Category: Tools+Systems

A Look Inside My Writing Habits

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Are you optimizing your writing habits?

We have a limited amount of attention, bandwidth, and energy. There are only so many “hacks” we can take before it’s going to become ever more important to cull the flow of information and set up systems that let us optimize for our strengths and internal design.

My writing and publishing is best done on a system that allows me to have some freedom, but within a structure. When I have a structure that I no longer have to think about when or why I’m writing, I’m then free to write without spending time wondering when I’ll actually do the writing.

What is a writing frame?

Frames are incredible important for both my own practice as well as for connecting to other people. A writing frame is a pattern or schedule that you stick to in your habit or practice. Some examples of writing frames are: publishing a new blog post every Monday at 10am, writing a monthly newsletter on the first of every month, or writing every weekday at 7am.

Podcasts, television shows, and great newsletters use these schedules to stay consistent. They also use them to communicate to the subscriber, reader, or viewer (you) when new content will arrive.

Think about the newsletters that you read. Do you appreciate ones that are regular and consistent? If it’s something you’re a fan of, you might be a regular reader: you know when your latest episodes of Silicon Valley go live, and when new episodes of your favorite podcast are released.

I’ve written previously about the 20 Mile March and why it’s so useful as a set-up for getting things done. Today I want to share how I’ve broken down my writing structure and why the frames are so helpful for me.

These are my personal writing frames:

A weekly blog, delivered every Monday at 10AM.

I publish a weekly blog at sarahkpeck.com/writing, every Monday at 10AM. (The newsletter ships at 10AM, but the post is scheduled to go live by 6AM Eastern time.)

I try to maintain a queue of posts that are ready to go for at least six weeks in advance, so I’m not operating at last minute. (This doesn’t always work out, but I do my best.) When I need a break, I follow the likes of Paul Jarvis and James Clear and announce that I’m taking a monthly break (this often happens in August for a summer sabbatical and in December/January, when most people are on winter holiday).

In the past, I committed to writing once per week, but I never committed to a specific date or time. This year, I’m increasing the rigidity of the structure by adding a day and a time to it.

Every Monday at 10AM, there’s a new post.

It’s my goal with this to get into a regular habit with my readers to deliver great essays right at the top of the week, when we’re primed to take action and set ourselves up for success.

A monthly newsletter, delivered on the 1st of every month.

On the first of every month, I write a popular newsletter that’s a round-up post linking back to all of the writing I’ve created, the best blog posts, and the newest offerings. I include a monthly writing practice, a review of best books I’d recommend, and links to the best articles I’ve read and think were worth sharing.

One of the things that’s important in my practice of writing a monthly newsletter is curating and culling. Finding ways to set up a structure and add limits allows me to reach for higher-quality work.

The structure of my newsletter is loosely based on the following:

  • A short opening essay (usually personal in nature)
  • A quiz or a question (”what should I teach or write next?”)
  • A round-up of top 4 posts, visually with links
  • Monthly journal practice
  • Book recommendations of the month
  • Quote of the month
  • Best of the web: top 10 links that are worth putting in your reading queue
  • Accountability: a tracker of my yearly goals and how I’m doing with them (books, meditation, exercise, and learning)

Here’s an example of a past newsletter that follows the structure above.

Daily, public journal.

Sometimes I just need a free place to write, free-form, to work through ideas. I’ve used this Tumblr at sarahkathleenpeck.tumblr.com for years as a place to house ideas, show my process, and write out new pieces.

Sometimes you’ll see an overlap as an idea develops here, and then moves to my more formal blog. Sometimes I take years off (see: having a baby in 2016), and then return to the writing practice time and time again. This frame is more of a house, or a home, and a place I know where I can always go to write. It’s not guided by a specific time but it’s a house all the same: it’s a place I can go write when I need to write in a flurry.

The components of a great frame:

Every time we reduce the amount of thinking we’re doing about the thing we want to actually be doing, we create more space to be doing what we wanted to do in the first place. Frames create a particular quality of freedom by removing the number of times you have to make a decision about how you’re going to behave in the future.

A work schedule is a frame, for example. When you’re committed to working between the hours of 10am and 5pm, that’s a specific pattern and your behaviors fall in line accordingly. (How you decide to spend the late evenings, when you get coffee, what you wear, etc, are all influenced by the work frame.)

