What to do about negative feedback.

Posted on July 9, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Are you hungry enough?

So I’m at home on a Saturday night, and I’m watching America’s Next Top Model, one of my guilty pleasures and trashy TV shows that I sometimes tune into (it’s that, Project Runway, and Suits that make me curl up with a bowl of popcorn after a long day).

While you can hold your comments about my show preferences, I noticed something about people in competition — and in life — that’s critically important.

Three models are competing to book a show. They’ve got their fierce looks on, they have to show their chops, demonstrate what they’ve learned, and show their skill in posing and/or walking. Two of them get booked — and one of them doesn’t.

Sometimes, after a competition, the TV cuts to a scene of the competitor in a corner, crying. “I don’t know what I did wrong,” they wail, teary-eyed. “I just don’t get it! I thought I was totally going to get this job!”

In two cases, however, I watched as one of the contestants got cut — and she walked up to the judge and asked,

How can I be better?

The judge gave a few remarks about confidence, etc, and the model continued to drill him:

“I’d really love your feedback because I want to get this right. I know it’s fiercely competitive, and I’m interested in upping my game.”

Both times, the contestants that took the exact moment where they got feedback that told them they weren’t as good as their peers, taking that opportunity to learn, grow, and build — the contestants transformed the most week over week.

Granted, this is ANTM. I’m blushing just writing about this.

But I see this happen all the time in real life, too.

My friends who are building programs on the internet, making projects, delivering results, starting companies — the most successful people I know are insanely curious about making things better. They take their project, put it in the world, and ask for feedback.

They know that life is a continuous game of learning, one that started when we were born. As toddlers, we might fall a hundred times while learning to walk, but very few of us sat pouting in a corner after we fell down a couple of times. We wanted to walk.

Not all feedback is the same, however.

Great feedback you can use. Great feedback is specific, clear, and something that you can work on. Negative comments for the sake of being mean should be ignored. (That’s called a troll). When someone has something to say that’s constructive, file it away. Store it — because it’s valuable. We wanted to explore, to move.

The hunger to learn is innate.

When life gets a little rough, we can cry. (I do that sometimes. And it often involves trashy TV and a bowl of popcorn in my bed).

And we can also ask,

How can I be better?

Are you in love with the product? Or the process?

Posted on June 18, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Typewriter

“My job is to do, not to judge.” — Dani Shapiro

Sometimes, as writers or as makers, we become obsessed with the outcome. The work itself as object, as product — not as process. We judge, criticize, and refuse to do the work when we see the outcome as one great failure.

Push publish anyways, I urge my students. Just keep making, and keep publishing.

Sometimes the fear of making something terrible corrodes the willingness to sit down and put pen to paper—our minds, taking credit for failure before work has been done.

When our minds get in the way.

In architecture school, it took me a year and a half before both my teachers and I stopped looking horrified at my creative output. I knew I wanted to draw something, but the ideas never translated into images in the way that I wanted—my hands felt like clumsy stumps at the hands of Illustrator wands, and each time I stood in front of a presentation with fat, thick, rounded-edge neon green lines as attempts at drawing diagrams, I cringed physically while explaining what I was trying to do.

It took me nearly two years in school to think a drawing of mine wasn’t half-bad. After three years of drawing both digitally and by hand, I finally came up with a few drawings that I felt half-pleased with. And after many, many more years of playing with pens and photoshop, I find that while I’m not always in love with the creative output, I’m much more comfortable with the creative process: I enjoy the act of sitting down and making things, even if the first dozen—or three dozen—iterations are all tossed into the waste bin.

When people shake their heads and tell me, “Oh no, I can’t draw,” I frown. I tell them it’s actually possible to learn—I know this from experience—but it takes quite a few years of drawing terrible drawing after terrible drawing to find a mastery over your line work.

Most people are too afraid of making terrible drawings to commit to the process.

That’s the mind at work—telling us, judging us, berating us over the output—when the only thing that matters is getting your ass into the chair and making a mess.

Today, when I teach writing, I focus on creating positive space for students to explore their ideas. Our workshop participants write three times a week, and the first two weeks are filled with the messiness of new ideas put to paper. Just write, I tell them. Instead of creating perfection, we write just to write.

Learning to write isn’t about beautiful sentences pouring off your mental fingertips; it’s about creating a habit and a relationship to the process. And amazingly, at the end of week three or four, students write in and they tell me, “This just got so much easier! It’s like writing here with you made all of my other writing projects easier as well!” Yes. Making begets making.

The act of making is about the act of making, not the outcome.

Charcoal sketches from graduate school: the shape of space through a forest.

If I let my thoughts rule my world, I wouldn’t publish a single piece on this blog, and I would never make it to the writing table. My mind not only judges the past work I’ve done, but it tells me I’ll never be able to create, finish, or make anything worthwhile.

Some days I wake up, thick in the middle of criticizing my own work, and I think that the efforts I’ve put forward are abysmal at best. Working through this is a twisted form of self-suffering — but each time I make it through the fire of my mind, it gets easier to come back again the next time. My mind is a dangerous place of judgment, and worse, pre-judgment.

If I listened to everything my mind said, I’d never do a thing.

My solace, the wisdom I hold on to in spite of the rage of my fickle mental mind, is that publishing is the only way through. The way to carving out a space and a voice is through making, not dreaming.

The magic is in the making, in the creation itself.

Making is the art; art is the byproduct of process.

“We cannot achieve greatness unless we lose all interest in begin great,” Thomas Merten wrote, and as I discovered while reading Dani Shapiro’s essays in her book, Still Writing.

