How to write more handwritten notes.

I love checking the mailbox. I’ve had pen pals since I was seven years old — and it’s one of the ways Alex and I first met.

Yet in today’s busy-busy world, how do you make time to sit down, get out the pen, and write a note?

Here are a few tricks you might love:

handwritten notes-moleskine

1. Tuck a few cards into the back of your moleskine.

If you’re like me, and you carry a notebook and a pen around, use that back flap to tuck a few postcards and blank notecards into the back. If you have a laptop case, a soft case for your ipad or tablet, or a kindle case, that also works. (I keep notecards in my kindle case and my moleskine).

2. Stock up on notecards and postcards at thrift shops or airports when traveling.

I always add an extra $20 into a trip to buy a little set of cards from a local artist or craft store. It’s a great way to get a souvenir without having to take anything extra that stays in my home for too long.

3. Keep a stack in a box on your desk.

I have a small box with several dozen cards and postcards in it that sits on my desk, next to my pen jar. Anytime I’m waiting for something to load (saving, uploading, syncing, rebooting – you name it, there’s technical lag time) — I’ll grab a card and write.

4. Keep a special slim bag for notecards and stamps.

I have a special zippered bag that has travel essentials in it — whenever I’m consulting, teaching, or getting on an airplane for a work trip — and I keep my converters, chargers, and essential digital items in there. (It’s a handy bag that I adore and it has all the wires and cords for setting up projectors, adaptors, and more). It’s got a little sleeve down the side and I put in a stack of notecards and business cards to be ready whenever I need them.

I love those waterproof all-in-one zippered bags, cosmetic bags, or all-function zippered bags from MUJI.

handwritten notes-zipper bag

5. When you feel the urge or a twinge that says, I miss that person — write.

Capture the intuition. I’ve written to people I’ve barely talked to, people I admire online and respect greatly, and send notes to people who I can sense are having a hard time. Sometimes it’s been years and I see someone’s face again online and I think — ahh, that person is lovely. I know we didn’t keep in touch, but I’ll send a little note.

6. Use takeoff and landing time!

When airlines tell me to “put away and stow all electronic devices,” I smile and grab my notecard bag. Whenever I’m departing is a great time to scribble out a few quick thank-you notes to the people who hosted me, people I just met, or people I spent time workshopping with. There’s usually at least 20 minutes between takeoff and getting to cruising altitude, so I use that time to jot out my notes, thank-you’s for the holidays, and anyone else I feel like writing to.

But what do you say?

Writing quick cards is about cultivating the habit — keeping the cards near you on your desk, in your purse, or in a device that you use all the time (read: laptop, kindle, tablet) means it’s super easy to grab one quickly when you need it. I keep cards all around me so that when I get the urge, I can cultivate the habit.

Keep the notes simple.

And here are a few scripts I love. Take ’em, use ’em, run with ’em:


 

“Congratulations! I saw your recent good news and I wanted to say how inspiring everything you do is. Keep it up! XO.”

“Been thinking about you. I know it’s been forever since we’ve connected, but I wanted to drop a note and say how delightful it is to see what you’re working on. From an old friend, XO.”

“Sending you lots of love and hugs right now! I know that life has a lot of rough and tumble spots and I wanted to send a little smile your way.”

“I wanted to drop a quick note and say THANK YOU for hosting me this past week. It was wonderful to stay with you and meet your crew and I appreciate your hospitality so much!”

“You’re the best. Seriously. Thank you.”

“Just wanted to say hi!”


When in doubt, add your favorite quote or two and just a couple of sentences. It doesn’t have to be an epic letter — the note says enough when you send it.

I love handwritten notes.

Send a little happiness into the world!

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Easy?

Shouldn’t it be easy?

An inside look at what it feels like for me:

There are some days when I can’t get out of bed. Some days when I feel so overwhelmed, tired, and disappointed in myself that I don’t know what to do, or where to begin.