A habit pattern or frame consists of the following:

  • A rhythm or a pattern tied to a specific recurring day or date.
  • A frequency (daily, weekly, etc) or total quantity (I will do this 100 times)
  • A specific time
  • A place where you do the work, and show up to do the work
  • A clear, actionable, specific (SMART) way to measure whether or not you’ve succeeded.

A writing frame that’s every Monday at a specific time (10AM), delivered via WordPress (my online home), publishing via blog and email, and looks like a published, live, blog post is a frame that works for me.

Past frames I’ve given up:

I’ve tried on other frames, like daily blogging, and that hasn’t worked for me successfully. I’ve tried publishing more frequently, and that erodes my available time for other things (like book writing, or running my Mastermind, for example).

What structures do you use to set yourself up for success? How do you plan out and map your own writing or creative practice?

One of my favorite things about the word “practice,” is that it reminds us that all we have to do is keep practicing. If we can optimize for making space to practice, with weekly rituals and reminders, then we’ll be doing the work.

Because doing the work is what matters more than almost anything else.

How will you set up your own frames for success?

Get Better at Scheduling Your Time, Get Better at Email (New Classes)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Do you ever get overwhelmed by scheduling your day, week, or month? Does email bog you down or frustrate you?

I’m teaching two new virtual seminars this November all about rethinking the way you schedule your week (November 9th) and becoming a jedi master with your email inbox (November 17th).

The seminars are 1-hour long, live, and will be recorded.

Registration is $49 per class.

Live Session 1:
Rethinking & Reinventing Your Schedule

Wed, November 9, 2016 1:00 PM Eastern
A 1-hour class plus live Q/A

About the session:

How do you think about the time in your week? How do you plan ahead, carve out time and space, and make certain activities a priority? In this one-hour webinar, I’ll walk you through a session of scheduling, planning, and re-thinking about how you organize your time. I’ll also share with you 8 key tips I use in planning my own time. If you want to rethink your week, your organization of time, and how you schedule and plan, join me. Register Now: Rethinking Your Schedule.

Live Session 2:
13 Ways to Become A Gmail Jedi Master

Thu, Nov 17, 2016 1:00 PM Eastern
A 1-hour class plus live Q/A

About the session:

Does email overwhelm your life, and you don’t know what to do about it? No one wants to be the best at emailing. We’ve got better things to do. Stop being overwhelmed by email. Start winning over your email inbox by learning these key insights and tricks that I’ve collected over the years to make email mastery work for you. And then, get back to building better things with your day and time. Register Now: Become an Email Master

October Monthly Writing Group: Routine

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Last week I posed a question in a few writing groups I’m in: would a monthly writing theme be helpful to you as a writer?

Do you want to write about a topic, a subject, or an idea together?

The answer was a resounding yes.

A monthly framework to write: join me for a new theme, each month.

So, let’s write together each month around a topic or a theme. Each month, I’ll put forward a topic for consideration with a call to write.

What’s in a monthly writing prompt?

  1. Read below to find out this month’s theme.
  2. Take the theme, explore it, and anytime this month (October 2016) write a poem, essay, or reflection of your choosing. You can take photos, post on Instagram, share on Twitter, or publish an essay.
  3. Leave a link to your work in the comments on this post. Share it using the hashtag #MoWriting (it’s short for “More Writing” and “Monthly Writing.”)

We can all read through the posts (check the links in the comments!) and get to know more of each other’s work and writing.

October’s writing theme: routines

Welcome to October, a time for introspection, reflection, and turning inwards.

Keeping in line with the idea of a monthly theme (which is itself a pattern and a routine), the first theme is all about Routine.

  • What does it mean to have a routine?
  • What does your routine look like?
  • What is routine, and what is not?
  • Does having a routine help you? When does having a routine not help you?
  • What are the routines in your relationships, your partnerships
  • What is your routine in your work?
  • Where do you want more, or less, structure and habit?

I find myself craving more routine as I take off on my next business adventure (yes, it’s happening already.) I’m drawing and detailing and designing in notebooks. I’m creating structures for expansion, creating places for community.