She says, “how I feel about my own work is none of my business. […] Satisfaction should not be—cannot be—the goal.”

Focusing on outcomes lends itself to a miserable existence: to never quite be satisfied with the products of your work, and then, to give up. Instead, in spite of this rumbling uneasiness, creators continually chase the act of creation, of making, and explore the pursuit of expressing yourself.

The purpose of creativity is to make. The byproduct of creativity is an output.

You are a maker; makers make.

But what happens when we get entangled in the dance of judgment?

When I find myself hiding, examining and re-examining my own work, cringing at the misplaced letters and ill-fitting words and the ugly writing of my last decade, I want to stop making entirely. What’s the point? It feels as though my efforts are only an exercising in proving my fear of inadequacies correct.

But Shapiro reminds me: “There is tremendous creative freedom to be found in letting go of our opinions of our work.”

Instead, our job is to make: to open the channel, to create. And while the products of out making may be dissatisfying to us, there is a blessing in realizing that we are not here to judge our work.

“My job is to do, not to judge.” — Dani Shapiro

As we talked about recently at Alive in Berlin, the feelings of unrest are challenging at best — but there is a peacefulness, an inner aliveness, found inside of the process of making—no matter the discomfort. Shapiro describes it as a blessed unrest:

“It is a great piece of luck, a privilege, to spend each day leaping, stumbling, leaping again. As is true of so much of life, it isn’t what I thought it would be when I was first starting out. The price is high: the tension, isolation and lack of certitude can sometimes wear me down. But then there is the aliveness. The queer, divine dissatisfaction. The blessed unrest.”

When I start judging myself and my work, I make nothing.

Instead, I walk back in each day, take off the cloak of criticism, and do my best to keep making.

Want to improve your writing and get those voices out of your head and onto paper? Our six-week summer writing workshop begins June 30th. Stop thinking, start writing: your voice needs to be heard. Registration closes Wednesday, June 25th.

Pandering — and 9 other things great writers refuse to do.

Posted on May 7, 2014May 6, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. — Mark Twain

I don’t often publish guest posts here on It Starts With, but occasionally I meet a fellow writer with a story and a message that matches our audience. Today, I’m delighted to share the work of Isaiah Hankel.

Isaiah is a speaker, author, and Ph.D. scientist who recently released the book Black Hole Focus. Long before getting his doctorate, Isaiah was a sheep farmer in rural Idaho who struggled in school and was diagnosed repeatedly with ADD and ADHD. He survived college and barely made it into graduate school—but in graduate school, he was put on academic probation and worked as a janitor while sleeping in a friend’s basement to make ends meet.

We talk a lot about what it takes to write well — and when Isaiah shared what he had written with me about remembering this list of things that great writers don’t do, I couldn’t wait to share it with you. Here’s the list—and Isaiah:

The first draft of anything is shit. — Ernest Hemingway

Pandering — and 9 other things great writers refuse to do.

By Isaiah Hankel.

After I wrote my graduate thesis I realized I was a horrible writer. It would have been nice to know this a little earlier. Like before I turned 30. Oh well.

The funny thing is that I thought I was a really good writer. I thought I was a smart writer. I used big words and academic transitions like “moreover,” and “furthermore.” I referenced the hell out of everything. It turns out all of this stuff is good for getting an article published in an academic journal that a handful of people will ever read—but not much else.

I started my first blog right around the time I started writing my thesis. You can tell because a lot of my first blog articles have the word “moreover” in it. Awful. My first few articles were short and talked about other people and other people’s ideas and basically just reworded blog articles that I read on the Internet that week. I’d see an interesting topic online and think “I agree with that!” and then start writing the same article.

I hadn’t found my own voice yet and was too afraid to tell any personal stories so I just regurgitated other people’s stories. I’d take someone else’s idea and then try to repackage it as my own. If you’ve done this too, don’t worry. Everyone does. Even Mozart’s earliest compositions contain lines from other composers like Johann Sebastian Bach.

Over time, I got better. It took a few years, and a lot of mistakes, but I eventually found my voice. And I found my audience. I started having my own ideas and using other people’s work to back it up (instead of the other way around). I refused to just regurgitate information anymore—and I learned a few other rules about writing.

10 things great writers refuse to do:

There are a few other things that I refuse to do now, too. Like sacrifice clarity for cleverness, or get gimmicky and preachy. Great writers refuse to do a lot of things. I’m not a great writer. I’m just average. I only refuse to do a few things. But great writers refuse to do A LOT of things. Here are 10 things that great writers refuse to do:

1. Pander to their audience.

People who sacrifice their identity to success will end up with neither.

As soon as writers start sacrificing their voice and their true nature in hopes of getting more book sales or article clicks or likes or fans or whatever, that’s the end. It’s the end of the writer’s unique self.

A lot of authors who have success early and then miss on their second offering have the urge to go backwards. Instead of creating something new, they try to repeat the past, causing them to lose their edge. Some try too hard to go back that they end up spiraling downward. They get desperate and pander or start begging their audience to like them again.

Great writers refuse to do this. They’d rather go through a slump than stop creating original material that speaks to them personally.

2. Sacrifice clarity for cleverness (or smartness).

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” — Einstein.

Einstein nailed it with this quote. Too many writers are trying to be clever when they should be trying to be clear.

I love the line in the script for the movie Fight Club when Tyler Durden turns to the Narrator and says, “Oh I get it. It’s very clever. How’s that working out for you? Being clever?”

