Tag: journal

A 4-Step Guided Framework for Journaling and Gaining Immediate Clarity

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

How I used Think Clearly’s Clarity Cards to inspire wisdom and peace at the end of my pregnancy. I wrote this out when I was eight months pregnant, and it helped tremendously.

Writing things down helps me understand things better.

As a nine-month pregnant lady living on stitched-together patches of sleep, planning for new motherhood, and wrapping up my many projects in startup land, finding time to write (and write coherently) is becoming an increasing struggle.

Suffice it to say, my book writing has gone a little bit haywire.

Instead, I journal as often as I could, whenever I can.

Sometimes it’s at 3 AM in the morning if the baby kicks me awake (or gives me one of those yelp-inducing punches to the bladder), sometimes it’s late at night to get me to go to sleep, and more often than not, it comes out in scribble notes in my iPhone while on the way in and out of the city on Manhattan’s clunky old C-train.

Pregnancy is both never-ending, and over so suddenly, so I want to write about it and capture it while I can.

(And if you’re only having one or two kids, you’re only pregnant for so long: and then you’re not. Maybe ever again.)

I want to understand it. I want to catalog it. I want to explain it, tell the stories of pregnancy.

Yet understanding pregnancy and being pregnant are so monumental. What does it mean? How does it feel? Who am I, and how is that changing?

So I used the Clarity Cards to spend 12 minutes journaling about pregnancy, and surprised myself with how quickly I charted out thoughtful ideas, insights, and clear perspectives on being pregnant.

A guided framework for journaling and gaining clarity

The deck of cards was surprisingly simple to use.

It walks you through four steps.

For each step, you take 2–3 minutes to write down as much as you can. You can go longer if you’d like, or keep it short and simple. The first step is the simplest, and by getting your pen onto paper quickly, it makes the process easier. Much like Julia Cameron writes about in The Artist’s Way, just getting pen on paper and making a list can be an extraordinary way to dive into your mind.

Here’s how I did it:

Prep: Grab some pages to write on.

I have a Moleskine I love using, and so I cleared fresh sheets and got out a teal blue pen to write with, because that sounded like fun. Make sure you’re not distracted (I prefer a Moleskine or loose paper on a desk without any other items on it — no computer, phone, or other distractions. Yes, take off your Apple Watch!). Have a timer ready.

Next: Choose a topic or area of focus.

Choose a topic or a subject. I suppose you could just let something tumble out, or try to define a problem. For my sake, and as the example in this essay, I chose “Pregnancy” as the topic, because I was struggling to understand it, and these prompts helped me unpack it.

I then stacked the four sets of cards out face-down in front of me in four piles, and started a timer.

Step 1: The Facts

The first set of prompts is related to “the facts.” I pulled my first card, and it simply said, “What are the facts?”

I began by making a simple list.

I am pregnant. I have swollen and sore feet. I am doing Mathias’ Clarity Cards. I’m in the 9th month. I weight X pounds… (and more, but I won’t tell you all the details right now).

I pulled another card and continued listing. The prompts said things like “What is going on?” and “What is happening?”

My observations: It was easy to begin with a simple list of what the facts are. Even just the act of writing “I am pregnant” somehow makes it seem more real. I know, of course, that I’ve got a watermelon belly and I’m waddling around the city peeing at every coffee shop I can find, but still — it helps to list out all of the pieces of this puzzle, no matter how obvious.

The act of list-making can be profoundly useful as an instrument for getting inside of your own mind and beginning the process of journaling. Never underestimate the power of making lists.

Step 2: Feelings

The second set of prompts asks you to write down how you feel about the situation. Prompts included questions like “What gives you energy?” and “What are you sad about?” and other guided questions to help you understand how you feel about the situation.

Again, I spent a quick 2–3 minutes on the next clean page in my Moleskine journal to jot down as much as I could. I spent about a minute per card and wrote whatever came to mind first.