Why I’m creating this

Writing together has always held me accountable and let me dive deeper. Rather than flitting from one idea to the next, I want a way to dive deeper into a subject and explore it through multiple posts, as well as hear ideas from other authors, writers, and creators I admire. Using monthly themes and habits has been a successful tool in my own practice.

I’m borrowing these ideas from two organizations I admire greatly: Thousand Network has monthly themes for the Thousand Women’s Circle that I’m a part of, and Holstee’s Mindful Matter blog explores monthly themes, which I adore and have written for. So I will add to the room and create a monthly theme here on this website, for anyone who wants to join.

Going deeper with community

One of my desires is to find a way to bring more people together in community. Writing a blog alone is not enough; I want my business and my practice to bring creative people together. When we work together in creative ecosystems, collaborate on work (even if the work is first done solo), and find people to be in community with, our work grows richer and stronger.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a chance to see what happens with community through our writing groups, the Grace and Gratitude workshop, and in the private mastermind that kicked off a few weeks ago. (If you want to learn more about the next round of the Mastermind and put in an application for consideration, sign up here). Each time I admire how much you grow, especially as you learn from each other. If I can design things that bring people together — in community and around ideas — I’m content.

By finding and sharing your writing with each other — and by letting you discover each other through the comments and hashtags — I hope that you’ll all get to meet more of each other. I get to meet so many amazing people through writing on this blog, and I’m searching for ways to bring this community closer together over the coming years.

The prompts are free and the love is abundant!

So, go write about your routines, push publish on your essays and images, and leave a comment below with a link to your piece.

3 Writing Tools To Draft, Edit, and Publish Your Work

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

It Doesn’t Matter How You Do It

I should title this post “how to write every day” or “what tools I use to write every day” because the questions I get over and over again from so many different people are variations of the same questions:

“How do you start a daily writing habit?”

And:

“What tools do you use?”

If you’re struggling to decide between a notebook and a computer, the answer is yes.

Write it down.

Write on a computer when you’re near a computer and you have something to say. Write it on a paper when you have paper nearby.

Put it down in your notebook or on scratch pieces of paper or — heck I do this all of the time — borrow a pen from the waiter and write across napkins if you have to. Miranda July has some stories about how even pregnancy (and labor!) gave her so many ideas for stories and projects that she was searching for paper while bringing her child into the world.

Put it into your phone, if it’s on you.

So the tools, if you must know the tools:

CAPTIO

I use Captio (an app) on my iPhone that allows for recording notes offline and then emails them to my gmail account. In gmail, I label them all automatically with a filter called “notes.”

Gmail-notes

MOLESKINE

I use a Moleskine to write in every day. (I prefer the black, large, hardcover versions that are plain on the inside, like this.) In my notebook, I write down who I meet, my main observations from a particularly delightful meeting, short memories, quotes, stories, and relevant notes. Sometimes I write longer form essays or journal entries when I need a space to write. I’ll often write in it when I sit at a coffee shop and brainstorm without my computer. Each one lasts me about 3-4 months, and has about 200 pages in each one. I label them on the front and keep a stack on my bookshelves.

EVERNOTE

I write in Evernote as well, when I write on my laptop. I prefer offline tools to online tools because I have some bad internet habits (I literally do not know how I end up with 47 tabs open on a new browser window when I get online…). In my Evernote files, I have what’s called a “stack” of notebooks; a notebook is a collection of documents, and then you can stack a collection of notebooks together. Essays move from one stack to the next.

Here’s how I organize my Evernote stack:

WRITING (Stack)

  • Ideas — any scribbling of an idea I have, ever.
  • Drafts — a workable idea that’s got actual sentences in it, paragraphs even, but still needs more work.
  • Pitches — list of places I’ve pitched stories and essays to. A more refined version of “Ideas.” I can move things from pitches to ideas (if they get denied) or from ideas to pitches if they look like things that will fit a particular editor or audience.
  • Finished — any note that works its way from idea to draft and gets published (like this very post here), will get dragged into ‘finished,’ so my ideas/drafts folders aren’t cluttered with already-used ideas.
  • Stories — a place for fiction and short-story writing, when I’m tired of narrative and non-fiction writing.
  • Archive — a place to clean out and dump any past ideas I want to throw away and won’t publish.