The signs I hang up and the pins I post and the words I copy? They are just reminders to myself, first and foremost. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. Most of the time. I’m just here, trying, just like anyone else.

It’s not easy. “Yoga teacher training,” for example, sounds like an indulgence when I type the letters into my social profiles, cheerily posting about heading off to practice, but the reality of practicing these twenty hours each week is a face-to-face awakening with the mindsets I live with. Each time, I struggle with being too tired, with being scared, and with confronting my “samskaras,” or the past stories and patterns of truth I’ve got imprinted on my brain. I struggle mightily with quieting my mind, and this devil of a mind drives me bat-shit crazy. A lot.

A lot.

Seriously, who writes 20,000 words a week… just to stay sane?

I write to let it out, to maintain my sanity. I’m afraid that I’ll be insane by fifty and mumbling to myself in poverty huddled in a torn jacket in the corner of the subway entrance, and that no one will see me.

None of this is easy.

Here’s the thing, though. It’s not promised to be easy. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be weird, and there are going to be plenty of days where you’re in a puddle, confused, lost, lonely, or wondering where to go. When I left my job to begin my own company, it was hard—I had to learn (and I’m still learning) new systems, new organization patterns, new habits, how to prioritize—again and again. I had to learn how to work alone. How to be accountable.

The lessons keep coming.

The promise of “easy” is a delusion, sometimes. Is that the point, though? I don’t think any of us, if we really thought about it, said—yes, the only thing I want in this life is the easy stuff. Forget about the rest of it, I’d just like it to be easy.

No, it’s not about the easy. (There is ease, but that’s a different conversation). First, it’s about what you do when it’s not easy. It’s about realizing that even if it’s hard, it can still be beautiful, and you can still make things that matter when you’re tired, lonely, scared, depressed, or bothered.

In the words of my coach, during a particularly arduous sequence of events: “Just f-*king do it.”

“Show me you can do it no matter what.”

This is when you become better than the best. Not when circumstances are perfect. It’s when circumstances are shit and you do it anyways.

Easy?

When did someone sit down and promise you that it was supposed to be easy? Or better yet, fair? It’s not guaranteed to be easy or fair, and the people who get what they want go after it–in spite of and because of–each and every advantage or disadvantage they are thrown.

Sometimes, things are easier than you could have ever imagined–pieces fall into place, the actions a result of agreement finally locking into place in your mind.

Other times, the fight for what you want, what you desire, is harder than you’d ever imagined; it begs you to give up, to stop, to drop. You doubt your desires, you fear the pain. You quiver, you stall. Many give up–no, most give up–and say, you know what? I don’t want it as much as I thought I did. I’m not willing to fight.

But if you want it, if you really, really want it, you’ll make it, you’ll do it, you’ll fight for it.

You’ll keep going even if it’s years of pain and labor, if it’s a fight worth fighting.

You’ll give up the excuses and the hards and tireds and you’ll find a way.

This is when you become better than the best. Not when circumstances are perfect. It’s when circumstances are shit and you do it anyways.

Do it anyway.

What to write about when you don’t know what to write about.

Building Walls in Brooklyn

What do you do when you don’t know what to write about?

When you’re stuck or worried or wondering what to say next, write anyways.

Write about things that no one is talking about.

Write about the things that are whispering in your ear, that seem strange, or that seem off, somehow. Write about the things you’re not sure if you should say. Tell the stories you haven’t told yet. Say it anyway.

Write about what makes you angry, or what seems paradoxical.

Write about how the New York Times keeps writing about how we should get more sleep, eat less sugar, drink less coffee, walk more, and that sitting is dangerous – and yet what if the people who write the pieces are still living sugar-filled, caffeinated, stationary lives? What does it take to actually enact habit change, or motivate change?

