Category: Reflection

A 4-Step Guided Framework for Journaling and Gaining Immediate Clarity

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

How I used Think Clearly’s Clarity Cards to inspire wisdom and peace at the end of my pregnancy. I wrote this out when I was eight months pregnant, and it helped tremendously.

Writing things down helps me understand things better.

As a nine-month pregnant lady living on stitched-together patches of sleep, planning for new motherhood, and wrapping up my many projects in startup land, finding time to write (and write coherently) is becoming an increasing struggle.

Suffice it to say, my book writing has gone a little bit haywire.

Instead, I journal as often as I could, whenever I can.

Sometimes it’s at 3 AM in the morning if the baby kicks me awake (or gives me one of those yelp-inducing punches to the bladder), sometimes it’s late at night to get me to go to sleep, and more often than not, it comes out in scribble notes in my iPhone while on the way in and out of the city on Manhattan’s clunky old C-train.

Pregnancy is both never-ending, and over so suddenly, so I want to write about it and capture it while I can.

(And if you’re only having one or two kids, you’re only pregnant for so long: and then you’re not. Maybe ever again.)

I want to understand it. I want to catalog it. I want to explain it, tell the stories of pregnancy.

Yet understanding pregnancy and being pregnant are so monumental. What does it mean? How does it feel? Who am I, and how is that changing?

So I used the Clarity Cards to spend 12 minutes journaling about pregnancy, and surprised myself with how quickly I charted out thoughtful ideas, insights, and clear perspectives on being pregnant.

A guided framework for journaling and gaining clarity

The deck of cards was surprisingly simple to use.

It walks you through four steps.

For each step, you take 2–3 minutes to write down as much as you can. You can go longer if you’d like, or keep it short and simple. The first step is the simplest, and by getting your pen onto paper quickly, it makes the process easier. Much like Julia Cameron writes about in The Artist’s Way, just getting pen on paper and making a list can be an extraordinary way to dive into your mind.

Here’s how I did it:

Prep: Grab some pages to write on.

I have a Moleskine I love using, and so I cleared fresh sheets and got out a teal blue pen to write with, because that sounded like fun. Make sure you’re not distracted (I prefer a Moleskine or loose paper on a desk without any other items on it — no computer, phone, or other distractions. Yes, take off your Apple Watch!). Have a timer ready.

Next: Choose a topic or area of focus.

Choose a topic or a subject. I suppose you could just let something tumble out, or try to define a problem. For my sake, and as the example in this essay, I chose “Pregnancy” as the topic, because I was struggling to understand it, and these prompts helped me unpack it.

I then stacked the four sets of cards out face-down in front of me in four piles, and started a timer.

Step 1: The Facts

The first set of prompts is related to “the facts.” I pulled my first card, and it simply said, “What are the facts?”

I began by making a simple list.

I am pregnant. I have swollen and sore feet. I am doing Mathias’ Clarity Cards. I’m in the 9th month. I weight X pounds… (and more, but I won’t tell you all the details right now).

I pulled another card and continued listing. The prompts said things like “What is going on?” and “What is happening?”

My observations: It was easy to begin with a simple list of what the facts are. Even just the act of writing “I am pregnant” somehow makes it seem more real. I know, of course, that I’ve got a watermelon belly and I’m waddling around the city peeing at every coffee shop I can find, but still — it helps to list out all of the pieces of this puzzle, no matter how obvious.

The act of list-making can be profoundly useful as an instrument for getting inside of your own mind and beginning the process of journaling. Never underestimate the power of making lists.

Step 2: Feelings

The second set of prompts asks you to write down how you feel about the situation. Prompts included questions like “What gives you energy?” and “What are you sad about?” and other guided questions to help you understand how you feel about the situation.

Again, I spent a quick 2–3 minutes on the next clean page in my Moleskine journal to jot down as much as I could. I spent about a minute per card and wrote whatever came to mind first.

Observations: It was wonderful to parse out facts versus feelings. It’s one thing to be pregnant (fact), and it’s a completely separate thing to have a set of feelings about it (excited! happy! scared! kind of in shock!). My list included things like “I feel like a beached whale,” and “My stomach is really tender in the center,” and “I feel much more vulnerable and in need of protection than my normal, ambitious, athletic self.” It went from physical feelings to deeper emotional layers, like “I feel like my identity is transforming,” and “there are parts of me that are changing so quickly, it’s hard to get used to.”

