from the comfort of your PJ’s and the quiet of your own room. You don’t even actually have to meet them at the conference. You can just connect over the fact that you went to the same conference.
  2. Take introvert time plentifully. I know that I don’t enjoy a full day stacked with speakers, so I look at the agenda and pick out my top 50% – 75% of the day. I actively choose which session slots I will SKIP so that I can leave the conference, walk through a park, do some stretching, or take a nap. Rather than accidentally skipping the best stuff because I’m too tired to make it through a 14-hour day “on” in front of other people, I’ll plan ahead to take my own introverted break from, say, 2 to 5 PM, and then return refreshed for a dinner mixer and a night event.
  3. Plan to meet people at a food event the night before or the morning after. Research a venue in the area you like and make a reservation for 10 people. (A taco truck, a park, or a single line to-go cafe works well, too, provided it’s nice weather and you can find a place to sit). Tell people that you really want to connect with that you’re doing “X” at “Y,” and be an informal organizer. (“I’m going to get Tacos at 6PM after the first day, join then?”). Invite double the people that you actually want, and a handful will show up and you can create a smaller place to reconvene and have deeper conversations.
  4. Reach out to people afterwards, using the conference as the tool for connection.
  5. Bring cool business cards that say “We met at XYZ conference,” and reference the event itself.
  6. Live tweet the conference using the event’s hashtag and meet people online who are also at the event.
  7. Write a blog recap of the event and share it on social media with the conference hashtag. Bonus: write a blog roundup with the best posts you can find about the event, and comment on other blogger’s write-ups and reach out and meet them digitally.

Those are just a few of my conference-going tips for introverts or people who need slow space to think and connect!

What about you? What are some of your favorite tips for getting the most out of a loud, noisy, awesome, social event that is *maybe* a little too much for you?

 

What Questions Are You Asking? (Three Questions For Reconnection)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

We are the questions we ask.

We are the way we inquire, curiously, about the world we work in.

As I was going through what was (for me), a difficult pregnancy, I looked to my partner and asked, time and time again:

“How do I make it through this?” 

It’s hard to believe now, but there were moments when I didn’t know whether it was worth it. I can go back and tell myself clearly now that yes, it’s absolutely worth it.

But then? Then, it was so hard.

How could I connect what I was doing in my body, what I was feeling, to what was coming ahead of me? 

And in his own frustration, he asked me,

“Well is there anything that you ARE excited about?” 

I realized that some of the worry, the stress, and the negativity — it was consuming me. It was becoming always. Everywhere.

We paused.

And began a simple ritual. A pattern of questions, each night, to help guide our minds towards the positive reflection, even amidst the challenges of near-constant vomiting.

#1: What was the best part of your day?

We whispered the questions to each other at night, just before drifting off into dreamland.

I’d have my pillows piled high under my knees and thighs, a body pillow wrapped around me to prop me up.

What are the moments that went right? What were the good pieces and the good bits?

And we’d look. We’d look hard, we’d look slowly, we’d find, we’d savor, we’d discover. Amidst the pain of it all, we’d find something. A sliver, a thread, a joy. 

#2: What are you grateful for?

We’d make a list of things that we were grateful for. 

I’m grateful that my body is working. I’m grateful that this is all working. I’m grateful that you’re here, even if I’m vomiting, and we get to clean up this mess together. I’m grateful I have a job.

Hope lifted upwards, wrapping me in its hug.

#3 What are you looking forward to about this?

In this case, “this” was the future arrival of our baby boy. Each night, we’d mention something we were looking forward to. Something in our hopes and dreams about this baby we were making.

This baby that was taking my energy, my body, my shape, my memory, my sleep. 

I’m looking forward to hearing him cry for the first time.

I’m looking forward to taking him on bike rides.

I can’t wait to hold his hand and feel his tiny fingers and toes.

I’m looking forward to discovering how he sees the world.

Through these questions of reflection, we’d connect.

We’d connect over our journey into becoming new parents. He would tell me about what he was scared of, what he was hopeful for, what he was imagining in the future.

We’d whisper it together in bed, holding hands, passing out like rockstar adults in the wee hours at 7 PM or 8 PM, on a lucky day.