Cleverness is overrated. Clever titles don’t get clicked and they don’t sell very well either. Clear titles get clicked and sell. Great writers refuse to sacrifice clarity to cleverness.

What made Earnest Hemingway such a great writer?

Hemingway chose words that were common, concrete, specific, Anglo-Saxon, casual, and conversational. He rarely used adjectives and abstract nouns and always avoided complicated syntax.

You don’t need to try to sound smart. You don’t need to use a larger word when a smaller word will do. And all of those dumb little transition phrases that your high school and college teachers taught you—like “firstly” “secondly” “finally” “significantly” “interestingly” and, of course, “moreover”—delete those.

3. Sacrifice success to art.

Success sometimes means something worked well—build on that.

I know, I know, this seems to contradict #1. It does. But that’s because there needs to be a balance. You can’t sacrifice your art to success AND you can’t sacrifice success to art.

A lot of authors hold too onto the idea of originality too firmly. They refuse to stick with what works. This is admirable—but what good is your creative piece if no one ever reads it?

Play with your voice until you find something that other people respond to. And, when they respond, don’t be afraid to stick with what works. Tim Ferriss wrote The 4-Hour Workweek, then The 4-Hour Body, then The 4-Hour Chef. Gretchen Rubin wroteThe Happiness Project and then Happier At Home. J.K. Rowling wrote seven Harry Potter books. And then there are the 50 Shades of Grey, Hunger Games, and Twilight series.

Success means something worked well. You don’t need to shun success—it’s okay to use your voice and to build on what works.

4. Forget about the hero’s journey.

If you forget that we’re all heroes on similar paths, your story will fall flat.

Why do Adam Sandler movies suck now? It’s because he stopped following Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.

Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are classic stories because the main character, Sandler, is the unassuming protagonist who is thrust into a plotline that he wants no part of. He is an average Joe who hesitantly takes on a burden and starts a difficult journey. He gets knocked down over and over again but then, against all odds, comes out on top, gaining wisdom and power in the process. This is essentially the same story that is told in everything from Leo Tolstoy’s War & Peace and Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield, to Harry Potter and Katniss in the Hunger Games.

The problem is that Sandler’s recent movies just have him playing the same guy over and over again — someone who is kind of funny and has a few weird things happen to him. There’s no burden, there’s no hesitating (flawed) hero, there’s no real journey out through the other side of a transformation at all.

Great writers never lose the hero’s journey. No matter what you’re writing, fiction or nonfiction, your work can include a hero’s journey. If you’re writing fiction, remember to have your protagonist follow a hero’s journey. If you’re writing non-fiction, include personal stories that take the reader along your hero’s journey, or better yet—show them how you fit into their own hero’s journey. Use vulnerability and confidence in equal parts to be relatable and to create the effect of going on a journey where you come out better off than you were before.

5. Ignore their creative process.

Everyone has a creative process but not everyone’s process is creative. The only way to be truly creative is to turn the negative voices in your head off.

Off.

One of the biggest mistakes that mediocre writers make is keeping their internal editor always in the “on” position. This is a super fast way to kill your creativity.

One way to do this is by dividing your creative process into three phases: a creative phase, a realistic phase, and a critical phase. This is also known as the Disney Method, named after Walt Disney who designed it.

During the first step, you should write like no one will ever read what you’re writing ever. Just write like you’re a kid. Jump all over the page. Experiment. Go on tangents. Revel in complete creativity. For the second step, review what you wrote realistically – clean your creative work up so that it makes logical sense. And for the third step, get critical and cut out anything that doesn’t fit with the overall piece.

6. Always keep their favorite lines.

You have to be willing to delete large portions of your work in order to make it punchy, powerful, and clear.

After you’ve created massive amounts of work, next, become an editor. (But not at the same time). Equally important is the critical phase of the creative process.

Often, you’ll have to cut out your very favorite line in order to make the larger piece as good as it can be. You might even have to delete the line that sparked the entire article or book in the first place. Great writers are okay with this. They refuse to sacrifice the larger piece to smaller parts that they’re in love with.

Don’t let your ego get in the way of creating the best overall piece of work possible. You can always use your favorite lines in your next article or book.

7. Forget about feelings.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou.

I love this quote from Maya Angelou. It’s so true.

When I read The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss, I feel free and mobile, like I can leave all my obligations and possessions behind and still be happy. When I read The 40 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, I feel bold and confident and eager to try my hand at taking over the world. When I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin I feel happy, reflective, and grateful for what I have. Pride and Prejudice makes me feel romantic and hopeful, Anna Karenina makes me feel sad and nostalgic, and The Fountainhead makes me feel intelligent and industrious. I’ll never forget how these books make me feel.

Great writers never forget feelings. They craft their stories to impact not only their reader’s thoughts and actions, but their feelings too. A story sweeps us up into the feeling within the writers mind.

8. Or… only focus on feelings.

On the opposite end of this spectrum is the writer who treats his reader like emotional punching bags—dumping their problems and pains all over the page without adding anything productive.

There are literally thousands of blogs written by mediocre authors who are pumping out article after article of nonsense. They rant and rave and complain without offering anything constructive in return – no solutions, no good questions, no actionable takeaways.

Great writers refuse to be martyrs. They talk about their problems openly and are intensely vulnerable but they never whine. Their writing is of service—to a greater art, to an idea, to an audience—not a platform to stand and complain.

9. Get gimmicky and corny.

Great writers never use gimmicks. Instead, they build an authentic rapport with their readers. They stay real with their audience, not fake.

