life – Sarah K Peck

Saying vs. Doing

Posted on May 3, 2015May 3, 2015 by Sarah K Peck

Wisdom is nothing more profound than an ability to follow your own advice.
— Sam Harris.

I struggle with writing essays that sound too much like advice, because I know inevitably as soon as I tell you the ten tricks for getting into bed early, I’ll suffer bouts of insomnia, wake up at odd hours, and suffer from erratic sleep patterns myself.

Knowing what to do and doing it are two separate things entirely.

Having knowledge and possessing wisdom are different: knowledge is knowing what to do; wisdom is being able to do it.

Most months I struggle just to put one practice into play. In March, it was staying in a consistent meditation practice. I completed ten meditation sessions of my thirty days, and that was enough.

In April, I focused on exercise again. I exercised four times per week, and meditation, my previously diligent practice, slipped quickly to the wayside; I completed three sessions in the entire month of April.

So it is.

The only thing I know how to do is to keep working on myself. I am the best place to apply what I know, and my ongoing experiments are the best teacher. I listen and learn from others, without taking their outside messages too seriously. We are all our own best teachers.

It is easy for me to know what to do. It would be easy for me to tell you what to do, as though that were the thing you needed most to make change.

What is hard is doing what we know we want to do.

With love,

Sarah

You don’t have to do it alone. [an epic resource + event + spiritual program guide.] All my favorite programs for you, right now.

Posted on July 31, 2014July 31, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Many of us want similar things in life. Freedom. Love. Money. Safety. Security. Happiness.

Depending on where you are in Maslow’s theoretical hierarchy of needs, your next immediate problem might either be finding a meal to satiate your hunger—or it might be reaching out to new meetup groups to make more friends.

It might be heading out on date after date with OKCupid (true confessions: I spent two years going on first dates until I was so sick of first dates I finally gave up. Then I met this nerd on the internet.)

The good news is that whether the goal is to make more money, to discover your heart center, or to become a better writer—there are GREAT programs and guides out there to make it easier.

You don’t have to do it all alone. The internet is filled with hundreds of resources to help you save time, make money, and come alive in your own life.

I’ve compiled a list of my favorite projects and programs into a brand-new resources page on my site. These are programs + resources that I love — and if you’re in need of support in your business life, spiritual life, or writer’s life, there are so many options for you to check out to support you in your adventures, explorations, and growth. Check ’em out, below.

(Also, if you’re a New York or SF resident, I also have a few free share codes for Breather, Handybook, and Plateddown at the bottom). And lastly, if you’re looking for a good book recommendation, hop over to my book list.

Otherwise, read on! The epic resource + event + spiritual program guide begins here:

resources :: to change your life

Satya Columbo — The Fire of Love Experience. A journey of spirit, flow, and practical magic for rebel souls. A monthly membership program focused on awakening the fire of your soul and adopting practices of centering into your core strength in order to support you in living the life of your highest calling. I’m delighted to be a featured speaker in the program this time around — and the deadline to join is August 1.

Seeing with new eyes — with Tara Mohr. Tara’s got a new book coming out, Playing Big, that I can’t wait to dive into — but she also has a few programs and words on her site that continue to speak to me. This short + sweet 15-day program focuses on “changing how we see and experience the lives we have, so that we experience more joy and contentment and vitality — without changing a thing on the outside.” Perfect for a life-refresh or when you want to press the re-set button on your tired mental schemas.

The Desire Map. “The permission slip you’ve been waiting for.” — a guide to creating goals with soul, and a renewed look at what we desire—and why that’s the key to understanding how to get what we want. A beautiful program by the ultimate Fire Starter herself, Danielle LaPorte.

Listen to your instincts. What feels like the next right move?

The Fire Starter Sessions. Speaking of starting fires —this guide to creating success on your own terms, The Fire Starter Sessions reframes popular self-help and success concepts to cut through dull thinking and fear. Another fabulous find to dig into (and come back to over and over again) by Danielle LaPorte.

Wild Soul Movement with Liz Dialto. I have been blown away by the audacity and bravery of this woman. She keeps carving out her programs, processes and wisdom into further distillations of beauty, and this recent emergent program is knocking my socks off. Move. Nourish. Expand. I feel like she took the words right out of my mouth. Here’s hoping she opens up a Fall Session.