Observations: It was wonderful to parse out facts versus feelings. It’s one thing to be pregnant (fact), and it’s a completely separate thing to have a set of feelings about it (excited! happy! scared! kind of in shock!). My list included things like “I feel like a beached whale,” and “My stomach is really tender in the center,” and “I feel much more vulnerable and in need of protection than my normal, ambitious, athletic self.” It went from physical feelings to deeper emotional layers, like “I feel like my identity is transforming,” and “there are parts of me that are changing so quickly, it’s hard to get used to.”

It can be difficult to separate out feelings and facts, and this was an easy way to do it. In addition, the act of taking time to focus just on feelings let a lot of them tumble out. If you’re not used to talking about your feelings, having a guided set of cards prompt you through it can help you find awareness.

Step 3: Insights

The third set of questions asks you to probe a bit further. What are you learning, deducing, and understanding? How are you interpreting these facts and feelings? What insights have you gained? This step takes you from observation to analysis.

I stumbled a bit here, because the first question was “What insights have you gained?” and I felt myself think dismissively, “Um, none.”

So I began this third step the way the whole process began, which was: simply.

My first insight? “Drinking a lot of water helps the headaches go away.”

From there, it became easier to write out insights, and because I was writing quickly, it was almost startling how fast I dug into deeper insights. Once I started, it was like they were ready to come tumbling out of me. “Rest yourself as often as you recharge your iPhone, if not more,” and “It’s your own learning process and your own journey, unique to you,” and “Take time to reconcile external readings and advice with your own internal wisdom,” all made it onto my list of insights about the experience of pregnancy.

Yes, this.

Gosh I felt smarter just writing it down. Nodding my head. It was like the wisdom was there all along, but I hadn’t had a clear way of seeing it.

Intuitively, I know that each of these things are true, but the act of writing them down made them stronger, more powerful. They reminded me how important they are. They clarified, for me, what insights I have at my fingertips, if I’m willing to sit for a few minutes and record, reflect, and listen.

Step 4: Actions

The fourth and final section is about creating a set of actions that you’re going to take. What can you do with what you’ve observed, noticed, and felt? What steps can you take next?

At first, I was confounded. What “actions” do I take with “pregnancy”? There was a list I could draw up quickly, like “pack your hospital bag, set up an email auto-reply, stock your freezer with food,” but those seemed like just another list of tasks and errands. I could make a to-do list in my sleep; how could I apply this more broadly to a reflective session focused on the holistic concept of “pregnancy” and everything that it entailed?

Then the ideas that came forward seemed both obvious and silly. I wrote them down:

Decisions to be made:
— It’s okay for the baby to come.
— We are ready.
— This will be great.
— We can handle this.

What am I going to do?
— Give birth.
— Become a mom.
— Work hard during labor and delivery!
— Rest fully and recover well.

What is the next step?
— Rest. Allow. Enjoy. Be.

And Exhale.

The power of putting words to paper continues to astound me. Twelve minutes of writing and journaling later, and there’s a renewed sense of calm about the transition that’s coming up ahead of us.

Recognizing that then, at the end of my pregnancy, I was getting ready to meet my little boy and bring him into the world — this makes me tear up. And it’s okay. The next things to do are to be here, in the moment. And to decide: decide that it’s okay, that we’re ready, and that it’s time. And to rest, allowing the process to unfold. I have a bit of work ahead of me as I achieve the physical feat of pushing a new human out into the big world ahead, and I think it’s going to be great. I can’t wait.

Slowing down to connect across the world: two sisters, reconnecting. {Guest reflections by Easkey and Beckey-Finn Britton}

Posted on by Sarah K Peck
Easkey Tree Hugging
 

You immediately inspired me to have a ‘slow morning’ – get my body moving with some gentle, nourishing stretches and movements (from Dad’s routine!), make French press coffee and sit on the deck in the morning sun thinking nothing at all. Spying some wild blueberries on a nearby bush and foraging for my breakfast… Hope you get in the sea. I walked barefoot today, too.

– Easkey, October 2014

I was grateful my big sister, Easkey, decided she wanted to do this with me out of all the people in her world. For the first time in a long while I saw things for what they were, an amazing chance to connect with a sister whose path in life zigzags all over the world, exploring every nook and cranny, while mine follows the river, always flowing forward, always at home within itself. It was a chance that could not be missed. – Beckey-Finn, October 2014

Quiet whispers of intuition: seedlings, writings, and an idea.

