Tag: connection

Want More Connection?

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

I have a friend who seems to run into people he knows everywhere he goes. He seems like the most connected person I know.

I laughed and asked him how he does it.

“How do you connect to so many people?” 

He was at the airport and bumped into a friend from far away.

He said it’s not really a trick. It’s not like he knows more people than anyone else.

“I look up,” he said.

“I walk around and I actually take the time to look at people’s faces. I smile. Instead of looking looking, at my phone, I like to look around. When I do that, I see people walking by, and I take time to enjoy the crowd that I’m in.”

Most people just walk around looking down at their feet, or looking down at their phones. Even if they are up, looking around, they might be too full with things in their mind to actually see what’s in front of them.

We look inside of our phones and our devices for connection, and miss the world outside.

Look up, look up.

When you look around, catch someone’s eye.

Smile a bit. Be the person who gives a twinkle and a laugh. And then, when you see what’s in front of you, you might just bump into someone you know.

The Introvert’s Guide to Networking at a Conference

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

My friend was recently excited about a conference but terrified of going and getting overwhelmed.

He texted me:

“Help! do you have any good networking advice for introverts at conferences?” 

Conferences are a great way to meet people, and it’s one of the best ways I’ve used to reach out to new people, connect with peers, learn, and find friends.

However, conferences are also one of the scariest places to go as an introvert: all that talking, all that stimulation, and a loud, crowded set of rooms with people all day long? Call me exhausted, because all of that extroverted energy is draining and leaves me wanting to crawl into a sensory-deprivation tank for three days just to recover. 

 “Sitting and writing and talking to no one is how I wish I could spend the better part of every day.” — Amy Schumer 

As Amy Schumer explains, “If you’re a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don’t hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them—like the sun.” (From her new book, which, while it has a few quotable good bits, I don’t recommend.) 

So if you’re an introvert, how do you make the best of a conference situation? 

Here are a few ways to manage a conference and make it work for you:

  1. Message 20 people in advance, and tell them you’ll be at the conference. Connect over the conference before you even get there — from the comfort of your PJ’s and the quiet of your own room. You don’t even actually have to meet them at the conference. You can just connect over the fact that you went to the same conference.
  2. Take introvert time plentifully. I know that I don’t enjoy a full day stacked with speakers, so I look at the agenda and pick out my top 50% – 75% of the day. I actively choose which session slots I will SKIP so that I can leave the conference, walk through a park, do some stretching, or take a nap. Rather than accidentally skipping the best stuff because I’m too tired to make it through a 14-hour day “on” in front of other people, I’ll plan ahead to take my own introverted break from, say, 2 to 5 PM, and then return refreshed for a dinner mixer and a night event.
  3. Plan to meet people at a food event the night before or the morning after. Research a venue in the area you like and make a reservation for 10 people. (A taco truck, a park, or a single line to-go cafe works well, too, provided it’s nice weather and you can find a place to sit). Tell people that you really want to connect with that you’re doing “X” at “Y,” and be an informal organizer. (“I’m going to get Tacos at 6PM after the first day, join then?”). Invite double the people that you actually want, and a handful will show up and you can create a smaller place to reconvene and have deeper conversations.
  4. Reach out to people afterwards, using the conference as the tool for connection.
  5. Bring cool business cards that say “We met at XYZ conference,” and reference the event itself.
  6. Live tweet the conference using the event’s hashtag and meet people online who are also at the event.
  7. Write a blog recap of the event and share it on social media with the conference hashtag. Bonus: write a blog roundup with the best posts you can find about the event, and comment on other blogger’s write-ups and reach out and meet them digitally.

Those are just a few of my conference-going tips for introverts or people who need slow space to think and connect!

What about you? What are some of your favorite tips for getting the most out of a loud, noisy, awesome, social event that is *maybe* a little too much for you?

 

What Questions Are You Asking? (Three Questions For Reconnection)

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

We are the questions we ask.

We are the way we inquire, curiously, about the world we work in.

As I was going through what was (for me), a difficult pregnancy, I looked to my partner and asked, time and time again:

“How do I make it through this?” 

It’s hard to believe now, but there were moments when I didn’t know whether it was worth it. I can go back and tell myself clearly now that yes, it’s absolutely worth it.

But then? Then, it was so hard.

How could I connect what I was doing in my body, what I was feeling, to what was coming ahead of me? 

And in his own frustration, he asked me,

“Well is there anything that you ARE excited about?” 

I realized that some of the worry, the stress, and the negativity — it was consuming me. It was becoming always. Everywhere.

We paused.

And began a simple ritual. A pattern of questions, each night, to help guide our minds towards the positive reflection, even amidst the challenges of near-constant vomiting.

#1: What was the best part of your day?

We whispered the questions to each other at night, just before drifting off into dreamland.

I’d have my pillows piled high under my knees and thighs, a body pillow wrapped around me to prop me up.

What are the moments that went right? What were the good pieces and the good bits?

And we’d look. We’d look hard, we’d look slowly, we’d find, we’d savor, we’d discover. Amidst the pain of it all, we’d find something. A sliver, a thread, a joy. 