One of the first short stories I wrote was very gimmicky. For starters, I ended every chapter with a corny transition like, “Alex walked over to the bushes that were interwoven with the park’s metal fence and…”

Then, the next chapter started with, “… picked up a handful of white rocks.” Or whatever. It sucked. I wasn’t the first person to use a gimmick like this and, unfortunately, I won’t be the last.

Gimmicks are a turn off. Readers shut down when they think they’re being played. And they get annoyed by corniness.

10. Get preachy.

The only thing worse than being gimmicky is being preachy.

Yes, writers should have their own point of view. And you should take a stance on whatever topic you’re writing about, especially if it’s an opinion piece. But if you righteously put yourself on the moral high ground, this will make your readers hate you—no matter how nice you are in person, or how right you are about the subject.

Lead your audience from within, not from above. The imperfect teacher is a more effective teammate than dominator. This is a much more effective way to rally support for your ideas.

Great writers embed their philosophical ideals very deeply in their work. Whether it’s a nonfiction or fiction piece, these writers use stories, not sermons, to make their points. When it comes persuading your readers, a Trojan Horse is more effective than a battering ram.

What about you? What are some things that you try to avoid doing in your writing practice?

If you loved this, check out more of Isaiah’s work on his website, read the essay I swapped with him on swimming naked from Alcatraz, or pick up a copy of his just-published book, Black Hole Focus.

The Writer’s Workshop is now open for our summer session! Join us for the next class—and kickstart your writing into high gear.

Posted on May 5, 2014May 5, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

It’s baaaaack! The Writer’s Workshop will open up again this summer for a brand-new six-week session beginning June 30th.

The Writer’s Workshop is a live course focused on improving your storytelling, writing, and narrative abilities through eight masterful lectures and exercises — together with a community of co-writers to share the journey. We interview experts across the industry in marketing, communications, blogging, and book creation — and send YOU on a journey to dig into your own inner creative.

This time around, there are a few changes and additions:

Now that almost 100 people have taken the course, we’ve gotten excellent feedback, tips to make the program even stronger, and rave reviews from students. Here’s what you get—and what’s changing:

In the upcoming summer session, I’m adjusting the course to become a six-week program.

Also, the Writer’s Workshop will be available at three access points—to make it both more affordable for more people. There is a self-paced budget option for people who want to do the course on their own; a live class where we get to meet each other and join forces with all the alumni in the program (my favorite part!), and a private, closed Writer’s Circle for just a small group of people to receive more personalized attention and coaching.

Both the Writer’s Workshop and Content Strategy will run again this summer, beginning June 30—check out the course pages for full details and how to register.

Who is this course for?

This course is perfect for people with aspiring creative writing dreams; professionals looking at improving their communication skills for a day job; bloggers who want to improve their craft; or people with an existing writing practice who want to meet other like-minded people.

“Improving your writing means you can improve your relationships, improve your work, and get more of what you want.”

We are all writers.

The idea that writing is a separate tool or skill from other skills is a myth that needs to be debunked. We should all be excellent communicators—because the more powerfully we can convey our ideas, the more we can achieve.

Improving your writing means you can improve your relationships (through better inter-personal communication), improve your work (by getting better at describing what you do), and get what you want (by better articulating what you want).

“Sarah combines her experience in athletics, writing, and design to teach in a relatable way that inspires growth. This course not only evolves the way you think and create, but helps you hone your sales and persuasion skills. So, you come away with a fresh set of tools and the know-how to apply them to your business, career, or creative projects. Two words: do it.” — Matt Hunckler

“Her content is always thought-provoking and will force you to confront the challenge of executing your best ideas. She studies where great ideas come from and helps individuals and businesses do great work.” — Cycle 1 participant.

What will you need?

You’ll need an inquisitive mind and a curiosity about how to improve your writing ability. The course works best if you bring an open-mind and a gentle countenance—behind the doors we like to create a warm, respectful atmosphere for collaboration and creation. You’ll need about three hours per week for coursework, an hour to watch videos, and anywhere from three to five hours to work on your writing projects. In the past, students have set up time in the evenings and on the weekends to do the course—it’s best to plan ahead and carve out a few hours for your work to get the most out of the class.

Limited pre-enrollment closes May 25th:

Class begins on June 30th — and early-bird enrollment closes May 25th. Early bird registrations get a $100 discount off of either the registration for the live class or the self-guided class.

Can’t wait to see the new class!

Want to be a better storyteller? Two new online workshops, April 24th and 29th.

Posted on April 18, 2014April 18, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Humans are born storytellers. The way we tell and share our stories about who we are, what we do, and what we want affects who sees us, hears about us, and whether or not the right people connect with us.

If you want to learn how to describe yourself or your business (or both), join me at one of the following live storytelling workshops.

I’ve taught storytelling and narrative writing workshops live across the country—from the World Domination Summit to Bold Academy to General Assembly, and now I’m teaching two of these workshops as live online webinars that you can access from anywhere. Previously these workshops were only offered in person—if you’ve wanted to attend a class (or you’re curious about the upcoming writer’s workshops), join this one-day class.

Join me on Thursday, April 24 and Tuesday, April 29 for two 90-minute sessions on storytelling, narrative, and psychology.

“One of the best classes I’ve ever taken at General Assembly.” — Craig, General Assembly workshop participant

“Amazing class. I learned so much—left with pages packed full of notes.” — Joel, WDS workshop participant.

Storytelling 1.0: Crafting narratives for individuals and businesses. Thursday, April 24th, 1pm EST. $30.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN: This introductory class will cover narrative form and storytelling tools that are practical and quickly implementable for many communication needs ranging from a personal biography to the description of your company. Understand the role of your audience; the psychology of your readership, and why asking certain questions will make storytelling much easier.