It was hushed and quiet during the late Fall of 2013 in brownstone Brooklyn; the outside world was damp and leaf-strewn. I curled up at my writing desk inside my new apartment, warm yellow lights casting into the early darkness each afternoon as I carved out a new routine in a brand-new city. That night, I scribbled down a few ideas for a series I wanted to create.

Grace… and openness, I sketched. Movement and being. Presence. Gratitude. I jotted down some notes, catching ideas into my moleskine. Practices that move your body, open your mind, encourage you to reflect, connect, nourish. A series of letters, or emails. Something to connect us. Something deeper than just writing. And I love writing.

But could I do that by email?

And would anyone want it?

Quiet whispers of intuition don’t come stomping and shouting into my life.

They come briefly, a light wind, a stretch here and there, an idea that pops into mind while I’m journaling. It’s as though my adult self turns around in my chair to see a five-year old’s whimsy and curious eyes, asking me to come and play. If I shut it out, it runs away.

Our intuition doesn’t shout at us until we’ve really misbehaved.

Luckily, I listened.

I scratched and scrawled, wrote and edited, and made a new adventure — a two-week guided journey, a series of stories delivered from me to you, virtually, in this magical process that the internet lets us have.

Into my journals went the story of what I was making. Out onto the screen came an email. I pressed publish, that tantalizing blue button that still scares me, and went to sleep.

That week, people responded to my whisper. In fact, it was the highest course enrollment I’d ever had, and for a program I still didn’t quite understand.

We all took a breath and jumped in.

This was the Fall of 2013.

ISW_HEADER_Gratitude and Grace

Grace and Gratitude: A Journey Inwards

It’s been a year since I launched the first series, and in the space in between, thousands of emails have been quietly delivered to inboxes around the world with prompts to pause, stretch, listen, and weed out space in your life and mind. I follow the journeys and the progress through email letters, instagram photos, and I even get to form new friendships with lovely souls who join in and understand what I’m trying to do.

Over the course of the last twelve months, I’ve heard beautiful stories from hundreds of people around the world. “Thank you,” they share with me. “This is exactly what I needed.” One woman wrote in to tell me that on the last day of the course, she conceived — after several years of infertility.

In the journey, I ask people to soften to their inner heart, to listen to their spirit whispers, and to find happiness in the life they have all around them. Sometimes, we just need a new frame with which to see.

And today, two sisters (and friends of mine) shared with me the journey they took together, last Fall, on their own Grace and Gratitude journey. I’ve opened up my blog to them as a guest series and a window into the power of gratitude. They’ve inspired me so much, and I hope their stories inspire you as well.

Meet Beckey-Finn and Easkey Britton: Two sisters who decided to share a journey together to experience gratitude, open to grace, and reconnect to each other. They’ve both written their stories — here’s what can happen when you open your heart.

Easkey and Beckey

Two sisters. One journey, one moment at a time.
Part 1: By Easkey Britton

Dear Beckey-Finn: I don’t want or need anyone to tell me it will be alright (because I know it will) but I feel shit and want to be ok with that for a little while… until it passes. I realise it is so much easier to have gratitude when we feel happy and so much easier to have self-pity/loathing when we feel down. I look forward to looking inward with a fresh start tomorrow (I thought today would be my fresh start but it didn’t happen) with gratitude for all that I am. For now I’m Easkey – tired, sore and a little sad. Already feel better having shared this with you!
— Easkey, March 2014-11-04

It’s been a year of grace and gratitude, a journey shared with my little sister, Beckey-Finn.

I live a nomadic lifestyle that takes me far from home throughout the year, and it sometimes makes sustaining and nurturing a meaningful connection with those I love most challenging, especially family.

We know they aren’t going to abandon us, we will remain sisters for life and yet it is too easy to take that bond for granted. I didn’t want us to drift apart, I wanted to find a way to share with her those parts of my life that only a sister could understand, even if we couldn’t be together all the time and instead of feeling there would never be enough time to catch up on all the important things we were facing and going through in life.