#2: What are you grateful for?

We’d make a list of things that we were grateful for. 

I’m grateful that my body is working. I’m grateful that this is all working. I’m grateful that you’re here, even if I’m vomiting, and we get to clean up this mess together. I’m grateful I have a job.

Hope lifted upwards, wrapping me in its hug.

#3 What are you looking forward to about this?

In this case, “this” was the future arrival of our baby boy. Each night, we’d mention something we were looking forward to. Something in our hopes and dreams about this baby we were making.

This baby that was taking my energy, my body, my shape, my memory, my sleep. 

I’m looking forward to hearing him cry for the first time.

I’m looking forward to taking him on bike rides.

I can’t wait to hold his hand and feel his tiny fingers and toes.

I’m looking forward to discovering how he sees the world.

Through these questions of reflection, we’d connect.

We’d connect over our journey into becoming new parents. He would tell me about what he was scared of, what he was hopeful for, what he was imagining in the future.

We’d whisper it together in bed, holding hands, passing out like rockstar adults in the wee hours at 7 PM or 8 PM, on a lucky day.

Three questions to reflect

In the most challenging of times, try these on for size:

  • What was the best part of your day?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What are you looking forward to {about X}? 

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Want to hear more about the journey of being pregnant while working at a startup? I’m writing a new book and opening a new project to talk about growing businesses, growing babies, and being a mama in the working world. Find out more at www.startuppregnant.com.

November Writing Theme: Connection

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

Each month I share a monthly writing prompt for you to reflect on, write about, and discuss. I’ll be writing a lot on this theme, and I invite you to join me in writing by linking your blog in the comments below or following the hashtag #mowriting on Twitter or Instagram.

Connection: What is it? What does it mean to connect?

How do you connect? How do you know when you have connected to someone or something?

What do you connect to?

What makes up a “missed connection”?

For me, I know that I want to listen more deeply to my inner compass and pay attention to what I need, moment by moment. This requires discernment, reflection, and ultimately connection to who I am and what I want.

I also want to connect more deeply to the people around me — through writing, letters, more frequent phone calls, better and more vulnerable conversations, hugs, and deepening my most cherished friendships.

Join me in reflecting on this question this month. What does it mean to connect and why is it important to do so?

I invite you to consider both the connection within yourself, as well as the outward connections to other people (or things).

Leave a note in the comments on this post with your reflections, share your pieces using the hashtag #mowriting, or send me a note with a guest post if you’d like to contribute to this month’s theme.

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PS: Join me in my next two live seminars!

Do you ever get overwhelmed by scheduling your day, week, or month? Does email bog you down or frustrate you? I’m teaching two new virtual seminars this November all about rethinking the way you schedule your week (November 9th) and becoming a jedi master with your email inbox (November 17th).

The seminars are 1-hour long, live, and will be recorded. Registration is $49 per class.

Little Online Moments

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

It was her first post on Medium.

She wrote about her beautiful son. And the hardest thing that she had been through — heart-wrenching. I read the first essay from her husband, bookmarked it, held her and her family in my hearts. I’ve never met her, but I cried for her family nonetheless.

A year went by, and she wrote again. She started her first Medium blog. I found it one day in my dive into the tags ‘parenting‘ and ‘pregnancy‘ that help organize the site and deliver essays for you to read. I clicked through. I noticed this was her first post on Medium. 11 recommends. 12, with mine. I rooted for her essay.

I followed her. I want to tell her how much I want to read more of her writing.

We had many friends in common. I did that thing that I don’t often do: I found her on Facebook and friended her. I felt a pull, a joy, a feeling —

I wanted to say hello in that strange internet way of no words. A click, a follow, a friend.

A few hours later,

She followed me back on Medium,

Accepted the friend on Facebook,

Recommended an essay of mine.

and I smiled, delighted. Hi there.

Across the continent, never meeting, both likely reading and pouring over internet pages in our own coffee-and-pajama world, we knew of each other. We both absorbed the other.

We spoke no words, we did nothing more than click a button to say hello to each other.

In a world of noisy likes and follows, a chatter of surplus click-bait information, sometimes a tiny nod in your direction is plenty to make you smile.

This has happened before. I have found new friends on the internet, people I’ve never met, people I have come to adore. We speak through shared essays, we write notes to each other, we join in the conversation on Facebook. I still have yet to speak or hug Christina Rasmussen in person, and I think of her dearly. (I can’t wait until we do.) I met Emma Sedlak through our shared love of teaching, reading, and writing — and she joined me as an assistant in teaching my Writer’s Workshop. We ended up chatting on the phone nearly every month, even as she went off to Australia and our phone calls became 6AM her time.

In the online world, we can find each other’s voices and dig in. Listen in. Reach out, write to each other, find new people that say yes to the world in the same way that we say yes.

There is a piece of the online world that accepts friendships in a new way. A digital moment, an internet glance.

And for my new friend, the new mama starting a writing journey, an aspiring writer:

I’m here, listening. I like your writing. Your voice is clear.

Thanks for showing up, mama. you’ve been through a lot. I appreciate you.