It can be difficult to separate out feelings and facts, and this was an easy way to do it. In addition, the act of taking time to focus just on feelings let a lot of them tumble out. If you’re not used to talking about your feelings, having a guided set of cards prompt you through it can help you find awareness.

Step 3: Insights

The third set of questions asks you to probe a bit further. What are you learning, deducing, and understanding? How are you interpreting these facts and feelings? What insights have you gained? This step takes you from observation to analysis.

I stumbled a bit here, because the first question was “What insights have you gained?” and I felt myself think dismissively, “Um, none.”

So I began this third step the way the whole process began, which was: simply.

My first insight? “Drinking a lot of water helps the headaches go away.”

From there, it became easier to write out insights, and because I was writing quickly, it was almost startling how fast I dug into deeper insights. Once I started, it was like they were ready to come tumbling out of me. “Rest yourself as often as you recharge your iPhone, if not more,” and “It’s your own learning process and your own journey, unique to you,” and “Take time to reconcile external readings and advice with your own internal wisdom,” all made it onto my list of insights about the experience of pregnancy.

Yes, this.

Gosh I felt smarter just writing it down. Nodding my head. It was like the wisdom was there all along, but I hadn’t had a clear way of seeing it.

Intuitively, I know that each of these things are true, but the act of writing them down made them stronger, more powerful. They reminded me how important they are. They clarified, for me, what insights I have at my fingertips, if I’m willing to sit for a few minutes and record, reflect, and listen.

Step 4: Actions

The fourth and final section is about creating a set of actions that you’re going to take. What can you do with what you’ve observed, noticed, and felt? What steps can you take next?

At first, I was confounded. What “actions” do I take with “pregnancy”? There was a list I could draw up quickly, like “pack your hospital bag, set up an email auto-reply, stock your freezer with food,” but those seemed like just another list of tasks and errands. I could make a to-do list in my sleep; how could I apply this more broadly to a reflective session focused on the holistic concept of “pregnancy” and everything that it entailed?

Then the ideas that came forward seemed both obvious and silly. I wrote them down:

Decisions to be made:
— It’s okay for the baby to come.
— We are ready.
— This will be great.
— We can handle this.

What am I going to do?
— Give birth.
— Become a mom.
— Work hard during labor and delivery!
— Rest fully and recover well.

What is the next step?
— Rest. Allow. Enjoy. Be.

And Exhale.

The power of putting words to paper continues to astound me. Twelve minutes of writing and journaling later, and there’s a renewed sense of calm about the transition that’s coming up ahead of us.

Recognizing that then, at the end of my pregnancy, I was getting ready to meet my little boy and bring him into the world — this makes me tear up. And it’s okay. The next things to do are to be here, in the moment. And to decide: decide that it’s okay, that we’re ready, and that it’s time. And to rest, allowing the process to unfold. I have a bit of work ahead of me as I achieve the physical feat of pushing a new human out into the big world ahead, and I think it’s going to be great. I can’t wait.

What Questions Are You Asking? (Three Questions For Reconnection)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

We are the questions we ask.

We are the way we inquire, curiously, about the world we work in.

As I was going through what was (for me), a difficult pregnancy, I looked to my partner and asked, time and time again:

“How do I make it through this?” 

It’s hard to believe now, but there were moments when I didn’t know whether it was worth it. I can go back and tell myself clearly now that yes, it’s absolutely worth it.

But then? Then, it was so hard.

How could I connect what I was doing in my body, what I was feeling, to what was coming ahead of me? 

And in his own frustration, he asked me,

“Well is there anything that you ARE excited about?” 

I realized that some of the worry, the stress, and the negativity — it was consuming me. It was becoming always. Everywhere.

We paused.

And began a simple ritual. A pattern of questions, each night, to help guide our minds towards the positive reflection, even amidst the challenges of near-constant vomiting.

#1: What was the best part of your day?

We whispered the questions to each other at night, just before drifting off into dreamland.

I’d have my pillows piled high under my knees and thighs, a body pillow wrapped around me to prop me up.

What are the moments that went right? What were the good pieces and the good bits?

And we’d look. We’d look hard, we’d look slowly, we’d find, we’d savor, we’d discover. Amidst the pain of it all, we’d find something. A sliver, a thread, a joy. 

#2: What are you grateful for?

We’d make a list of things that we were grateful for. 

I’m grateful that my body is working. I’m grateful that this is all working. I’m grateful that you’re here, even if I’m vomiting, and we get to clean up this mess together. I’m grateful I have a job.

Hope lifted upwards, wrapping me in its hug.

#3 What are you looking forward to about this?