You’ll learn how to dissect the various mediums where messages are told, how to modify your story based on the place you’re telling it; how to identify your values and your audience’s values, and the power of lyrical descriptions in your story. We’ll also cover basic psychological principles of understanding and why this is important for how you craft your message.

HOW IT WORKS: This private online webinar will be hosted LIVE at 1PM EST. The webinar includes 90-minutes of lecture, visual, and presentation materials followed by 30-minutes of open question-and-answer sessions—ask anything you’d like and get feedback on your story + listen in to the questions of others!

Can’t make it live? The webinars will be recorded with a private link of the recording sent out to all participants.

PREPARATION: Bring pens, paper, and notebooks to write on. Bring a draft of your current biography and/or business description (you’ll be asked to re-write it during the webinar based on the key principles we cover).

Register here: Storytelling 1.0: Live Webinar, Thursday, April 24th 1—3pm EST. $30.

“Sarah goes over five different frameworks for how to tell stories — this was the first time the Hero’s Journey really made sense to me in a modern context.” —Anne S.

“I never thought about how important value systems were to storytelling—once she described it, it was a huge “Ah-ha” moment for me. Now I know which stories to tell when.” — Jeremy H.

“The simple idea that we all have many stories to tell took a lot of the pressure off—we don’t need to pick just one story. We can switch them out based on our audience and the medium.” — Leslie.

Storytelling 2.0: Leadership, sticky messages and the psychology of persuasion. Tuesday, April 29th 1pm EST. $30.

ABOUT THIS CLASS: This second session of the two-part storytelling series can be taken independently or in conjunction with Storytelling 1.0. In this class, we look at the stories that great leaders use to inspire; why (and how) to use emotion in your stories, and the persuasive benefits of a great story. This class includes a deeper dive into case studies of great stories (and not-so-great stories) to better grasp the concepts. In our time together, I’ll even show how Finding Nemo can teach us how to engage audiences from the beginning of your story with clever hooks and curiosity gaps.

Can’t make it live? The webinars will be recorded with a private link of the recording sent out to all participants.

Register here: Storytelling 2.0: Live Webinar, Tuesday, April 29 1—3pm EST. $30.

“It makes so much sense—leadership stories are different than other stories, because the objectives are different. Now I can see how people tell future-based stories and I realize how powerful they are.” — Sam

“This class takes a deep dive into your own personal Hero’s Journey narratives based on the work of Carol Pearson—I finally understood how I was living out my own Orphan narrative. This class was better than therapy.” —(Anonymous).

“Sarah is one of the warmest and kindest people I know. Work with her, she will be a change-maker and an incredibly valuable asset to your team or life.” — Jana Schuberth, Owner, Love Work Now

Creating your own weekly review: Robert Cooper on finding ways to be exceptional.

Posted on April 15, 2014April 15, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Living up to your potential sounds pretty fancy. It’s something we all want, right? Live up to your potential. Maximize your potential. Be all that you can be.

But how, exactly, do you do it? How does an intangible life objective become manifest into your daily routine? For Robert Cooper, author of The Other 90%: How to unlock your vast untapped potential for leadership and life, accessing our own hidden intelligence and achieving our potential lies in better understanding neuroscience and trusting our brains in order to unlock our full capacity.

What did you do last week?

What did you do last week? What did you do yesterday?

A friend of mine was chatting with me recently, and he confessed that he’d get to the end of his day and he would forget what it was that he had done during the day. He’d look at his to-do list and realize, “Oh, right—I did some account desk settings, some client help, answered emails, built my next list…”—but when prompted with a question, he couldn’t remember. Nothing stood out.

Our brains are designed to help keep us safe and warm—comfortable and secure. Cooper describes how this part of our brain works:

“A powerful part of the brain, the amygdala, wants the world to run on routine, not change. Located within the limbic system, an ancient area of the mind that deals with the way you perceive and respond to the world, the amygdala relentlessly urges us to favor the familiar and routine. It craves control and safety, which at times can be vital.”

The amygdala serves as the center of our brain to keep us safe and secure. When deciding between doing something new and something familiar, we’ll be steered to the familiar. This is helpful in many ways—but in terms of growing beyond your comfort zone, not so much.

“The amygdala’s instincts, which have evolved over thousands of years, tend to spill over into every aspect of life and promote a perpetual reluctance to embrace anything that involves risk, change, or growth.”

And here’s the kicker:

[tweetable hashtag=”—Robert Cooper via @sarahkpeck”]”Unless you choose to consciously override this brain tendency, you’re consigned to repeating the past.”[/tweetable]

After understanding how our brains operate to keep us safe, he devised a simple mechanism to “overcome our natural resistance to growth.” By regularly asking two questions—whether it’s by taping them to our bathroom mirror; scheduling a meeting with ourselves weekly, or having a journaling practice—we can begin to override the amygdala’s tendency to keep us safe and secure.

He recommends asking yourself two questions:

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What did you do last week that was exceptional?[/tweetable]

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What can you do next week that no one expects of you?[/tweetable]

Defining exceptional:

Exceptional might be loving more; it might a tender moment. It might be resting more, or doing less. What is exceptional for you—taking your child to school and holding his hand and listening to his stories—might be different for the next person.

For me, this week, I’ll follow up with my clients and prospects and touch base with people just to let them know I’m thinking of. This week, I’ll plan a brand-new webinar and teach myself a new software program to run more online classes. And this week, I’ll do week 6 of The Artist’s Way, a project still in fruition for me. Those are the exceptions to my week. Those are the pieces that are somehow difficult for me, and that will make this week above and beyond last week.

