Want More Connection?

Posted on February 9, 2017February 9, 2017 by Sarah K Peck

I have a friend who seems to run into people he knows everywhere he goes. He seems like the most connected person I know.

I laughed and asked him how he does it.

“How do you connect to so many people?”

He was at the airport and bumped into a friend from far away.

He said it’s not really a trick. It’s not like he knows more people than anyone else.

“I look up,” he said.

“I walk around and I actually take the time to look at people’s faces. I smile. Instead of looking looking, at my phone, I like to look around. When I do that, I see people walking by, and I take time to enjoy the crowd that I’m in.”

Most people just walk around looking down at their feet, or looking down at their phones. Even if they are up, looking around, they might be too full with things in their mind to actually see what’s in front of them.

We look inside of our phones and our devices for connection, and miss the world outside.

Look up, look up.

When you look around, catch someone’s eye.

Smile a bit. Be the person who gives a twinkle and a laugh. And then, when you see what’s in front of you, you might just bump into someone you know.

The Introvert’s Guide to Networking at a Conference

Posted on January 26, 2017November 29, 2016 by Sarah K Peck

My friend was recently excited about a conference but terrified of going and getting overwhelmed.

He texted me:

“Help! do you have any good networking advice for introverts at conferences?”

Conferences are a great way to meet people, and it’s one of the best ways I’ve used to reach out to new people, connect with peers, learn, and find friends.

However, conferences are also one of the scariest places to go as an introvert: all that talking, all that stimulation, and a loud, crowded set of rooms with people all day long? Call me exhausted, because all of that extroverted energy is draining and leaves me wanting to crawl into a sensory-deprivation tank for three days just to recover.

“Sitting and writing and talking to no one is how I wish I could spend the better part of every day.” — Amy Schumer

As Amy Schumer explains, “If you’re a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don’t hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them—like the sun.” (From her new book, which, while it has a few quotable good bits, I don’t recommend.)

So if you’re an introvert, how do you make the best of a conference situation?

Here are a few ways to manage a conference and make it work for you:

Message 20 people in advance, and tell them you’ll be at the conference. Connect over the conference before you even get there — from the comfort of your PJ’s and the quiet of your own room. You don’t even actually have to meet them at the conference. You can just connect over the fact that you went to the same conference.
Take introvert time plentifully. I know that I don’t enjoy a full day stacked with speakers, so I look at the agenda and pick out my top 50% – 75% of the day. I actively choose which session slots I will SKIP so that I can leave the conference, walk through a park, do some stretching, or take a nap. Rather than accidentally skipping the best stuff because I’m too tired to make it through a 14-hour day “on” in front of other people, I’ll plan ahead to take my own introverted break from, say, 2 to 5 PM, and then return refreshed for a dinner mixer and a night event.
Plan to meet people at a food event the night before or the morning after. Research a venue in the area you like and make a reservation for 10 people. (A taco truck, a park, or a single line to-go cafe works well, too, provided it’s nice weather and you can find a place to sit). Tell people that you really want to connect with that you’re doing “X” at “Y,” and be an informal organizer. (“I’m going to get Tacos at 6PM after the first day, join then?”). Invite double the people that you actually want, and a handful will show up and you can create a smaller place to reconvene and have deeper conversations.
Reach out to people afterwards, using the conference as the tool for connection.
Bring cool business cards that say “We met at XYZ conference,” and reference the event itself.
Live tweet the conference using the event’s hashtag and meet people online who are also at the event.
Write a blog recap of the event and share it on social media with the conference hashtag. Bonus: write a blog roundup with the best posts you can find about the event, and comment on other blogger’s write-ups and reach out and meet them digitally.

Those are just a few of my conference-going tips for introverts or people who need slow space to think and connect!

What about you? What are some of your favorite tips for getting the most out of a loud, noisy, awesome, social event that is *maybe* a little too much for you?

Why Saying “No” Is A Kindness

Posted on January 19, 2016January 18, 2016 by Sarah K Peck

wood-light-summer-lunch-large

I invited two dear friends to join a book club with me. I think their reactions were remarkable.

The first said, “No thanks,” directly.

“Business books are so oversaturated in my life right now. I’m only reading fiction,” he said. “I can’t read another business book right now.”

Done. Clear. Easy.