Sarah’s Grace and Gratitude course offered the perfect opportunity for us to reconnect and by sharing the journey, make it stronger for both of us. Ideally we ‘d do this in person, create a lovely space, wrap up together on a sofa, candles lit, other times it is by Skype or email writing our thoughts – giving and receiving. It is a practice that has strengthened our bond beyond imagining. With my restless, nomadic existence and her home-grown life, instead of drifting further apart we are closer than ever. It hasn’t always been a smooth ride but we hold each other accountable, finding the yin to our yang.

My Grace and Gratitude practice has been an expansive heart opening process. A kind of release brought about through powerful, and sometimes painful, letting go.

“Weeding out the weeds” – the practice of letting go of what no longer serves me – has left space to cultivate a practice of simple, creative habits and a safe space for those monthly check-ins with my sister.

It has allowed me to slowly begin to live with greater honesty that comes from truly listening to ourselves, each other and the world around us.

There have been many times I’ve felt on the edge of being broken but instead of pushing harder or becoming consumed by the need to control the outcome, our Grace and Gratitude practice has reminded me the power of process: the process of being kind to myself and giving myself permission to feel however I feel and be ok with that, to just sit with it and breathe a while. 

Sometimes my Grace and Gratitude practice is more subtle and less explicit.

Grace is more subtle, but equally powerful — if not more so. I understand it as a dynamic dance.

It’s about getting grounded, presence, conscious mindfulness, an exercise in Be Here Now… my mantra became ‘make space for grace’ by weeding, de-cluttering, clearing, literally and figuratively.

Space to let go, grow and for creativity to flourish.

One of the practices asks you, “what will you do to listen to your heart?” It became okay to stop doing what I’ve always done if it no longer served me, no longer lit me up deep inside. I discovered I didn’t have to stop to be still but could find my stillness in movement, or as Nithya Shanti so beautifully described it, “be steady in movement and discern flow in stillness.”

My Grace & Gratitude practice has taught me how to be kinder to myself and to give thanks for my gifts – where I’ve come from and all that I’ve already don’t. Before I rush to the next big thing, my Grace & Gratitude sessions with my sister remind me to reflect, to look at where I want to go. And to know that I am already enough.

Easkey Power Pose

Some of my favourite G&G practices:

My ‘G&G power pose’: being grounded is very important to me because I’m so often full of ideas, facing forward, restless and constantly moving, living an unpredictable lifestyle.

Being in nature or connected to my environment is hugely important for me and makes me come alive. Gratitude has taught me the importance of making time for play and wonder.

So I like to be in the elements and feel the world around me through all my senses. I drink in the horizon, close my eyes and feel how the wind brushes my cheeks or the sun gently kisses the back of my neck. To feel the solidness of the earth beneath my feet, or better yet to go barefoot and dip my feet in the sea or wriggle my toes in the grass and stretch my fingertips skywards like a universal embrace. It teaches you how to live wholeheartedly in each moment.

My gratitude prayer: Before I go to sleep I name the one thing I’m most grateful for that day, the one thing that surprised me, and the one thing that touched my heart.

When we started last year we both reflected on what grace and gratitude meant for us:

It’s important to share gratitude. Grace is that feeling you get when you’re in sync with something. My grace is being able to take life, not necessarily in my stride, but with a clear mind and desire to be in that moment. It’s opening up to the universe and allowing it to shower you in whatever it has to offer and give.What surprised me is how many things I’m grateful for that I didn’t even acknowledge or think about or realise!

— Beckey-Finn, December 2013

I think vulnerability and humility are the sister and brother of grace and gratitude. Grace is not turning a blind eye to what we have the power to change. Grace is acceptance, surrender and letting go… it’s knowing when to say no thank you so you can say yes tomorrow…grace is being open to change, to the unknown, embracing uncertainty, honouring our humility and vulnerability. Openness. Space. Standing tall. Moving from the core but with fluidity. Smiling.

— Easkey, December 2013

Going forward, I want to keep working on practicing ‘creative habits’, to explore and learn more about mindfulness (or blue-mind-fulness, how to incorporate my experiences and insights from the sea and surf to better understand myself and others) and to listen better to myself and others. 