In this case, “this” was the future arrival of our baby boy. Each night, we’d mention something we were looking forward to. Something in our hopes and dreams about this baby we were making.

This baby that was taking my energy, my body, my shape, my memory, my sleep. 

I’m looking forward to hearing him cry for the first time.

I’m looking forward to taking him on bike rides.

I can’t wait to hold his hand and feel his tiny fingers and toes.

I’m looking forward to discovering how he sees the world.

Through these questions of reflection, we’d connect.

We’d connect over our journey into becoming new parents. He would tell me about what he was scared of, what he was hopeful for, what he was imagining in the future.

We’d whisper it together in bed, holding hands, passing out like rockstar adults in the wee hours at 7 PM or 8 PM, on a lucky day.

Three questions to reflect

In the most challenging of times, try these on for size:

  • What was the best part of your day?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What are you looking forward to {about X}? 

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Want to hear more about the journey of being pregnant while working at a startup? I’m writing a new book and opening a new project to talk about growing businesses, growing babies, and being a mama in the working world. Find out more at www.startuppregnant.com.

How Do You Feel Before, During, and After?

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Today I want to share with you about a way to connect inwardly, with yourself. 

But first, a quick story.

I work with coaches. A lot of coaches. I’ve worked with college coaches, swim coaches, book coaches, life coaches… you name it, I like doing it. 

One of my most recent coaches has worked with me on deep, sticky, messy problems, and he consistently challenges me to level up in terms of how I grow. And how I even think about growth in the first place.

Suffice it to say, before our sessions, I start to get really anxious.

I don’t want to meet with him today.

I get a little panicky. I get frustrated. I yell (sometimes). 

“Maybe I’ll just quit coaching,” I tell my husband in a panic. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

He laughs at me. Kindly, though. Because I do this every single time.

Right before our sessions together, I start to get frustrated and nervous. I don’t always want to dig into the stuff that needs work.brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

And then we meet. And we dissect, analyze, and talk through the puzzles that are presenting themselves in my life at the moment. Sometimes I cry.brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

And afterwards? brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

Afterwards feels amazing. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

Afterwards I am so grateful, and so thankful. brings a lot of stuff up for me about how I learn, grow 

We unpack the stories, the narratives, the ideas, the messiness of mind, and we think about how it all layers together. And there’s relief, and freedom, and … joy. Joy in being human, in being alive, in being messy, in being like a playful little kid, experimenting, growing, and trying things out.

And my husband, he reminds me to remember that how I feel before is not the same as how I feel during, which is not the same as how I feel after.

When you’re feeling sticky or icky, or if you’re in a moment of decision-making, consider all of the layers of the feelings.

  • How do you feel before?
  • How do you feel during? 
  • How do you feel afterwards?

What you feel matters. It’s important to notice all of the feelings, not just some of them.

 

Take up SPACE

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Take up space.

Take up space with your body. With your gestures, with your height, with your size. If you’re petite, take up space. If you’re tall, take up space. Fill the room with the weight of your body, and then expand again with the weight of your soul.

Take up space with your voice. Lift it high and let it sink low. Take up space with your expressions, with your sounds, with the ability to use your voice.

Too often I see people shrinking, crouching, and cowering. They soften their voice, make their expressions delicate and demure, they speak passively and apologetically.

Do not apologize.

Do not shrink.

Fill the page with your words. With your ideas. With your sound.

Let your laughter fill a room. Paint the edges of the areas around you with your body. Use your body in new shapes that you haven’t tried on before. Yowl, squeak, whine, stamp, thud, creak, and wail in ways that are new to you.

You have this body, this voice, this ability, right now. Why not try it?

Because you are here, right now, for a moment.

Take up space.

With your body.
With your voice.
With your expressions.
With your words.
With your sounds.
With your ideas.
With your projects.
With yourself.

Focus On What You Can Do

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Being a new mom is suddenly, urgently grounding.

It’s hard to leave the house because, well, there’s a baby right there. He needs me. Unless I get a babysitter, daycare, or my husband is home, I’m here, and it’s me and the baby.

This makes so many things infinitely harder. Leaving the house? That’s pretty difficult to do with a brand new baby. Exercising? Hard to do solo, especially when the kid is too young to hold his head up, so we can’t do a jog together yet. Nevermind the fact that leaving the house to go exercising is far less appealing than, say, eating a pint of ice cream. For breakfast.

(This is a real craving I’ve had, and I just dissected this craving with The Cravings Whisperer Alex Jamieson on her podcast, and she says it’s totally okay as a new mom for me to eat a pint of ice cream daily. I’m going with it.)