Being direct is a kindness.

The second hesitated on the phone and then said, “I can’t say yes right now, because I haven’t read a book straight through in a while, and I have a ton of traveling to do over the next month.”

I wasn’t sure if he wanted in or not. He wasn’t sure either. He clarified:

“When I say yes, I want to really mean it — I lock it in, like a commitment. So I don’t say yes unless I mean it. That’s why I’m hesitant to say yes, unless I know I’ll actually be there and be able to show up.”

So grateful.

This makes it easier for me, the book club organizer, not to wonder if a bunch of people signed up, but won’t actually participate. If they’ll flake. Whether or not I’ll be chasing people around or engaging in meaningful conversation around a book (which, clearly, is what the goal is).

Saying no — clearly, firmly, when you know you can’t make the commitment or the time — is a kindness.

Saying “yes” when you really mean no is a burden on other people’s energy, time, and space.

Say yes — when you mean it.

Say no when you don’t want to.

It is the kindest thing.

Want to be a better storyteller? Two new online workshops, April 24th and 29th.

Posted on April 18, 2014April 18, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Humans are born storytellers. The way we tell and share our stories about who we are, what we do, and what we want affects who sees us, hears about us, and whether or not the right people connect with us.

If you want to learn how to describe yourself or your business (or both), join me at one of the following live storytelling workshops.

I’ve taught storytelling and narrative writing workshops live across the country—from the World Domination Summit to Bold Academy to General Assembly, and now I’m teaching two of these workshops as live online webinars that you can access from anywhere. Previously these workshops were only offered in person—if you’ve wanted to attend a class (or you’re curious about the upcoming writer’s workshops), join this one-day class.

Join me on Thursday, April 24 and Tuesday, April 29 for two 90-minute sessions on storytelling, narrative, and psychology.

“One of the best classes I’ve ever taken at General Assembly.” — Craig, General Assembly workshop participant

“Amazing class. I learned so much—left with pages packed full of notes.” — Joel, WDS workshop participant.

Storytelling 1.0: Crafting narratives for individuals and businesses. Thursday, April 24th, 1pm EST. $30.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN: This introductory class will cover narrative form and storytelling tools that are practical and quickly implementable for many communication needs ranging from a personal biography to the description of your company. Understand the role of your audience; the psychology of your readership, and why asking certain questions will make storytelling much easier.

You’ll learn how to dissect the various mediums where messages are told, how to modify your story based on the place you’re telling it; how to identify your values and your audience’s values, and the power of lyrical descriptions in your story. We’ll also cover basic psychological principles of understanding and why this is important for how you craft your message.

HOW IT WORKS: This private online webinar will be hosted LIVE at 1PM EST. The webinar includes 90-minutes of lecture, visual, and presentation materials followed by 30-minutes of open question-and-answer sessions—ask anything you’d like and get feedback on your story + listen in to the questions of others!

Can’t make it live? The webinars will be recorded with a private link of the recording sent out to all participants.

PREPARATION: Bring pens, paper, and notebooks to write on. Bring a draft of your current biography and/or business description (you’ll be asked to re-write it during the webinar based on the key principles we cover).

Register here: Storytelling 1.0: Live Webinar, Thursday, April 24th 1—3pm EST. $30.

“Sarah goes over five different frameworks for how to tell stories — this was the first time the Hero’s Journey really made sense to me in a modern context.” —Anne S.

“I never thought about how important value systems were to storytelling—once she described it, it was a huge “Ah-ha” moment for me. Now I know which stories to tell when.” — Jeremy H.

“The simple idea that we all have many stories to tell took a lot of the pressure off—we don’t need to pick just one story. We can switch them out based on our audience and the medium.” — Leslie.

Storytelling 2.0: Leadership, sticky messages and the psychology of persuasion. Tuesday, April 29th 1pm EST. $30.

ABOUT THIS CLASS: This second session of the two-part storytelling series can be taken independently or in conjunction with Storytelling 1.0. In this class, we look at the stories that great leaders use to inspire; why (and how) to use emotion in your stories, and the persuasive benefits of a great story. This class includes a deeper dive into case studies of great stories (and not-so-great stories) to better grasp the concepts. In our time together, I’ll even show how Finding Nemo can teach us how to engage audiences from the beginning of your story with clever hooks and curiosity gaps.