I’m a water dancer and a wave maker.

A seeker and explorer.

Freedom and passion are the code I live by.

Grace and gratitude are my compass.

I’m so happy for your transformation, guidance and opportunity to share with you Beckey-Finn.

Love and gratitude,
Your big sister
Easkey

A sister-sister journey of grace and gratitude
Part 2: Beckey-Finn

It all started with a bit of a random email from my big sis asking if I wanted to take part in the Grace and Gratitude course. My initial thoughts were a lot of ‘ehhhhhh… huh?! Sounds a bit weird!’

But it was right at this moment that my Grace and Gratitude journey really started. I was graceful in opening myself up to the experience instead of shying away. I was grateful my big sister, Easkey, decided she wanted to do this with me out of all the people in her world.

For the first time in a long while I saw things for what they were, an amazing chance to connect with a sister whose path in life zigzags all over the world exploring every nook and cranny while mine follows the river, always flowing forward, always at home within itself.

It was a chance that could not be missed. 

My Grace & Gratitude practice has been a journey to the expanse of the ocean. It has opened me to moving with the rapids, twists and turns of my path while still maintaining the laid back flow of who I am (the trick is to dive in deep where it’s calmest).

For me, it is a journey that happens beneath the surface of who I am, beneath the day to day of my life, something that has become a part of me.

Being a journey it has been easy, tough and everything in between for both of us but meeting each other in whatever way we can on the first Sunday of every month gives us the space to really reflect on the month gone and the month to come. This is important to me, as I am a very reflective person but now have less time in my life for it. So, I always know that I will have that space at least once a month with someone I can trust absolutely and completely with my heart and soul. 

What is most incredible about our monthly Grace & Gratitude practice is that we are forever finding what we need in these moments within each other. I have learnt to live more dynamically, dancing with grace, accepting the opportunities that present themselves even if they take up my time, which is second nature to Easkey. And she has learnt to stop, breathe in gratitude during the pauses that present themselves in her busy life instead of filling them which is very me. I realise more and more we bring out the best in each other and have become a great support for each other where there never seemed to be enough time and space to do so before.

You immediately inspired me to have a ‘slow morning’ – get my body moving with some gentle, nourishing stretches and movements (from Dad’s routine!), make French press coffee and sit on the deck in the morning sun thinking nothing at all. Spying some wild blueberries on a nearby bush and foraging for my breakfast… Hope you get in the sea. I walked barefoot today too. — Easkey, October 2014

By continuing to practice Grace & Gratitude we have realise that there are these themes in our lives that we struggle with. For me it is time and for my big sister it is space. By having grace and gratitude practices, and creating this time and space for each other, we have learnt to harmonise better with these themes. Working with them instead of fighting them.

Life Pie

Some of my favourite G&G practices:

Creative/body moments: I take little moments out of my workday to doodle on my doodle wall or to do some stretches on my yoga mat (usually with my cat, Fin, joining in). Taking that moment to be graceful in a little bit of play and give some gratitude to my body.

100 happy days: This was a challenge I decided to do when I first started my business in January this year, taking a picture of something that made me happy or grateful that day. It has made me far more aware of all the small things I am grateful for in my day to day that got overlooked before Grace & Gratitude. I spot these things all the time now.

It is so important for me to continue to have this in my life. Every month it grows and I want to incorporate more active practices which Easkey is very good at such as the life pie and soul collaging.

Big sis, every practice and every chance we get to reflect makes me more and more grateful to have you as my sister! 

Big hugs,
Lil sis
Beckey-Finn

Beckey-Finn Britton is a filmmaker and longboarder from the North West coast of Ireland. She hails from the Britton surfing family in Donegal where life evolves around the sea. She works as a Creative digital Media Consultant at her own business, Bexter Productions, and has recently started working with coastal environmental organisation, Clean Coasts, as their digital media and community engagement officer.

Easkey Britton is an internationally renowned professional surfer, artist, scientist and explorer from Ireland, with a PhD in Environment and Society. Her parents taught her to surf when she was four years old and her life has revolved around surfing ever since. She is co-founder of the non-profit Waves of Freedom which uses the power of surfing as a creative medium for social change.