Write about how Fast Company talks about digital sabbaticals yet never seems to stop posting on the damn internet. I feel like I’m drowning in Fast Company Facebook Posts. It’s like FastBook, except it’s going too fast for me and I want to slow down. Maybe Fast Company can take a digital sabbatical and save the rest of us a day. Less FOMO, more JOMO.

Write about how the deluge of life coaches means something significant (maybe that we really are all screwed up?) or that maybe we’re in an ever-increasing flood of informational internet opportunities that’s just a fancy pyramid scheme in disguise (do I believe this? I don’t know); or, alternatively and more optimistically, that the idea of a life coach is indicative of a culture that has lost something. Write about a culture that has forgotten how to describe the value of people of immense wisdom, of mentors, of friends, of age, and of colleagues who give us the increasingly scarcest resource of all–ample time and thoughtfulness and attention.

Or perhaps–and you should write about this, or maybe I should, we’ll see–maybe it means that we’re a culture devoid of meaning, that we’ve lost the rituals, practices, habits, and deeper connectivity to the earth and to our own spirituality (to God, to the universe, to anything). Talk about how our post-enlightenment love affair with science has led us so far astray from the knowledge and wisdom we’ve had for thousands and thousands of years (the yogis emphasized the importance of meditation five thousand years ago; the scientific papers are just beginning to understand why this is true). Perhaps religion and science are hand-in-hand, and both will make the other stronger, as each catches up with the other (and more importantly, acknowledges the other).

Write about why we search for a reason and an understanding for who we are. Write about why we seek to understand why we’re doing what we’re doing.

Write about what it’s like to be curious.

Write about what it’s like to see. Capture the world in words, as best you can. Really write it out–the details and nuances and intricacies of where you are, and who you are, right now.

Write about how digital technology and interconnectedness is changing us, and what you think the future of the internet is.

Speculate on the future of public space, and whether or not democracy and digital connectedness are serving us.

Write about problems around the world that we collectively ignore because the hip gyrations of a young teen is more mesmerizing than the assassination of twelve human lives.

Write about how the next $500 ebook or self-guided course isn’t going to get you where you want if you don’t actually read it. Wonder why people buy things and still don’t take action.

Write about how fucking mad you are, and your inside feelings that you’ve been locking up for years.

Write about what it’s like to be you, and what makes you angry, and what makes you blissfully happy. Write about the tools you use to numb yourself, because we all try desperately to avoid sadness and misery, and we stuff ourselves with caffeine, sugar, stimulation, pot, television, phones, and other instant-pieces that fill our minds with avoidance. Write about the things we do to numb us from actually feeling.

Admit that you have a body, that you have a soul, that you’re damn depressed and the reason for that is because you actually believe you’re capable of a lot more–and you haven’t figured out how to make the magic happen yet.

Write about what it’s like to be one single individual cell within your body, a particle so small it’s incomprehensible; yet it’s dependent on the air you breathe and water you give it to pulse and beat and carry out its marching orders.

Write about what it’s like to be you, here, and now.

Write about what you feel, and have an honest conversation with yourself about it. Crack the vulnerability open a little bit. Watch for the flood gates. Let the floods come. Have some fucking feelings, and roll around with them. Discover your desires. Write them in big bold beautiful ink on the insides of your body (or the outsides) and on the walls of your living space and in the margins and pages of your notebooks.

Write about the fact that we have no walls anymore or natural barriers to say no, and so we’re constantly flooded with requests that make us anxious, tired and depressed.

Write about what the future will say of Steve Jobs, and how our collective idolization might be washed away if we discover that the advent of the personal and mobile computer–while an exceptional tool for human creativity–also created the unintended consequences of contributing to alarming obesity rates couple and such sedentary humans that our internal IQ’s went down as much as they increased through the information access we enabled.

Wonder about the future of the internet and how it’s changing our lives. Take a piece that someone has written and respond to it, thoughtfully. React. Respond. Listen.