But back to the present: there is a real baby in the house, and he’s made it far more challenging to get things done.

There is a temptation to focus on all of the things I can’t do right now.

But instead, I’m trying to figure out everything I can do instead.

When I can’t leave the house to go visit people? I can call them instead. I can text them, send cards, or host hangouts for my favorite people on the interwebs.

When I can’t call someone? I text them instead. I drop them an audio text (a voice memo sent via text, like a voicemail. But better.)

When I can’t run, I can walk instead.

If I can’t get outside to a class to exercise (boy, do I wish!), I can do a Seven Minute Workout in my house instead. My neighbor, who also has a new baby boy, says he does the 7-minute workout twice in the mornings, and that’s all he does for exercise.

I try to do the 7-minute workout twice each week. So there we go.

When you don’t have time for the 7-minute workout, you can practice deep breathing.

Meditate, even just for a moment.

Stretch while you’re waiting in line for something.

If you can’t walk, enjoy the time that you can sit.

When you can’t take a vacation, you can absolutely find a patch of grass to lie down in for ten minutes. A micro-vacation.

Lie down in the sunshine, close your eyes, and feel the late warmth of the summer sunshine. Let the grass tickle your elbows, let a dog lick your feet furiously. Kick off your sandals.

Focus on what you can do.

P.S. I’m opening up applications for my Fall 2016 Mastermind. There is space for 8 to 12 people. I’m looking for the right mix of ambitious, intelligent, quirky, creative people to bring together for accelerated success. We’ll start in September. Sign up for program details here. Applications close Sunday, August 14th.

How We See Ourselves: On Identity, Labels, and Privilege

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Do you know the story about when a man is asked to look in a mirror? He’s asked what he sees. He says “myself” (usually he says his name, “I see John,” etc).

A woman looks in the mirror and says, “I see a woman.”

A black woman says, “I see a black woman.”

How we describe ourselves says a lot about where our labels and distinctions lie. When you are an “other,” that identity is put in front of your name, your personhood. You are now a {category}, {category}, person.

We describe ourselves based on our inclusions and our other-ness. If we’re the only white person in a group of people of color, we might shift our narrative and self-describe as “I am a white man.” We define within and against the groups around us.

Listen to what labels you use to describe yourself. Are you a “quiet” person? This suggests that the norm is not to be a quiet person; that society expects extroversion and gregariousness to be the defining factors of human jubilance.

If you want to know what group of people has the most privilege in a culture or society, look for the group of people that just sees themselves as people, no labels.

The Necessity of Darkness

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

snow-dawn-sunset-winter-large

I popped out of bed this morning and thought to myself, boy, it’s really dark outside. Usually I pull the curtains back and there’s at least a tiny bit of light. I’m an early riser, and naturally wake up around 6AM, give or take when I get to sleep.

This morning at 5:56AM, it was so dark that nothing changed when I opened the curtains.

Are you sure we have to get up now?

Why the days feel darker than last month.

If you think it’s still getting darker and darker every day, and you’re an early riser like me, you’re partially right. The sunrise is still getting later and later, even though we’ve passed the winter solstice.

My Grandpa, a weatherman, taught me something cool about this. He always talks about rainfall and cold fronts and ice storms and seems to know what’s happening all across the country—notably because he’s got his television on the weather channel all day long.

He talked about the solstice for a bit, that darkest day of the year, it falls on around December 21st.

“Here’s a little trivia you might not know,” he said. “Do you know when the latest sunrise and the latest sunrise is?”

Do you? I thought they were on the same day: the solstice.

The solstice is the short day — the shortest period of daylight between a sunrise and a sunset.

It turns out the the earliest sunset, time-wise, is the period between December 1 and December 15 for 2015. The sunset occurred these days at 4:29PM (for New York City). Then it begins creeping back outwards: 4:30 for a few days, 4:31, 4:32pm.

The latest sunrise (and likely the hardest time to get out of bed, not counting daylight savings), occurs a few weeks later, between December 30 and January 10, at 7:20AM (also for New York City).

The shortest day happens as these two occurrences shift among each other, with the shortest length of day on December 21st. (If you’re as confused as I was, it’s because the earth is tilted on an axis and it’s “eccentric” according to the charts.) The sun rises later and later as the set gets longer… like a bit of a tango between the start and the end. It’s not perfect.

Why don’t the latest sunrise and earliest sunset happen on the same day?