And actually publishing something:

When I sit down to write and publish, I start with one of my tools — either I sift through my paper notebook, I scroll through my Evernote stack, or I riff through my gmail folder of notes.

Side note: I usually leave the gmail notes until last, or perform this as a task-based item unrelated to my writing process, because the distraction temptation is so high. I’ll copy and paste out ideas from “notes” in my gmail and from my notes in my moleskine into my Evernote “ideas” folder so I keep an ever-growing list of ideas pouring into these folders.

I’ll review these notes and ideas until there’s something that pulls me and still feels vibrant, like I’m ready to tip and start talking or writing about it.

Some workdays I’ll work on two or three different essays, putting the meat and body into each of the essays. It involves researching, reading, writing out stories, and pouring as many words onto the page as possible. In this process, a 100- or 300-word idea stream can turn into 1500 or more words.

Here, in fact, are two unwritten, incomplete ideas that could turn into full blog posts if I pull them up and feel compelled to write about them:

Screenshot 2016-01-02 14.12.12 Screenshot 2016-01-02 14.12.02

This is actually what my first versions of essays often look like.

It’s highly productive and weirdly dissatisfying because usually there isn’t a single essay that gets finished. I still need another night’s sleep and a few more days to tidy it up. On a lazier day I’ll do polishing and editing of a final piece if I don’t feel like tackling a new subject.

When I do work to finish and publish an essay, I’ll find in my “drafts” folder something that’s nearly complete, like this essay was in here. I’ll move it into WordPress (or whatever platform I’m publishing through; sometimes it’s Medium, LinkedIn, sending a G-Doc to an editor, etc). Inside of WordPress, I’ll do a read-through and edit and polish with fresh eyes. Often I’ll add new material, shorten some paragraphs, and keep tightening up the introductory material.

I use the “preview” feature on many of the platforms to review the content in multiple forms. Once it’s ready to go, I’ll schedule it to publish.

But I’m diverting from the main point of this essay.

It’s sexier to talk about tools and process. It’s harder to talk about starting, doing, and persisting.

Not writing because you don’t have the tools is an excuse.

When you’re in the subway and you see the makings of a great story, and you have nothing on you, you still write a story. No pen, no notebook, no phone, no anything — you write the story by using words in your mind and telling the story. Play with it. Make it a sequence.

You practice the craft by practicing the craft.

The man lumbered over towards the station entrance, his walk punctuated by the jostling needed to keep his pants above knee height. His boxers had a cute heart shaped pattern across them, although the fact that she could see them at all wasn’t particularly endearing, she wanted to tell him to lift them up, tuck in his shirt, learn how to walk again. “That duck walk,” she thought, “will not look good anywhere but here…” 

Practice seeing stories all around you. Write them down, however you can.

Start Writing: A New Free Mini-Course

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

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This month, in the spirit of writing and getting our butts back into our chairs and writing more, I made a free mini writing course for anyone to join.I’ve made a number of free mini-courses before, and I always love making them.

In order to participate, sign up here and take the challenge to write every day for 30 days.

I did a similar course to this last January with One Month, and we had over a thousand people sign up. I’ve made an entirely new series of prompts so you can get writing again. Join us!

Start Writing: 30 Days of Writing Prompts

Here’s how it works:

Sign up (it’s a different list from my blog list), and then check your email inbox to confirm your subscription. Once you sign up, you’ll get:

  • A new writing prompt in your email inbox every day for 30 days. The writing prompts will vary from silly to strange to serious.
  • Access to our online spreadsheet to track your progress and see how everyone is doing,  and
  • You can join our private Facebook Group to connect to other people doing the same challenge.

What you’ll do is open your email, and immediately start writing a new story, list, or free-flow of words. The less thinking and the more writing, the better.

The best way to get back into writing is to write.

I find the more I do it, the more I want to do it. Sometimes the pressure of perfectionism on one single essay is too much, and we need to release the pressure by opening the valve a bit more. Start writing, write about everything, and don’t worry as much about the results.

Looking forward to seeing you in the group and hearing about what you write!

Stop Gmail Overwhelm With These Two Scripts

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

How to find and send emails (without going into your email inbox):

“I’m having trouble keeping up with my inbox,” a friend wrote on Facebook, asking for email tricks and tools people loved.