Can’t make it live? The webinars will be recorded with a private link of the recording sent out to all participants.

Register here: Storytelling 2.0: Live Webinar, Tuesday, April 29 1—3pm EST. $30.

“It makes so much sense—leadership stories are different than other stories, because the objectives are different. Now I can see how people tell future-based stories and I realize how powerful they are.” — Sam

“This class takes a deep dive into your own personal Hero’s Journey narratives based on the work of Carol Pearson—I finally understood how I was living out my own Orphan narrative. This class was better than therapy.” —(Anonymous).

“Sarah is one of the warmest and kindest people I know. Work with her, she will be a change-maker and an incredibly valuable asset to your team or life.” — Jana Schuberth, Owner, Love Work Now

Are you making these email mistakes? Here’s how to fix them.

Posted on November 7, 2013October 28, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

Chess in Brooklyn

A few weeks ago I met up with a good friend of mine over wine and dinner and we got to talking about email–the number one form of communication we all use, and the fact that so many of us could do it a lot better. If you use email or any other digital medium, chances are you’re writing far more than you think you are–and your writing is what represents you.

Email is writing, plain and simple, and it often gets us into trouble.

Amber and I chatted about email, and what mistakes people often make, and how to fix those mistakes through better writing (and strategic thinking) to improve your professional (and personal) life. She was fascinated with the writer’s workshop, so over the course of a delicious glass of wine (or perhaps two), I shared with her nice ways that people often make mistakes in email. (To see the original essay, check out the Fast Company article featured earlier this Fall):

Here are nine common mistakes you might be making:

1. Sending emails only when you need something.

The best time to build any relationship is before you need something, not waiting until the moment you need something. A friend of mine gets into the habit of sending five thoughtful emails each Sunday night to check in with people who he likes, admires, or thinks of. An email might look like,

Hey, saw some great news about you—just wanted to say congratulations! I love watching what you’re up to through my various news feeds, and I wanted to send a note to say how much I hope you’re doing well.

It’s a great way to remember to reach out to folks you want to be in touch with, and an actionable way of practicing gratitude.

2. Forgetting that there’s a person on the other side of your email.

Just as you wouldn’t walk into a friend’s house for dinner and bark out a command, often those little niceties in the intro and end of a message can go a long way. Social cues aren’t dated constructs; they’re valuable warm-up phrases in communication. Start by saying hi, comment on someone’s latest achievements, and wish the other person well.

Hey stranger! It’s been a long time. If Facebook’s telling me the scoop, it looks like you had an eventful Spring…congrats on all of your successes!

3. Using the first person too much.

Many emails–and essays–are written exclusively in first person. Shift the focus to the recipient and consider what they want, need, or would like to hear. After writing an email, scan it quickly for how many times you use the word “I.” See if you can edit some of them out.

For example: “I’m teaching a new writer’s workshop this Spring, and I want help sharing the program. I think you’d be interested in it” (all “I” statements) can be turned into:

Hey, Leslie. A while back we chatted about ways to improve your writing skills–I wanted to reach out about this writing workshop for creatives that’s just launched. I thought you might enjoy taking a look. Let me know if this is what you were looking for.

4. Sending the email at the wrong time.

Just because you’ve written it now doesn’t mean it needs to be sent at this exact moment. Delaying the send is one of the most powerful and underutilized tools of emailing.

Evaluate whether or not the message is urgent and needs to be replied to immediately. If you’re cleaning up your inbox during your scheduled time, fire off the messages that are urgent and consider sending messages in the morning.

Scheduling emails to be sent in 24 or 48 hours gives you (and your clients) space to breathe between nonurgent projects, and it also sets up a rhythm of communication whereby your client no longer expects you to reply instantaneously. The more structure and parameter you give to the form of your messaging, the easier it is for the client to learn what to expect. You can either train someone to expect instantaneous answers at all times, or to learn the rhythm that’s best for you and your business.

Then, in the case of an emergency, if the client emails and you need to solve the problem straight away, you can send a quick message late in the evening or on a weekend. In this scenario, you become the hero to your client.

5. Sending to too many people.

More recipients in the “To” field does not mean that you’ll necessarily get more answers. In the age of digital marketing, people who blast messages in broadcast form without understanding who is in the “to” line can erode their chances of a message being opened. A perfect email is one that’s sent to exactly who it needs to go to, with a specified desired outcome.