It turns out that the concept of solar noon is important. This is the time midway between sunrise and sunset, when the sun is at the highest point in the day. The clock we use (24 hours) is not actually perfect with the period of the day (which is sometimes a minute longer than 24 hours), so the time when the sun is highest in the sky changes.

So, two weeks before the solstice, there are earlier sunsets. And two weeks after the solstice, there are later sunrises.

And now, in January, right as we all head back to work, thick off the heaviness of holiday food, tired from sleeping in for a few days — we’re right in the middle of the darkest mornings.

The sun will begin its tilt back up the clock on January 11th, and the sunrises will be back before 7am by February 8th (6:59AM to be precise).

In the western hemisphere, we’re right in the middle of the darkest time, the latest sunrises, the earliest sunsets. Winter is here, the days are getting colder, and we’re about to get colder before we emerge for Spring.

Why we need the darker days:

For me, I find this time a great time to slow down, dwell, think, and re-boot. I love the contemplation, reflection, and introspection that comes from this time of the year. I also know that I have to take better care of myself: it’s harder to exercise when it’s this cold and dark, but if I don’t do it, I’ll feel worse. In the summer it’s easy to want to play. In the winter, I work a bit harder just to show up to my yoga class or go for a walk. I do less, I think more, and I listen.

As Clark Strand writes in Bring On The Dark, the darkness is an opportunity:

“In centuries past, the hours of darkness were a time when no productive work could be done. Which is to say, at night the human impulse to remake the world in our own image — so that it served us, so that we could almost believe the world and its resources existed for us alone — was suspended. The night was the natural corrective to that most persistent of all illusions: that human progress is the reason for the world.”

What are you feeling like this winter? How’s the dance of darkness and depth of winter treating you?

What Are The Best Books On Life And Meaning You Should Have A Copy Of?

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

On my desk, there are a few stacks of books that surpass the kindle test. While I am a huge believer in the beauty of physical books, I also put an equal amount on my tablet. But beyond the bookshelves and the kindle — among the thousands of books my husband and I read — there are a few books that creep past the stacks and find a special space on my desk.

What does it take to pass this test, and become a beloved book, a treasure?

And what books do I recommend more than any other?

There are a couple stacks of books, depending on the nature of the topic, that I think are relevant for people to read. They speak to the human condition, to what it means to have a mind and live a life, and they aren’t how-to books.

Business books only take you so far. What then? What do you make of life?

For me, it’s less about knowing the right answer at the right time (as most business advice books are apt to do), but rather, finding solace and finding my own way when I feel lost. Below are the books I have on my desk as my personal bible — there to open and reference, time and time again, to reassure me, to remind me of the bigger picture.

These are books that talk about the human condition, the bigger picture to which we’re all a part, the ideas of finding meaning, purpose, identity, and dealing with ourselves — as we are, right here and right now. I read them, highlight them, dog-ear them, note in them, and then pass them along. These books are treasured as physical beings, markers for my life, wayfinders for my journey into my own mind. I’ve included a few quotes from each that carry weight for me:

1. When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”

“Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape — all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain.”

2. Man’s Search For Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.”

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

3. Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

4. Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.”

“Perhaps the most “spiritual” thing any of us can do is simply to look through our own eyes, see with eyes of wholeness, and act with integrity and kindness.”

“Life on earth is a whole, yet it expresses itself in unique time-bound bodies, microscopic or visible, plant or animal, extinct or living. So there can be no one place to be. There can be no one way to be, no one way to practice, no one way to learn, no one way to love, no one way to grow or to heal, no one way to live, no one way to feel, no one thing to know or be known. The particulars count.”

5. What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, by Haruki Murakami

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

“The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school.”

“So the fact that I’m me and no one else is one of my greatest assets. Emotional hurt is the price a person has to pay in order to be independent.”

6. The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer

“When a problem is disturbing you, don’t ask, “What should I do about it?” Ask, “What part of me is being disturbed by this?”

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind — you are the one who hears it.”

“Only you can take inner freedom away from yourself, or give it to yourself. Nobody else can.”

“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.”

7. The Bible —

While there are a lot of lines (or chapters) you may or may not agree with, and you might not be involved in the religion associated with the Bible, there’s something humbling about reading poetry and Psalms from thousands of years ago, and hearing the echo of humanity beat again in today’s world.

We are here.

8. A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

What would you add to this list? What books have changed your life, your mind, or your perspective?

How I Make My Morning Routine Work For Me

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I struggle to do a morning routine.