Less is more, imperfect is perfect, and done is done: 17 tips, tricks & habits I use for writing, creation + business-building (or any creative pursuit).

Posted on by Sarah K Peck

IMG_2443

What’s better than perfect? Done is better than perfect.

Part of the beauty of writing, asking, and making projects is actually doing them. The best way out of something is often through it. Getting it done is where the art is. Seth Godin says “ship.” I say “do.” It means the same thing. Make it happen. Get it done.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you create the perfect product, the perfect essay, or the best story in the world; what matters is whether or not you have the nerve to ask and to create.

Sometimes you need to execute more and think less.

Rather than listen to all the voices that say you can’t do it, or why you’ll fail, take a step out and get started. Moving through something (physically, through action) is the best anecdote to stress, fear, and worry. At least this is what I’ve learned so far.

“What’s better than perfect? Done is better than perfect.”  (Tweet this)

Last Friday we wrapped the third week of my private Writer’s Workshop, a small group of writers that signed up on a 3-week journey and exploration in creative writing, narrative formation, storytelling, and persuasion. The class, a 15-module intensive, took us through a whirlwind a writing exercises and outlines frameworks and ideas around storytelling, understanding who you are, and the art (and difficulty) of creating a writing practice. (Side note: I’m so proud of them!!)

Often, as I work with clients and writers and with myself, I find a common middle section of any creative project or endeavor that’s fuzzy, mucky, uncomfortable, and scary. When we start any new practice–any art, any craft, anything that takes time and dedication and involves a bundle of newness–it’s terrifying. It’s that moment when the demons and creatures and critters tumble out of your neatly stacked closets, giggle and jump on your bed, and start a dance party that rattles you enough to make you think that starting was a bad idea.

But all those thoughts, all those jumbles, all that cranky and temperamental and strange stuff that pours out just when you were getting started–that is the good stuff.  That’s what you’re made of. That’s where the weird, wonderful, and zany comes from. It’s right at the beginning and when we get started that e need to set down the judgments and trade them for observations, noting only that we have this smattering of extremely strange and uncomfortable critters setting up a band show across our normally-made bed (Hah! You really think I make my bed? Right. Onwards).

One of my favorite lessons from the three-week class is my lesson on my personal writing and creation mantras: a bundle of tips, tricks, and habits that I keep posted up on my walls and in various locations as reminders and mantras towards my better self.

When I feel like crawling under the bed into the safety of the darkness and I think that the critters inside my mind will break everything in my house just by being them, I look at one of these mantras, breathe in a little bit, and remind myself to keep going.

I can survive a little hair-pulling. I can survive crayons all over the floor. I can survive the messiness. I can survive a massive dance party instigated by imaginary creatures in my mind. I can survive the Wild Things. I CAN SURVIVE THE MESSINESS! Because truly, the messiness is me. And in the exercise, I ask each person to create a list of mantras of their own (or to adopt whichever ones seem to fit from below).

What are your writing mantras? What are your creation mantras? How do you create your best self, and your best work? Here’s my list, to start you off.

17 Tips, Tricks & Habits I Use for Writing, Creation, Building and Motivation (Or Any Other Creative Pursuit).

In whatever your journey, the journey is about you.

Each person has a different dream, and your dream is the one that’s important in this journey (not anyone else’s). Your dream may be to write a book, to author a hundred books, or maybe to write a single essay. Perhaps your calling is to learn how to craft love letters to the important person in your life, or the important person who will be in your life after you write the story of how they get there. Writing might be a tool in your arsenal of visioning and dreaming, or it might be a process of self-discovery. Just like Gretchen Rubin writes “Be Gretchen,” so do I have sticky note on my wall that says: “Be Sarah.” Be you. Only you can be you.

In turn, the more I am me, the more me I become. Writing has been immensely useful in developing my relationship with myself, and seeing who I am and how I’ve grown. The better facility I gain with words, the better I get at processing, feeling, and learning from emotions.

The only system you need is the one that works.