Three questions to reflect

In the most challenging of times, try these on for size:

  • What was the best part of your day?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What are you looking forward to {about X}? 

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Want to hear more about the journey of being pregnant while working at a startup? I’m writing a new book and opening a new project to talk about growing businesses, growing babies, and being a mama in the working world. Find out more at www.startuppregnant.com.

How Do You Feel Before, During, and After?

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Today I want to share with you about a way to connect inwardly, with yourself. 

But first, a quick story.

I work with coaches. A lot of coaches. I’ve worked with college coaches, swim coaches, book coaches, life coaches… you name it, I like doing it. 

One of my most recent coaches has worked with me on deep, sticky, messy problems, and he consistently challenges me to level up in terms of how I grow. And how I even think about growth in the first place.

Suffice it to say, before our sessions, I start to get really anxious.

I don’t want to meet with him today.

I get a little panicky. I get frustrated. I yell (sometimes). 

“Maybe I’ll just quit coaching,” I tell my husband in a panic. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

He laughs at me. Kindly, though. Because I do this every single time.

Right before our sessions together, I start to get frustrated and nervous. I don’t always want to dig into the stuff that needs work.brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

And then we meet. And we dissect, analyze, and talk through the puzzles that are presenting themselves in my life at the moment. Sometimes I cry.brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

And afterwards? brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

Afterwards feels amazing. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

Afterwards I am so grateful, and so thankful. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

We unpack the stories, the narratives, the ideas, the messiness of mind, and we think about how it all layers together. And there’s relief, and freedom, and … joy. Joy in being human, in being alive, in being messy, in being like a playful little kid, experimenting, growing, and trying things out.

And my husband, he reminds me to remember that how I feel before is not the same as how I feel during, which is not the same as how I feel after.

When you’re feeling sticky or icky, or if you’re in a moment of decision-making, consider all of the layers of the feelings.

  • How do you feel before?
  • How do you feel during? 
  • How do you feel afterwards?

What you feel matters. It’s important to notice all of the feelings, not just some of them.

 

Send a Friend a Love Letter

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I have the bad habit of hiding and holing myself away for a while. It’s when I’m deep in writing, processing, or thinking. I get a bit estranged from the connectivity of it all.

When I emerge, I begin to remember things that I used to do, that I’ve forgotten. A quick sniff of my armpits and I realize that I should probably have showered a bit more frequently; my face is greasy with non-washing and my yoga pants have several days’ worth of food wiped across them.

And I remember that I’ve forgotten to stay in touch. I’ve forgotten to write back to friends. Email has piled up in that unforgiving way, hundreds of messages blinking at me angrily in the ether, waiting and insisting upon an urgent response.

Two weeks is a fast reply, right?

When I disappear into it all, I fail to stay in touch with my friends. Sometimes the guilt seeps in — I missed it! I should have paid more attention! — but deep down, I also know that the way into deep work is to stave off the notifications and the messages for a while.

And as a way back in, I like to write. Write to my friends, write to my family.

The worst habit I have, which I’m a bit remiss to confess here, is one in which I emerge, and then stiffly and frustratingly wonder why people aren’t reaching out to me.

Why don’t I have a new message today?

Hmph.

(As though my friends should be patiently waiting for my return and then instantly messaging me.)

Nope.

It’s on me.

And so I write.

I write my friends a letter. A note.

These are a few of the ways I like to reconnect:

> By text message

Hi! I’ve missed you. Sorry for the delays, I’ve been inside and under a writing rock lately. Let me know how you’ve been and if you want to catch up!

> By audio message

I’m still a bit wary of the actual telephone, so I love to record audio messages for my friends and drop them off.

> By postcard

Postcards cost 34 cents to mail, and about 50 cents to purchase. Isn’t that absolutely incredible? I keep a stash inside the front pocket of my kindle to write when I’m out and about, or when I’m in line, or when I’m traveling on a plane.

> By friend update

I write a monthly friend update — a personal letter of sorts. It’s a small list of people I want to keep in touch with, which goes out, not monthly, but in the months I remember to send it. (Critical distinction, eh?). I forgive myself in advance for the months I forget and pick up during the months I remember. Some quarters just aren’t that externally facing, and that’s part of the seasonality of life.