Poke the box. Fuck it, shake it. Stir it. Challenge Seth Godin, give him an essay that makes him think harder, question each of your idols, re-examine your mantras. Think twice about the information you’re given. Disagree and argue. If you construct it well enough, I bet Seth would be fascinated with the conversation you create. You might be wrong. So what? Admit it, and try again.

Think, and then think again.

Write about people who have adrenal fatigue, who are too tired to keep up with work. Write about how an obsession with productivity is wearing down the souls of the people who are trying the hardest; the people we need to continue to be vibrant. Write about what a waste of time email is. Write about how you would do things differently–and then write about how many steps and stumbles it took for you to make it happen.

Write about how your heart bleeds when you hold a tiny infant in your arms because, just for a hot second, the world’s energy moves through your heart center and you feel both restfully still and a live pulsing, and you’re connected through your chakras to a deeper reason for being, and in that bliss, you look at the limitless possibilities in that tiny breathing being and you think,

Damn, that’s perfect, perfect,

and you look at yourself and you think,

what the fuck happened?

###

[ You are still as beautiful, you know. You already are beautiful. You are always capable of beauty. ]

[ You’re perfect, in exactly that messy way that you are. It’s just hiccups and hangups that occupy the world, and get all messy inside your brain space. ]

###

Cultivate Wonder.

Wonder about change, and how it happens. Breathe into the space and creases and pockets of your lungs. Describe what it’s like to be a cell within your body. Touch the sensation of one side of your body, and then the other side. Pause for a moment and detail–in delicious words–the tracing of a finger around the circumference of your body. Close your eyes and imagine where the edges of your humanity are: can you feel them?

Pick an object and tell the story of its life. Talk about what it was before it came into your consciousness, where it was made, and how its life intersects with yours. Wonder where it goes when you toss it flippantly to the side. Consider waste streams and garbage, and capture the movement of things through systems by tracing one item through time.

Write about something that isn’t being said.

If you have a thought, or a joke, or a cranky opinion—and you want to rant, or write, or change the topic—do it.

Write about the things that should be different.

Write a story about a conversation worth having. Write about your experience, and then write about how that connects to larger issues. Write your story. Write about what it’s like to be you.

But for the love of all of it, tell your story, and say what needs to be said.

There’s plenty to write about. Go on, get writing.

Morning and Evening Meditations and Reflections: Two Books I Love Opening, Any Time, Any Page

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What are you filling your mind with? What are you musing upon, reflecting on, what things are you considering today?

Sometimes when I get wrapped up in the throes of launching a new project, or just simply taking on too many projects, I don’t quite find I have enough time to sit leisurely and read an entire book. (This is something that I’d love to change, of course–but all in good time).

Lately I’ve started the habit of keeping two books by my bed that I love and opening them up to a random page to read as meditations before bed. No matter how busy the day, or how late I work, I don’t want to go to bed dreaming of work emails and screens and just re-playing the scenes of the day. And rather than beat myself up for not having time to read an entire book, I like to find books that are easy to just read a page or two of; something that will help me get into a sleep mindset.

There’s also importance in being careful what you “feed” yourself before bed, or what you put into your brain. I’ve noticed on the nights I stay up late watching trashy reality television, sometimes these characters will permeate my dreams, and I find myself ruminating obsessively in my dreams over details on the latest bachelorette episode (and I can’t stand to think that I spent my night considering this)–so I’m opting for a new strategy. Instead, I’ve started feeding myself these two favorites–just a page at a time:

A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…”

“Achievement doesn’t come from what we do, but from who we are. Our worldly power results from our personal power. Our career is an extension of our personality.”

“The universe will always support our integrity.”

“Having money means we have more money with which to employ other people and heal the world.”


Reflections on the Art of Living, A Joseph Campbell Companion

Selected and Edited by Diane K. Osbon

“The privilege of a lifetime is being you who are. The goal of the hero trip down to the jewel point is to find those levels in the psyche that open, open, open and finally open to the mystery of your Self being Buddha consciousness or the Christ. That’s the journey.”