I use a ton of email productivity measures, and I always forget that we all have vastly different habits and routines. Here are a few philosophies, notes, and scripts that are worth bookmarking to make your life easier.

Slow down and send less

I find the less email I send, the less I get. I also don’t mind if it takes 2–3 weeks (or longer) to respond to things. As I train people to know that email is a slow way to get ahold of me, it works out well.

Email is other people putting urgent things on your to-do list.

Time batch

I use Pomodoros to cycle through emails and either do 25 minutes or 50 minutes in the morning a few days a week. The goal of a session is to cycle through all the messages and identify the urgent and important ones and delete the rest.

It took a while, but I have no problem actively deleting anything that isn’t on my list or agenda right now (especially if it doesn’t come with an introduction, or the request isn’t a thoughtful consideration of time).

Then I star things according to urgency: red is now, yellow is soon, blue needs information. I make tasks for things in my Asana that need more lengthy follow-up, and I use a chrome tablet or links to search specifically for that message so I don’t drown inside of an inbox unnecessarily.

If you’re a Gmail user, try these scripts:

Also, I have two scripts I LOVE to use when I need to use my inbox during in the day, but don’t want to get lost in it. They’re fairly easy to implement (all you have to do is copy the code and save it as a bookmark), so you don’t need any fancy tools to make these awesome changes to your browser:

#1: Search for a message without opening your inbox

For the dorks among us, here is the script for a gmail ‘search’ button. To make it work, add it as a bookmark in your browser — just copy this code below (no spaces before/after) and add it as a bookmark for running a distraction-free search:

javascript:var search=prompt(“Search Gmail for…”);window.open(“https://mail.google.com/mail/#search/”+search);

For best results, add a label called “Search” and add it to your bookmark bar. Then, when you click, it’ll pop up a distraction-free window that lets you search for the message you need without seeing any new messages in your inbox.

#2: Compose a gmail message without opening your inbox

You can do the same thing with composing an email without going directly to your inbox. I use this script:

https://mail.google.com/mail/?view=cm&fs=1&tf=1

Which pulls up a full-screen compose window without any information about my inbox. Freedom! No distraction! Add it as a bookmark and use these instead of navigating to an inbox for every message you need to find or send a message.

Lastly, my go-to response:

Also, my go-to response that’s unbeatable is

“Thanks so much, now’s not a good time for me. If you want to circle back in a few months, we can try again then.”

This keeps my next 2–3 months very clear of unnecessary clutter, and 90% of the time people (sadly) don’t follow up. If I’m not that important anymore, great.

Sigh.

Email peace.

##

Huge kudos to Mattan Griffel for teaching me these email tricks (and more!) about productivity and pomodoros. Our work together at One Month this past year has been like an MBA in the making. Also, thanks to Victor Mathieux for prompting the conversation in the first place.

Writers Resources for 2015: Make a Living as a Writer With These Sweet Courses

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

TWL Bundle_Image1_Facebook

Want to make a living as a writer?

Maybe you’re simply looking to improve your craft. Maybe you want to self-publish a book, or you want to learn more about publishing. Perhaps you’ve got a side-hustle, and you want to turn it into a full-time business. Maybe you’re working on a book proposal but you’re stuck!

Either way, there’s a LOT to learn in the world of writing.

If you’re a writer, author, or want to begin publishing — then I’ve got something you won’t want to miss. Every once in a while, I get to participate in the creation of really cool products and offerings. Today, I’m part of an amazing round-up of resources made especially for writers:

The Writer’s Bundle.

My friends at The Write Life put together a package of nine ebooks and courses on freelancing, self-publishing, marketing, productivity and more.

You might recognize many of the names of the creators of these products, including Joel Friedlander, James Chartrand, Charlie Gilkey and Alexis Grant. Plus, if you look closely — one of my main courses is included as well. (Woohoo!) If you’ve been eyeing Content Strategy for Thought Leaders, then this will be a no-brainer: the entire bundle retails for less than the price of my class.

A lot less, actually.

TWL Bundle Headshots Grapic_500

I feel obligated to say this in writing: if you purchased each of these resources individually, they would run you nearly $1,100.

Through this bundle, you can grab the entire package for just $99.