Breaking down ‘exceptional’ into weekly increments—noticing what’s different from one week to the next; understanding how a little bit more, or a little bit different this week can be the work that matters—is both tangible and do-able, and keeps you on track.

That way, when fifty-two weeks add up to a year as they always seem to do, you can look back and think, wow. That year was great.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What will you do this week that’s exceptional?[/tweetable]

Want to stand out?

Posted on April 10, 2014April 10, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

In a recent conversation with Daniel Epstein (founder of the Unreasonable Institute and more recently Unreasonable Media), we started talking about what people do to stand out. And we agreed–it’s not that complicated:

Ask for what you want.
Follow up on that ask.
And then follow through.

In the following example, all of my numbers are made up. But let’s play with a couple of assumptions.

Let’s say only 10% of people actually put themselves out there and ask for what they want. And of the people that ask for something, again only 10% of them follow up on that ask. And of the people who successfully ask for something, and then follow up, many of them in turn don’t actually follow through with what they’ve asked for or said that they are going to do.

10% of 10% is 1% — you’re one in a hundred if you ask and follow up.

And 10% of 10% of 10% (0.001) is one in a thousand if you ask, follow up, and follow through.

ASK.

Why don’t people ask? You know that it happens. You want something, but you don’t put it out there. Your psychological blocks and assumptions preclude you from putting your desire out there. You don’t have clarity on what you want—so you need to do some internal work. You let fear get the best of you.

Here are a few things you can ask for: “I want you to give me more money.” In a conversation with a colleague or boss, “I think we need to renegotiate our terms,” or in the universe itself, “I want to learn how to play the Piano–who has a piano I can have?”

FOLLOW UP.

And then, after you ask, you forget to follow up. That email that you were going to send, to say “thank you” that you put off. To write and say, “Hey, we talked about the fundraising that I’m doing and I’d love for you to be a part of it. Can you contribute before the end of the month?”

When you asked someone to interview them and you circle back and say, “Thanks for agreeing to this; let’s put something on the calendar. I just had a new baby, so is it alright if I pencil us in for next summer and I’ll circle back them?”

When you ask someone to do you a favor and they take the time and energy to do it for you, so you write them a short note or card—telling them you appreciate it. [tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]This is how you stand out—and unfortunately, most people don’t do it.[/tweetable]

FOLLOW THROUGH.

And then, when the donation comes in, or your partnership is aligned, following through with what you’ve promised: reaching out and saying Thank You. Showing up when you said you’ll show up. Sending them the fiscal reports when you’re successful. Reaching out even if it’s half a year later to say, “It took longer than I expected, but here’s the book I was telling you about.”

It’s simple, although in execution requires an incredible amount of discipline on your part to achieve. But the recipe isn’t that hard.

Want to stand out?

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]If you want to stand out, follow this three-step formula:[/tweetable] Ask for what you want. Follow up. Follow through.

For an epic post on asking for what you want, check out the art of asking, the second highest read post on this blog to date. Thanks to Daniel Epstein, Amber Rae, and Allie Siarto for conversations on this topic.

How do you combat loneliness? A brand new talk at ALIVE in Berlin + an epic scholarship opportunity worth $400.

Posted on April 2, 2014April 2, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Loneliness by Deviant Art

How do you deal with loneliness?

The problem with my first job wasn’t the job itself—it was how few people I knew at the company. In most structures throughout my life—family, school, college, sports—we bonded as teammates and community members because of shared goals, ideas, and dreams. Yet at work, I barely had friends. Perhaps it was the age disparity; the fact that people started quietly only a few days per year, or because we didn’t have a common lunch area. Being busy chasing financial goals didn’t help, either. At the end of my first year, I found myself tired, alone, and unsure of what I was contributing as an entry-level employee.

I made a vow to change a few things. I joined two sports groups—a morning swim team and a triathlon training group. I signed up for my first yoga community practice. And I started going to events. I found meet-up groups, lectures and workshops, and conferences to attend. In one year, I met more than 500 new people—many of whom are now, ten years later, some of my closest friends.

What is loneliness? Where does it come from?

What is loneliness? Where does it come from, and why do we experience it? How can we combat it—and better yet: why is it useful?

For the past year, I’ve been researching loneliness, community and the power of connectivity, and I’ll be debuting a new keynote at ALIVE in Berlin this May looking at the structures that create loneliness, why community and connectivity are so important, and what we can do to help reconnect both to ourselves and to other people. As a bonus, I’ll also be teaching a workshop on the power of connection—and tips on how to connect with other people through understanding the physical body (your posture and stance); through your story (and what you say); and by being open and asking questions.

One of the most important ways I’ve met new people and found my tribes is through attending and joining conferences that gather like-minded people together. From WDS (Portland) to Big Omaha (Nebraska) to The Feast (New York + Global) and TED (Global), each time I’ve taken the jitters of traveling alone, taken a deep breath, and tried to meet kind faces and reach out and extend my ties to the world by meeting more of the humans we share space with.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]The strength of your life comes from the people you surround yourself with.[/tweetable]

What does a woman who lives with hens and roosters on a farm out in the middle of England decide to do after building a thriving virtual and in-person coaching practice? Start a conference, of course.