“Fear of your power is what commits you to the lower system.”

“Ritual introduces you to the meaning of what’s going on.”

What do you read to put in your mind? Or rather, what are you currently filling your mind with? I love books for reflection, contemplation, ritual, and meditation–so if you have a recommendation, let me know!

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Making (restaurant) decisions easier — a quick sketch.

Binary Decisions Restaurant Menu, by Sarah Peck

I was sitting at a restaurant not too long ago, reading through another incredibly long list of options, both overwhelmed and exasperated by the choices in front of me. I just want something good to eat! I thought. I don’t want to read everything and choose. My analytically-focused brain, however, often prompts me to read every single option before making a decision, because I want to be sure that I’ve made the best decision.

This got me thinking, however, about how we make decisions, decision paradoxes, and how to design menus that are easy for the user, not the sender. It’s not enough to put all the information onto a page. What if we designed a menu that took into account the psychology of how we make decisions?

A quick sketch later, and my sister and I brainstormed a menu that presented only binary options. You decide between a series of two choices, until you arrive at three or fewer options for what you might select to eat. For example, look at “start here.” You have two options — deciding between the “vegetarian/fish” side and the “meat” side. Once you pick a side, go up if you want fish, down if you want veggie. Then continue to select until you pick what you want to eat. Check it out, above.

Restaurant menus, like many, many other consumer interfaces, are typically designed with the first intent of giving the user all of the necessary information. Secondarily, a higher-end restaurant might layer in sophisticated-looking fonts, higher-quality papers and other polishes that make the menu look and feel in accordance with the brand. But what about a menu that understands the way that human brains work? That understands–and incorporates–human psychology and decision-making into the design itself?

This probably goes for other menus, too. (Such as the menu on your website, or the number of options you give people in company packages). Apple is well-known for making decisions simpler (at least they were).This menu was also inspired by a brilliant waitress that was able to nail what I wanted by closing the menu in front of me and asking me three questions (Meat or Veggie? Sweet or Salty? Carb side or veggie side?) and proceeded to give me two options for things I thought were delicious. Yes, please!

I’d love for someone to riff off of this, too. Take it–and make a better one. Make it more clear. What would you change? Would this make your decision-making easier?

 

Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review


It’s the end of the month (Happy Halloween!) and I’m sitting down to do my monthly review–which happens as close to the 30th as I can get each month, give or take a couple of days depending on my schedule and deadlines. I find that I like to check-in on the 30th to see how things are going, because a monthly check-in is a good rhythm to gauge whether or not I’m making significant progress on my larger goals, what I moved forward on, and whether or not I’m happy with the balance in my health, lifestyle, ambitions, physicality and writing dreams.

I’m sharing a peek-behind-the-scenes into my monthly review because I think you’ll like it–I love learning how people operate and how often they check in with themselves, what (or whether or not) they set goals for themselves, and how they go about reaching them. I like getting things done and making things happen, and this is a system that works for me. I’ve shared it with a handful of people over the past couple of days and so I’m documenting both what I do–and some of the questions they have–as a peek behind the curtains. Continue reading “Building Something Bigger (And a Peek Behind The Curtain): My Monthly Review”

You Have to Ask.

What happens when you don’t ask? Well, one thing’s for certain: You won’t find out.

So, ask. Say what you want. Often you can’t get what you want until you put yourself out there.

Will you like my Facebook page? How about my new Swimming page? And will you come find me on Twitter, if that’s where you are? 

Sure, that’s easy, you say. Of course I will. (*Whew!* My brain thinks. Man, I didn’t want to ask–what if they said no? Ahh, the lovely fear of rejection.)  

We don’t get what we don’t ask for.

So, what are you asking for? What do you want? What are the questions you have for other people? Here are a few things you can ask: Continue reading “You Have to Ask.”