So if you’ve been wanting to join us in Content Strategy for Thought Leaders, which retails at $300, then you can do so today — for $99. And get eight additional classes as part of it.

What’s the catch? Because this is such a good deal, my friends over at The Write Life are offering it for THREE DAYS ONLY. That means if you want it, you should grab it now.

Download The Writer’s Bundle Here.

Want more details? Here’s what you get when you download The Writer’s Bundle:

  • Kindle Launch Plan: $1,400 in 30 Days & an Amazon Bestseller, from Nick Loper (retails for $99)
  • Content Strategy for Thought Leaders, from your truly! (retails for $300)
  • Learn Scrivener Fast, from Joseph Michael (retails for $179)
  • Book Proposal & Manuscript Template, from Joel Friedlander (retails for $27)
  • The Momentum Kickstarter Kit, from Charlie Gilkey (retails for $47)
  • Authority: A Step-By-Step Guide to Self-Publishing, from Nathan Barry (retails for $39)
  • Turn Your Side Hustle Into a Full-Time Business, from Alexis Grant (retails for $47)
  • Video Idiot Boot Camp, from Katie Davis (retails for $297)
  • Write for the Web, from James Chartrand (retails for $23)

Remember: It’s only available until Wednesday, March 11th, at 11:59 p.m. EST. Get your hands on this amazing offer while you can!

P.S. Here’s the link once more: Download The Writer’s Bundle.

When the blues hit, what do you do? Notes on darkness, sadness, and melancholy.

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

What do you do when you get sad?

Sometimes dwelling in darkness can be a helpful, healthy adventure. Other times, too much time in the dark can prompt stagnation and wallowing. How do you know how far to go? When is it too much? When is darkness healthy and when is digging into rumination too much spiraling inwards?

In high school and in college, I dealt with waves of sadness and depression. I learned what it meant to be too tired. Some days, after six hours of swim practice and a full course load of college academics, I would sob myself to sleep. Missing my family, adjusting to life, and the relationship angst that came from dating as a hormonal teenager all added up to a lot of sadness. For me personally, the biggest challenge is when I work too hard and forget to take time to stay emotionally balanced.

Over time, I turned to writing as an outlet — and I learned about emotional resilience. For me, having a bucket of tools to turn to whenever I’m feeling wonky can help alleviate the pressure.

Darkness and the dynamics of holidays

At this time of year, there’s a lot of built-up stress. People can be tired, run-down, and overworked. In addition, the pressure of the year’s end — hitting financial targets, making performance reviews, or not getting your resolutions completed from last year — can make this a dicey emotional time.

Add to that travel, seeing family members, and navigating the politics of in-laws, and you have a recipe for a tricky situation. Throw in a bunch of sugar from too many cinnamon rolls and maybe eating half a gingerbread house (yup, I’ve done that), and I’m sobbing like a 5-year old after too much birthday party.

In short, winter’s darkness coupled with end-of-year stress can be a recipe for bumming yourself out.

What do you do when the blues hit?

Over the past decade, I’m so grateful to have built a repertoire of skills and tools I can use at my disposal when my mood gets the better of me. But the thing about being in the wallows is, sometimes all the advice in your head goes to naught — and you need to ask, yet again, for some good advice.

Emotional resilience isn’t a one-trick pony. Instead, it’s the ability to use multiple tools to help alleviate the stress. For me, I know that if I go for a walk every day, take time to journal, and talk with at least a few good friends every week, I’ll generally feel pretty good.

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I reached out to several friends of mine and asked for advice: what do you do when they blues hit? Here’s what I got back.

I got a surprising number of responses — so I thought I would compile and share them, here, for any of you that stumbles through a melancholy day or two, like me.