I tell them a bit about my work and my current thought process, the research projects I’m engaged in, and any struggles that are presenting themselves.

I ask them to write back. I get a dozen or so responses, and we re-engage.

> By email love letter

This is perhaps my favorite of all time. I like to ask people how to show up better for them in their lives, to learn what they like, to hear about what would be helpful for them.

When I find my people in this world, I try to keep them around. People that are on a similar wavelength of curiosity and experimentation, of kindness and depth. And one way to do this is by writing a letter of admiration and connection to them.

To tell them the joy of being acquainted with them, and how much you’re looking forward to getting to know them, however it transpires.

And the question I want to share with the blog today, a nascent question in my journey into better-connected friendships, is a question I find poignant, raw, and mind exploding.

How can I better show up as a friend for you?

I found myself craving a friendship with two people I’d fallen in (friend) love with, and we lived far apart, each equally busy in our world of work and life pursuits. We weren’t going to happen to run into each other very often.

I wrote them an email, titled, simply:

<3

And the email said:

I have a question for you, which might seem strange, but here goes:

How can I show up as a better friend for you?

I’ve got a really strong intuition and feeling that I want to be in your life, that we will stay in touch.

So, for you: what would it look like to have amazing friend support? What makes your life better? How can we show up for you?

Especially in the age of “too busy” and tons of work, what might this look like? Text messages? Random 5 minute chats?

A thought and a question to start a conversation.

xo

How are you reaching out to your friends?

One of my practices in friendship and connection is working to pro-actively initiate more of the types of friendships I want to have in my life. I believe in the rule of 50 people, and the need for vastly better structures of community in our lives. I want my little one to have dozens of “Aunts” and “Uncles” he can turn to when his mom isn’t the right person to go to, and I want the same for myself.

I dream of being surrounded by wonderful men and women, in community, going deeper in ideas, in sharing, in storytelling, and in supporting each other.

It is my belief that telling our stories helps us heal, helps us connect, and helps us feel less alone amidst the existential loneliness of it all (we’re all just floating in space, really, right?).

And so we must reach out, to each other.

What are your favorite practices for reaching out and staying connected with friends? How do you want to show up in the lives of other people, and how do you want people to show up in your lives? Leave a note in the comments!

How to Know When You’re Communicating Well

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Communication is one of the most challenging aspects of leadership. Often I see young leaders and CEOs (myself included) getting frustrated because they said or emailed something once, and it’s not sticking.

Communication is often about repeating yourself. You need to explain yourself, explain it again, return to the idea at the end of the week, check in with each person’s understanding, and then do a recap later on.

Communication is like song lyrics. You need to sing it over and over again until people are humming along.

Just like a song has a chorus and phrases and repeats multiple times (and then is played again, multiple times), great communication isn’t about saying something just once.

Saying something once is very insufficient.

Sing it over and over again until people are humming along.

November Writing Theme: Connection

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Each month I share a monthly writing prompt for you to reflect on, write about, and discuss. I’ll be writing a lot on this theme, and I invite you to join me in writing by linking your blog in the comments below or following the hashtag #mowriting on Twitter or Instagram.

Connection: What is it? What does it mean to connect?

How do you connect? How do you know when you have connected to someone or something?

What do you connect to?

What makes up a “missed connection”?

For me, I know that I want to listen more deeply to my inner compass and pay attention to what I need, moment by moment. This requires discernment, reflection, and ultimately connection to who I am and what I want.

I also want to connect more deeply to the people around me — through writing, letters, more frequent phone calls, better and more vulnerable conversations, hugs, and deepening my most cherished friendships.

Join me in reflecting on this question this month. What does it mean to connect and why is it important to do so?

I invite you to consider both the connection within yourself, as well as the outward connections to other people (or things).

Leave a note in the comments on this post with your reflections, share your pieces using the hashtag #mowriting, or send me a note with a guest post if you’d like to contribute to this month’s theme.

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PS: Join me in my next two live seminars!

Do you ever get overwhelmed by scheduling your day, week, or month? Does email bog you down or frustrate you? I’m teaching two new virtual seminars this November all about rethinking the way you schedule your week (November 9th) and becoming a jedi master with your email inbox (November 17th).

The seminars are 1-hour long, live, and will be recorded. Registration is $49 per class.