I set up two key writing days for myself, with two optional mornings to write. I make these days priorities where writing is key; on the other days, writing is optional but always a possibility if I make time for it. If I find myself not writing or publishing as much, it’s a key to me to adjust the system—maybe I need to dial back the emphasis on other parts of my life and find another morning or night to dedicate an hour or two to writing. (Tweet this!)

The only system you need is the system that works

Habits are important frameworks.

Every writer I know talks about the importance of ritual and habit—whether it’s a morning pattern or a daily habit. For me, I have a few loose frameworks that guide me towards my larger goals—I try to publish once weekly, at minimum, and I try to write at least three days per week. Some weeks I write every day (I love writing, and I’ve been in the habit for a few years so I’m long familiar with this); and other times I only write once a week or so. When I find myself writing less, there’s inevitably a day or a two that month that the ideas start to come pouring out because I haven’t given them time to breathe.

My weekly structure gives me two mornings and two evenings to focus on writing; while I can break these rules and patterns occasionally (there are always conference calls to China that pop up), I try to keep at least 2 or 3 of the times for myself so that I can write.

Within a given month, I try to make sure at least one weekend is “clean”—in that it doesn’t have travel, events, or anything else scheduled on at least one (if not both) of the days. Often I actually have to go in and preemptively schedule the day out for writing so I don’t muck it all up with too many appointments. I’ll set a date with myself at one of my favorite coffee shops and plan to go, write, and eat for 4-5 hours that day and focus on writing and writing alone.

It takes longer than you think.

Writing is about philosophy, about articulation and detailing ideas and getting clarity around a concept or an idea. The harder the concept or the more challenging the story, the longer it will take you to work through it. It can take me several hours just to piece together a single story framework. If I have less than an hour, I usually can’t get to a depth or a place that I want to get and I become quite frustrated. I try to block out at least an hour, if not two hours, for my morning and evening sessions. Lately I’ve found myself losing track of time – I’ll come home around 7:30 or 8 pm, start writing on a Friday evening, and I’ll look up and the clock will read 12 or 1 AM and I’ve got to put the pen (or computer) down and head to bed so I can make it through the day reasonably the next day.

Deadlines are critical.

I have weekly goals (I call them frameworks) and monthly goals that serve as a baseline for what I want to make in the world. Some months I can’t possibly achieve it, and that’s fine—I try to strike a balance between pushing myself and enjoying myself during the process. If I’m going absolutely nuts and feeling overwhelmed, scared, and exhausted, then that’s not any good. My goal isn’t to make myself miserable! But if I go for more than a month or two without maintaining my baseline and I don’t notice things changing, I step in and re-evaluate what I’m working on and see if there is something I can say no to so that I can make space for more of my writing.

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” – Leonard Bernstein  (Tweet this)

It’s okay to take breaks.

I took an entire quarter off from writing my blog last year by taking a week off of work and writing 8 posts and spacing them out over a couple of months–all so that I could take some much-needed time to rest and rejuvenate my soul. I tend to work on projects in “seasons,” and define goals within each season—and there’s often at least one rest season (read: Winter) during each year so that I can restore myself and think about what to build next. Sometimes during a Spring or Summer season, I’ll focus more on one aspect of a project (like launching a writer’s workshop, or swimming a bunch), and I’ll dial back on my other responsibilities and goals so I can make it happen.

Set parameters and end dates.

Always set end dates. Give yourself permission to finish something. As you think about the next phase of your writing practice, consider what your goals might be. I highly recommend starting with a small framework (of perhaps 3-4 essays) and building a series around one particular topic, and finishing it. It’s imperative to finish a project and have something to point to. Most people don’t need to start an indefinite blog to create work in the world.

I’ve created many small projects based on sub-topics (as an example, I wrote a 20-essay blog strictly on my experience of the environment in San Francisco with details of the fog, homeless, and urban lifestyle; I started the project knowing that I wanted to spend a summer ‘collecting observations’ about the city I loved, and that the project would wrap by the end of the summer). The writing was fun to do, I got to tell stories in a way that was different than I’d been doing before, and I now have a collection of essays that I can use as writing samples, that I can pull from in future stories, and that I could eventually turn into a bigger project if I felt the itch to do that. (As I’m always saying: get started and do something, and learn from it!)