“I give myself a set period to wallow in it. Favorite comfort food, retreat from people, think and reflect. Then wake up the next morning and be productive and positive.” — Melinda

“Write a list of specific things I am grateful for in my life.” — Keith

“Close my eyes and go to my happy place! Or actually GO to my happy place. I have several stashed around the area, so I can drive there in a couple hours if need be.” — Heather

“Step outdoors. Listen for birds. Look up. Take a deep breath or two.” — Amy

“80’s hiphop and dancing in front of a mirror, obviously.” — Karen

“Get my body in water somehow (pool, rain, shower, bath). Swing on a swingset. Basically insert myself into an environment different than the day to day — feet continuously off the ground and body in motion is the fastest way I know how to do that.” — Valerie

“Get out and talk to people, and listen to them.” — Bridget

“Do something silly or nice for someone else.” — Lauren

“Run! (The exercise, not fleeing). And run outside!” — Ian

“Going through the self-compassion formula: common humanity, self-kindness, mindfulness.” — Ian

“Listen to music that will make you cry (to let it all out) then something happy to lift you out of that mood. Or skip the first bit, go straight for light-hearted, fun, dynamic, and inspiring tunes.” —Amy

“Exercise and ensure I’m eating well.” — Lee

… Good food, healthy habits, friends to talk to, a good cry, a shower, a way to let off steam… This sounds familiar.

Each of these doesn’t seem like much in and of itself. Sure, I can eat an apple. Maybe a good cry in the shower will help, too. Take myself for a walk? Okay, I’ll do it.

Whatever it is, all the small things — all the small ways you can practice kindness towards yourself — can add up and take the edge off. It’s not one thing that makes a drastic difference, but all these small things that can slowly change my emotional direction.

I’ll add a couple more of my favorites:

Paint, draw, or sing —

Do something creative and expressive, with no pressure on results or outcome. Go sing in a church, sign up for an art class, or pull out some markers and scribble messily and angrily until you laugh your face off.

Hug someone who needs it. —

Compassion and hugs. Give someone a big hug and let the oxytocin out!

Book a massage or a spa date for yourself.

Sometimes your physical body just needs to be touched.

Write in your journal with a snuggly blanket and a good cup of tea.

Whenever I write in my journal, my brain starts to relax. If I take the time to write and reflect in the evenings, I calm down, my energy slows, and I sleep better.

Write letters to friends and people you’re thankful for.

Make a gratitude list.

When you take the time to remind yourself of what you’re grateful for, your brain shifts.

Do “Candle Time”

This is a new habit my husband and I recently started. In addition to turning off our screens late at night (and he’s much better at this than I am; I am still a part-time phone addict) — we’ll turn off all the electric lights in our room and light a bunch of candles for the last hour before bed. We sit in the near darkness and calm down, reflecting, and letting our thoughts unwind.

Go for a long walk.

Walking soothes my brain. Doesn’t matter if it’s cold, dark, or rainy — something about the rhythm of footsteps syncs my brain into a new pattern.

Set your sleep cycle on a more regular pattern.

Cool down your caffeine or alcohol intake — replace it with fizzy water drinks and a splash of lemon, ginger, mint, or honey. Ease up on your adrenals.

Sometimes I’m well past worn out, and my sadness is from being tired. In the evenings I’ll make a spicy cup of tea instead of wine, and in a few days, I start to feel better. (Try this: add a slice of jalapeno, some lemon, and honey to a peppermint tea. I love it!)

Drink green juices and many glasses of water. Hydrate thyself! Hydration can sometimes ease my headaches and sadness in less than an hour.

Still stuck? Still feeling icky?

Talk it out. Find a friend, a therapist, or a coach who will listen to you as you work it out. Words and language and exercise are all ways of moving through our ideas and our stories — our stories change as we give them shape, and talk therapy is a real tool.

When I was too broke for therapy in my graduate school years, I bartered trades and signed up for new coach deals whenever people were looking for new clients. (You can often find new coaches who are starting their business and looking for clients to test tools on, and you can sign up for four sessions to chat at awesome discount prices.)

And if you’re not broke and still need to talk, head over to a new place, take a deep breath, and sign up.

(PS: If it’s a deeper issue and you think you might want to work with a psychologist or therapist, trust yourself. You might be in a spot in your life that could use some professional expertise and TLC. You deserve it, and it’s worth it.) 

What about you? What are your strategies for darker days?

What do you love to do to treat yourself? What are the hidden benefits of sadness, and how do you take care of yourself?

The upside of being busy

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Being busy – being full, having a lot to do, filling your calendar to the brim — can be overwhelming, tiring, exhausting. Sometimes we’re busy for busy’s sake. And answering “busy” to how have you been is, well, annoying.

But sometimes there’s an upside to being busy.