In my head, my morning routine is perfect: twenty minutes of yoga, twenty minutes of writing, twenty minutes of meditation before I start the day. There’s a steaming cup of tea, a sunny window, a book if I’m feeling leisurely. This is all in my dream. In my dream, I also don’t check email at all before I finish the routine, and I head out the door to work sunny and refreshed.

Reality check.

Some mornings are as blessed as the picture above. But many—if not all—of my mornings are a lot different. Some mornings I’m up and out to an early breakfast meeting; other days I’m on deadline and trying to get something out by 10AM. Those days, I often wake up thinking about work, checking email, proofing my deliverable, and hastily get ready to go out the door.

Some mornings my hand cradles my iPhone in bed, and before I’m even halfway awake, I drool over my Slack, Facebook, Email, and other notifications from the comfort of my Pajamas.

And some mornings I want to spend all of it writing.

Sometimes I look up from my computer and realize I haven’t exercised in three days.

Rather than give myself crap for not being able to execute a perfect morning routine every day of the week — and I’ll probably laugh at this post in the future when I have kids and/or I’m trying to do other crazy things — instead, I just try to do one minute of whatever it is I want to do in the morning. My morning routine flexes to meet my morning, and by giving myself permission to do “just one minute” I can stay in touch with the things that I want to be doing more of. Over time, my habits build in the direction that I want.

One minute at a time.

Just one minute of yoga… means I take the time to exhale, bend forward, touch my toes, and let my head hang. One minute lets me reach up to the sky, arch my back, and lean over to the left and then to the right.

Just one minute opens up my back body, my side body, and the backs of my legs.

Just one minute reminds me to breathe.

Just one minute of writing… means that I open up my document, peek at the clock, and think, maybe I can actually do five minutes. It means I type furiously and say,

“Here’s the state of the day, in one sentence: running off to my breakfast meeting, still stressed about all this hormonal acne that’s popping up on my jaw line, and been craving a lot of sugar lately. Stress signals are high! I want to schedule some down time later today. Maybe if I’m heading in so early I’ll leave by 4pm and head home! Also spending a lot of time thinking about organizational structure and interpersonal dynamics. Reading an awesome book called Managing Humans recommended by a colleague of mine. 200 words is good enough for today!”

(That’s actually a post from this week. I’m being honest here).

Just one minute of meditation… means that before I dart off into a land fueled by coffee and excitement, joining other New Yorkers in their epic quests for excellence (or insanity)— I get to sit down and touch base with the idea of doing less.

Of doing nothing. Of just being.

Meditation has been a bigger challenge for me, as a person who likes to run at full sprint ahead before the race has even been announced.

It’s hard for me to sit still.

The first several months I tried meditation were difficult. Sitting still felt incredibly uncomfortable. It’s been a couple of years now of flirting with meditation (I just finished my third series in the Headspace app!), and I’m finally comfortable with 20 minutes of meditation. Some days are easier, some days are harder.

I much prefer guided meditation and music-led meditations than sitting in silence with my extremely loud, chattering brain.

In time.

Just one minute.

We begin again.

When I let myself start, things begin to open up. When I remind myself, even for just a moment, of the things that I love and enjoy, it gets easier. When I stop and return to the things I want to do, the practices that I want to cultivate, it makes the next day even easier to begin again.

Every day, we begin again.

“Just keep touching it,” my friend says about writing my book. “Just keep going back.”

It’s the same with my yoga, writing, and meditation practices. We just keep showing up, even if it’s a second or a minute at a time.

The more you show up, the more it surprises you.

 

Go Your Own Way

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

“Squeezing your business (or career, or relationship, or lifestyle) into someone else’s plan hurts, and it denies your own self-leadership.” — Tara Gentile, Quiet Power Strategy

There are a lot of plans and products out there that sell you a process or a formula. It seems so sexy, doesn’t it? A prescription-ready answer for building your business, life, or idea?

There’s a reason that the word “how” is one of the top-performing headlines in the copywriting world.

How … to build a business
How … to start your own startup
How … to write headlines that get results.
How … to get clear skin, fast.
How … a certain entrepreneur built their multi-million dollar business from the ground up.

Take a look at what you click on today. How many headlines start with the word “how”?

Why the word “how”? Because we want desperately to have a result that we see others getting. So we want to know how they did it.

Be careful.

You’re charting your own path. You are a unique set of skills, circumstances, relationships, and desires that aren’t the same as someone else’s. Copying someone else’s process or language might sound silly on you.

Knowing how is so tantalizing.

But is it you?