If it’s too big to do, make it smaller.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by an aspect of your project, get way smaller. Just do a tiny bit of it. We work in fragments of time that add up, slowly. Today is just a day. Carve an hour, do a small bit.

“If it’s too big to do, make it smaller.”  (Tweet this)

The BEST way to reduce stress is to do work on the project, not avoid it.

Want to feel better? Get started. That’s it. That’s my secret. Everything is part of a larger conversation. You’re just starting with a piece of it, and giving that nuance.

Read well. If you can’t read well, you can’t write well.

Get rid of the trash. Unsubscribe from blogs and news that aren’t helpful. Unfollow people that don’t fill your feed with good stuff. Fill your brain. Push it. Challenge it. The most important thing you can do to be a better writer is read. I recently listed a years’ worth of my favorite books, and I’m already embedded in at least half a dozen new novels, historical accounts, and business books this month alone. Immersing yourself in good quality writing is the best teacher. Seek out people who push you and challenge you and feel free to say no to the rest.

There is no good writing, there is only good re-writing.

When I work with new writers, I often tell them to expect the first page to be “full of shit, with a few gems hidden in there somewhere.” It takes time, patience, and a whole bunch of red-lines to work with words on a page. It also takes the courage to put words down on paper without initial judgment or concern. Just do it, and let yourself write. Don’t let your judgment of yourself preclude you from starting in the first place. Trust that it can continue to get better with editing, time, and practice.

The goal is not complex words and simple ideas, but simple words and complex ideas.

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. Writing does not need to be complicated, pretentious, confusing, or full of jargon. To me, writing is a process for building understanding for yourself, and others. For myself, I often copy notes, explore ideas, and re-work words on a page just to tango with an idea until it makes sense in my mind. If I can’t explain it to people, then I’m not well-versed enough in the concept. Writing is a tool for communication (externally) as well as understanding (internally). Often, much of my writing is just about my words, rants, ideas, and explorations–before any of it gets shared with anyone else.

Let your voice develop.

Every writer has a different personality and voice, and learning what yours is takes time and practice. I’m often influenced by my favorite writers—leaning more towards a New York Times persona when I spend a Sunday reading the opinion pages, and oscillating back towards a bossy voice when I spend too much time listening to lectures. In between all of this input, I need to carve out time to develop my own voice and persona; this is a craft that takes many iterations. Start practicing!

What you take out is just as important as what you leave in.

Getting to a clear, simple essay or point is not straightforward. Often, I have to write 5-6 pages just to get to a distillation of one great paragraph. It’s part of the process.

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Capture your ideas however you can.

I love keeping a notebook and jotting down my ideas. Inspiration can show up during your routine, and it can show up at any time. I keep a pocket recorder on my phone and I talk stories to myself while walking through the city or driving in a car (why is it that driving triggers so many new ideas!?). I keep the recordings as well as my digital notes and I send them to myself via email to a folder called “notes.” When I get back to my computer, if I don’t have any ideas that are pressing, I go back through and read my short notes and scratching from the recordings, notes, and my notebooks, and find something that catches my attention. Then I begin with that.

Take the time to build your space and your project.

The world needs to hear what you have to say. “The world” might just be your son, daughter, or significant other, but they still need to hear it. An audience of a handful of people is still an audience. (For more on this, read my thoughts on building your voice on the internet and why I think you should join in). It’s time. Say what needs to be said.

Know what you want and what you value.

This is an easy phrase to say and can take years of work. Learn what’s important to you. Get to know yourself. Write because it teaches you, not just because you have something to say. Write because it will make you a better person, and write because it helps us become more of ourselves.

Done is done.

Sign it. Seal it. Deliver it. A dream unfinished is not reality. It’s your job to create it. Make it happen. Done is done, nothing else.

“DONE is done. Nothing else.”  (Tweet this)

What about you? What creates your best self and your best work?

In the comments below, let me know: what are your writing mantras? What are your creation mantras? How do you create your best self, and your best work? 
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