When you’ve got a handful of projects to work on, you don’t have as much time to worry about whether or not they’ll work out — you’re busy making something new instead and learning from the results.

When you’re focused on learning new material, you don’t have time to worry about what people think of you, what you should do next, or how to spend your time.

You’re too busy doing.

Emails don’t stick or sting too much because you don’t have the time to think about it for another second.

There’s a reason people say “if you want something done, ask a busy person.” Busy people get things done.

Up to a point, busy can actually be helpful.

Maybe the answer isn’t thinking more, but doing more. Maybe getting a little busy will help you out of your next rut.

How to write more handwritten notes.

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I love checking the mailbox. I’ve had pen pals since I was seven years old — and it’s one of the ways Alex and I first met.

Yet in today’s busy-busy world, how do you make time to sit down, get out the pen, and write a note?

Here are a few tricks you might love:

handwritten notes-moleskine

1. Tuck a few cards into the back of your moleskine.

If you’re like me, and you carry a notebook and a pen around, use that back flap to tuck a few postcards and blank notecards into the back. If you have a laptop case, a soft case for your ipad or tablet, or a kindle case, that also works. (I keep notecards in my kindle case and my moleskine).

2. Stock up on notecards and postcards at thrift shops or airports when traveling.

I always add an extra $20 into a trip to buy a little set of cards from a local artist or craft store. It’s a great way to get a souvenir without having to take anything extra that stays in my home for too long.

3. Keep a stack in a box on your desk.

I have a small box with several dozen cards and postcards in it that sits on my desk, next to my pen jar. Anytime I’m waiting for something to load (saving, uploading, syncing, rebooting – you name it, there’s technical lag time) — I’ll grab a card and write.

4. Keep a special slim bag for notecards and stamps.

I have a special zippered bag that has travel essentials in it — whenever I’m consulting, teaching, or getting on an airplane for a work trip — and I keep my converters, chargers, and essential digital items in there. (It’s a handy bag that I adore and it has all the wires and cords for setting up projectors, adaptors, and more). It’s got a little sleeve down the side and I put in a stack of notecards and business cards to be ready whenever I need them.

I love those waterproof all-in-one zippered bags, cosmetic bags, or all-function zippered bags from MUJI.

handwritten notes-zipper bag

5. When you feel the urge or a twinge that says, I miss that person — write.

Capture the intuition. I’ve written to people I’ve barely talked to, people I admire online and respect greatly, and send notes to people who I can sense are having a hard time. Sometimes it’s been years and I see someone’s face again online and I think — ahh, that person is lovely. I know we didn’t keep in touch, but I’ll send a little note.

6. Use takeoff and landing time!

When airlines tell me to “put away and stow all electronic devices,” I smile and grab my notecard bag. Whenever I’m departing is a great time to scribble out a few quick thank-you notes to the people who hosted me, people I just met, or people I spent time workshopping with. There’s usually at least 20 minutes between takeoff and getting to cruising altitude, so I use that time to jot out my notes, thank-you’s for the holidays, and anyone else I feel like writing to.

But what do you say?

Writing quick cards is about cultivating the habit — keeping the cards near you on your desk, in your purse, or in a device that you use all the time (read: laptop, kindle, tablet) means it’s super easy to grab one quickly when you need it. I keep cards all around me so that when I get the urge, I can cultivate the habit.

Keep the notes simple.

And here are a few scripts I love. Take ’em, use ’em, run with ’em:

 

“Congratulations! I saw your recent good news and I wanted to say how inspiring everything you do is. Keep it up! XO.”

“Been thinking about you. I know it’s been forever since we’ve connected, but I wanted to drop a note and say how delightful it is to see what you’re working on. From an old friend, XO.”

“Sending you lots of love and hugs right now! I know that life has a lot of rough and tumble spots and I wanted to send a little smile your way.”

“I wanted to drop a quick note and say THANK YOU for hosting me this past week. It was wonderful to stay with you and meet your crew and I appreciate your hospitality so much!”

“You’re the best. Seriously. Thank you.”

“Just wanted to say hi!”

When in doubt, add your favorite quote or two and just a couple of sentences. It doesn’t have to be an epic letter — the note says enough when you send it.

I love handwritten notes.

Send a little happiness into the world!

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