Jana Circle
I met Jana Schuberth at the first World Domination Summit (one of my favorite conferences—you can check out the yearly recaps as a testament to the experience). We both wandered through Portland, Jana with bare feet, me in my yoga clothes—and chatted about nutrition, exercise, paleo diets, motivation, and personal development. She’d made the trek over to the States from Loughborough, England, and our late night chats meant it was an instant kinship—we still chat by Skype as often as we can schedule it across projects and time zones.

I had a chance to sit down with Jana and interview her about her story, how she writes, and the challenges of blogging. As she says, “I’m probably a bit crazy to be doing this all, but I looked around and I really wanted the WDS experience here in Europe.” She describes chatting with a mentor about wanting someone to build similar conferences in Europe and her home country, Germany; to which her mentor replied:

“If you really want something like this, you’re going to have to be the one to build it.”

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]“It’s your job to build what you want to see in the world.”[/tweetable]

With a bit of excitement and nerves, she realized—Yes, that’s it. Somehow, we’re going to throw a conference next year. Alive in Berlin was born.

Alive in Berlin Banners—1

Alive in Berlin: A global conference for change-makers

I have a soft spot in my heart for do-ers and makers; and this conference aims to collect them in one space. If you’re curious about the conference, check out Alive in Berlin (and read the end of this post for an incredible scholarship opportunity to the conference).

Some things to know: The conference is in Berlin. Registration fees are £349.00. Dates are May 30-31. It will be gorgeous Springtime in the epic city of Berlin (I’m staying a few extra days to explore the city—I’ve heard the street art is phenomenal and the late night dance parties epic, in addition to exploring the cities’ rich and vibrant history).

From the ALIVE team:

“Alive in Berlin is not just about getting a temporary hit of inspiration, it’s about making deep connections and coming away with a solid plan of action. Rather than leaving with your head in the clouds, overwhelmed with information and ideas and ultimately coming back down to earth with a bump, we want you to feel confident, re-energised and ready to wholeheartedly step all areas of your life up to the next level over the long-term.”

“The two-day event will include 8 brilliant expert speakers from a wide range of disciplines, space throughout the weekend for relaxed conversation and interaction, daily Q&A sessions where you can interact directly with many of our speakers and coaches, and opportunities to get active and involved for those who want to. There will also be a chill room and coffee corner to relax, reflect and take time out if you need to!”

Together we’ll explore the common threads that connect us and make us come alive.

And the EPIC April Giveaway: One scholarship space to ALIVE in Berlin—all the details (and a short application)!

Want in?

The thing about conferences is, they often cost a couple of bucks. I know—one year I went to 24 different events—from Big Omaha to The Feast to WDS to Startup Weekend Los Angeles. I was averaging a conference or event every other weekend—and I was exhausted. And it was the bulk of my eating and entertainment budget for the year (let’s just say I ate a lot of granola bars and hardboiled eggs).

But I wouldn’t change that year for the world.

The thing about conferences is, they’re also one of the best places to meet new people. People in your tribe, people who speak your language, people who have what you want, people who want what you have to offer. Sometimes it’s a late-night chat and a fitness conversation; sometimes it’s a life-long friend, sometimes it’s the right designer for your project or a place to crash the next time you travel to that new city.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]Finding your tribe—people who understand you—is life-changing.[/tweetable] As adults, there aren’t as many opportunities to mix up the sandbox and say hello to knew folks. To meet new friends. When you have the same job, the same commute, and the same screen every day, our opportunities for adult summer camp and friendship quickly dwindle. Conferences are places to let you come out of your current storyline and try a new route for your own adventure.

As a bonus—because I’m a speaker at the event—I have one scholarship ticket to ALIVE in Berlin to gift to a lucky reader in this community.

If you’re itching to go to Berlin, to shake up your life, or find a new community, one lucky winner will get to win ONE ticket to the conference.

How do you win? Here’s what you’ve gotta do:

First, leave a comment down below! Tell us a conference story: what have conferences done for you? Where do you find and meet new people? What’s been the best event for you so far?
Second, share this post. Heart it, tweet it, post it, write about it. Simple. Click to tweet: [tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin]Epic April Giveaway: One scholarship space to ALIVE in Berlin![/tweetable]
Third, apply for the scholarship with this application form.

Winner will be picked on Friday, April 11, 2014. Turn in your application by Thursday, April 10, 2014. You have one week to enter—good luck!

The scholarship is for £249 off the ticket price. The scholarship ticket will be £70 (to cover basic event fees + registration fees) towards the ticket price. If selected, you will have one week to purchase the ticket.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]Bravery is encouraged. Authenticity rewarded.[/tweetable] Tell us, what makes you come ALIVE?

To listen to the full interview with Jana Schuberth and Sarah Peck, listen here:

The problem with thinking too big…

Posted on March 31, 2014March 31, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

“Dream big. Reach for the stars. The only limit is in your mind.” How often do you hear these words? We’re filled with the power of positive mantras in motivational texts, books, and seminars. The problem with expansive thinking, however, is that too big can be just as much of a problem.

The problem of thinking too big, however,

is that you’ll forget to get started.

Or you’ll become afraid of getting started.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]The more you dream, the bigger it becomes, the harder it can be to begin.[/tweetable] And sometimes, dreaming can get in the way of taking action. Over time, the practice of not starting becomes the best habit you have—another day to practice not starting, not doing anything.

Action is difficult. Deciding is painful. Manifestation, by definition, requires limitation. In order to make something real, you need to carve out and throw out all of the possible ways that something will not be. To make requires substance and grounding. It requires physicality and reality. It inherently means you limit the dream.

As you sketch your dreams for your life and career, you can have multiple jobs. You can own multiple businesses. Make multiple projects. But dwelling in dream land can hinder action.