The more specific you can be about who you ask, the better. Asking everyone in your network is bound to get you a bunch of silence in our overconnected world, or unsubscribes and un-follows across your various platforms. It’s better to ask three people who are very well equipped to answer your query than 15 people who aren’t interested at all.

The more specific you can get about who should be receiving the message, the better. One direct ask that results in a yes is better than asking 50 people who don’t respond (and spamming their inboxes).

6. Knowing nothing about the person receiving your email.

Do your homework on the recipient. One great tool to glean fast information about who you’re talking to is Rapportive, a sidebar that lets you see the latest public posts (and a picture) of the person you’re communicating to.

7. Forgetting to send updates or interim messages.

If you’re waiting for an important message from someone, the time spent waiting for a delivery can seem interminable. If there’s a long delay in sending an item that’s highly anticipated or expected, or you’ve experienced a few hiccups–send a one-liner email to update your receiver on the status of the project. You’ll know that you need to send a quick note when you start to get anxious about not delivering or they seem to be a bit flippant.

Sample copy:

Hey, Sarah. Just wanted to send a quick update about the delivery of our proposal. We’re set to get you something by next Friday, but we might be a few days early. Talk to you next week! Let me know if you have any questions in the meantime.

Hey, Sarah. I know we touched base last month and I’ve been far too slow in getting back to you. I’m still working through the pile on my plate, but I should have something in the next 2-3 weeks. Didn’t want to keep you guessing! Talk soon,

8. Making messages too long.

Depending on the nature of the message, emails can vary from a few words to thousands of words. The longer the email, the less likely that someone will read the entire thing. Long emails generally mean that a larger strategy, framework, or document might be in order. Some companies shift to using four-sentence emails and linking to longer pieces of work through Google Documents, Asana, or Basecamp (or other project management software).

9. Using email exclusively.

Efficiency does not necessarily mean one single system. Often, redundancy in communication can be extremely helpful, as each tool (video, chat, email, Skype) adds a layer of human nuance back into the correspondence that’s happening. Laura Roeder’s digital marketing team is distributed across multiple countries, and in order to stay in touch (and in concert with each other), they focus on “over-communication,” through the use of multiple tools at once.

Now: Four ways to focus on writing better emails:

Tell sticky stories. Everything makes more sense with an illustration. Highlight and example, illustrate an ideal customer avatar, or tell a specific instance of a problem you had. Setting the context and the stage (that seems obvious to you, the writer), makes it easier for people to understand the pain point, the context, and the reason why you’re writing. When people can see your story–who you are, where you come from, why you’re doing what you’re doing–it’s easier for them to become a part of it.
Use the four-sentence, one-link rule: Keep your email to under four sentences (or five!). Focus on the pain point or problem you’re solving. Limit yourself to only one link. If you have to, make that link a document.
Be responsive and reflective: Observe how others communicate and adapt your style to meet them midway. Customize your communication by mirroring the style of a received message. Does someone send short messages with formal addresses? Respond in style.
Bookmark emails that you love with Evernote. Use the vast number of emails in front of you (and in your inbox) as clues to great messaging. Watch what emails you open first and are most excited about. Create a few folders in your mailbox system for great introductions, sample short messages, and thank-you notes that you like. Keep these for future use if you’re ever in a bind. In any art, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel–and paying attention to great writers (and what we personally enjoy) is a great way to get started.

Email is our number one form of communication, which means that everyone is a writer. The most powerful thing you can do in both your personal and business life is learn how to write well and tell great stories. Messages that persuade, content that converts, and language that inspires action are critical for getting what you want.

What do you do? What hacks do you have to make email better (and more bearable) for everyone?

The Importance of Story

Posted on April 26, 2012December 31, 2012 by Sarah K Peck

There are thousands of bad presentations. What makes a good presentation?

Nancy Duarte looks at the importance of stories and narratives in our collective history, and how the use of storytelling can captivate audiences.

In it’s most simple structure, a story contains a likable hero, who encounters a roadblock, and overcomes the adversity to achieve a goal.

This is one of my favorite presentations and part of my recent research into storytelling, designing presentations, communication, and public speaking.