The longer you hold onto an idea, the more the idea becomes a part of your identity, and the more wrapped up you become in making sure that idea is what will become the reality. The more goal-oriented and dream-oriented, the harder it gets to start. And if you hold on for too long, that idea of perfect execution becomes so big and monstrous, that if you take action—especially if you take action and fail—you’ll have killed or damaged part of your identity, part of what you’re yearning and hoping for. By chasing the dream with action, you put yourself in a scary place: a place where you might not get what you want.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]Making dreams become real is a scary business.[/tweetable] Ignorance can be a blessing. You sidestep the part where you get distracted by all of your fears of failure because you haven’t been able to imagine them yet.

Sometimes hope and patience can turn a dream into an enormous mental glorification, resulting in the worst sin of all:

Not starting.

Specifically, not starting because of fear of failure. Because if you fail, you’re not what you thought you would be.

Our minds get in the way sometimes. [tweetable hashtag=”—@sarahkpeck”]Stop that thinking.[/tweetable]

Get started.

Big-picture thinking has its place. So does action. Sometimes you have to get out of your head, into the world, into the making, and start testing. Start building. Make a small thing, make a bunch of mistakes, shake it off, keep going. Over time, you can iterate. Test a couple ideas.

Worry less about getting there and more about being here.

But if you don’t start—you won’t go anywhere.

Do something.

Do Something — Book excerpt Want a bit more motivation? A few years ago, I put together a mini-book on motivation with hand-drawn notes, quotes, and words to get you going. The book is available by donation or for free through Gumroad. If you want a copy, grab your own—it’s free if you’d like it.

The Write Life’s bundle: massive sale for writers!

Posted on March 17, 2014March 17, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

The Writer's Bundle: Epic Resources

Writing is powerful stuff.

I teach several writing courses as a tool to gain insight into your inner wisdom, access your inner soul, and pen your own stories. If you’ve been itching to write, yesterday I shared several of my favorite resources in the March edition of my behind-the-scenes newsletter.

Today, I’m excited to share a few more awesome resources on writing, publishing, and marketing that you might love. If you want to know learn more about publishing, writing, building your own business, and marketing from some of my favorites—Seth Godin, Jenny Blake, Chris Guillebeau, Ali Luke, Alexis Grant and more—keep reading.

The Write Life Bundle—an epic steal at $79:

Want to know more about publishing, creating kindle books, marketing your book, developing your business, promoting your work, and engaging your audience? The Write Life packs a powerful punch in this bundle of nine different e-resources—a collection of books and courses that normally runs for more than $700 individually.

The bundle features:

Chris Guillebeau’s Unconventional Guide to Publishing (ebook and audio, retails for $129)
Jeff Goins’ How to Start Publishing for Kindle (ebook and audio, retails for $47)
Kristi Hines’ The Ultimate Blog Post Promotion Course (course, retails for $197)
Jenny Blake’s Build Your Business (course, retails for $75)
Tom Ewer’s Paid to Blog (course, retails for $29)
Sophie Lizard’s The Freelance Blogger’s Client Hunting Masterclass (course, retails for $98)
Alexis Grant’s Social Media for Writers (course, retails for $99)
Danny Iny’s Interview on Building an Engaged Community (audio + transcript, exclusive)
Ali Luke’s The Blogger’s Guide to Irresistible Ebooks, plus Publishing an Ebook Audio Seminar (ebook and audio, retails for $29 + $19.99)

The catch? It’s available for three days ONLY; the offer expires Wednesday, March 19 at midnight EST. That means if you’re interested, you’ve gotta act now!

Click here for more details and to get your hands on this bundle.

What is it about writing that’s so important?

People ask me why I teach a writing course.

To me, it’s so much more than writing. Writing is just the surface.

My deeper belief is that we’re all in need of connection to ourselves, as well as connection to each other. Writing, marketing, copy—it’s all just a way to tell stories and share them with our tribes. With the people that matter. When I look around, I see too much loneliness and disconnection. In plain English this means we’re kind of miserable, kind of bored, and kind of lonely—and we don’t know why.

Writing is one of the many tools we have to connect more deeply into our own inherent wisdom—and to tell stories that connect us to other people. Sometimes we forget how extraordinary writing is. It takes us out of our heads and lets us share a part of ourselves beyond our physical presence—we can share our ideas and our words in a space where other people can connect and learn about who we are.

Because of this, I’m sharing the writer’s bundle—for you to keep writing, of course!

Seth Godin’s Marketing Master Class—Another crazy steal at $10 for the class:

Want to learn more about mastering marketing with one of the all-time best marketers to date? Seth is offering another great skillshare class, available for $20 (or only $10 per student if you use my link). The course covers the following aspects of marketing:

11 questions about your role and your leverage;
An action theory of marketing;
The 14 “P” words that you need to know;
Specific marketing concepts and exercises;
Case studies in action.

$10 for a marketing class with Seth Godin?

Crazy. CRAZY SAUCE. Am I right?

Previewing next summer:

But what about your courses, Sarah? When are you teaching again?

Awww, thanks for asking!

Many of you know that today’s the day I wrap up teaching three different courses—our Writer’s Workshop, the Content Strategy course, and the Grace & Gratitude courses that I’ve taught this Winter quarter. It’s been a pleasure and a joy to journey together with more than 160 different faces through each of these workshops. After 3 months of back-to-back teaching, I’m editing and refining the program and will be brining out the next round of courses sometime later this Spring or early Summer (mark your calendars!).

Until then, go get your hands on one of these amazing programs, and — keep writing.