The Empire Building Kit: How to build your own business in 365 days (and become an emperor, obviously). Includes one action-item to take each day to help you fight overwhelm and make progress—featuring simplified steps, smart tactics, and 15 bonus case studies of real entrepreneurs who made it work. From Chris Guillebeau and the Unconventional Guides series, this program gets you going.

resources :: to share your voice

Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. A book is always more than just a book. Much more. Writing a book could direct the course of your career for the rest of your life. It could lead to infinitely important connections, multiple revenue streams, spin off products, international relations. It could send more business your way. It could pay for a trip to Tahiti or just pay the rent. It could change one person’s life for the better. It could start a revolution. You need a plan. Danielle LaPorte and Linda Silverstein team up to create this book-making magical resource to guide you through the process of creating your own master plan. A digital program for people who want to get their word into the world — where it belongs.

How to Connect With Anyone, by Scott Dinsmore and Live Your Legend — The deepest gem of this online resource is the community that lives behind-the-scenes once you join the program. Looking to connect to your right people, and learn how to make it happen? Scott’s resource explains why people are the key to your next business, program, or personal endeavor. Connecting with the right people means everything.

Make Money Freelance Writing. Another gem from the Unconventional Guides suite of resources, The Unconventional Guide to Freelance Writing is packed full of practical tools to help you grow your work from wherever you’re at— whether you’re a budding night-writer aspiring to land your first gig or an established wordsmith wanting to build their client base. Building a financially rewarding writing career or simply selling your words for supplemental income is possible, and the time to get started is today. You will write. You will be paid. You will be published.

Write Your Damn Book, by Paul Jarvis — this self-guided (and free!) email program that Paul Jarvis developed and I love it — it’s super-short, with 13 actionable lessons and fewer than 5,000 words to get you from wanting to writing. I love the work Paul puts out in the world, and this one is a great self guided program!

Of course, The Writer’s Workshop — now available as a self-guided program! This past summer, we put the finishing details on the Writer’s Workshop, and it’s now available as a self-guided program where you can access the lessons, lectures, audio + video recordings on your own schedule.

Accessing your inner soul is the most important work you can do. Writing is one way in.

resources :: to get smarter money-wise

Get Rich Slowly: The Master Your Money Toolkit. From the mastermind behind the blog Get Rich Slowly comes J.D. Roth’s latest project: a money-makeover toolbox designed to help people leave debt behind, master their money, and achieve financial independence. Featuring a “Money Mondays,” email series, 18 audio interviews with money experts, and a comprehensive “Be Your Own CFO” guidebook, this course collects wisdom from financial gurus Ramit Sethi, Pam Slim, Adam Baker, and more.

Designed to Sell. Ever wonder what it takes to shape an idea into a best-selling business or product? This project is designed specifically for artists, designers, crafters, and anyone with a dream of making something to sell. This collection goes behind-the-scenes to show you how to create, design, and launch your project—and how to make it sell.

experiences :: live events, conferences, and retreats

REtreat

Replenishing your soul and restoring your faith in community are not indulgences. They are necessities.

Yoga retreat getaway August 8—10: If you’re in the NYC area, join some of my favorite yoga teachers, Aaron Angel, Keely Angel, and James Fideler for a 3-day weekend retreat full of music, movement, yoga, and delicious food.

I’m teaching yoga! Saturday Yoga classes this August at ABHAYA in Brooklyn — if you’re looking for a community class to join, I’m teaching some of my first classes at the gorgeous Abhaya Studio this August on select Saturday mornings! Join in on one of my community classes or pop in at one of the other time slots (and let me know if you’re coming by so I can say hi).

Speak Like A Pro virtual conference with Jenny Blake and En*theos. A free virtual conference held August 25—29, Jenny will be holding 25 compelling conversations with authors, TED speakers and the world’s leading experts on influence and behavior change.

The Freedom Immersion with Kate and Mike WATTS! Check out this fantabulous newly married couple and dig in for a weekend of freedom October 3rd through 5th — in money, life, and business. Head up to Maine for a private weekend with Kate and Mike and a deep-dive into your business. It’s a mastermind with giggles, gorgeous views, and two fabulous souls. Yes, please.

October 11th — hold the date — Hannah Marcotti and I are making something special happen up in her Loft. It’s happening. Rumor is true! Details are coming later this month. So far this is what we’ve got:

Screen Shot 2014-07-31 at 6.30.26 PM

In her skin: a workshop about pleasure & the rise of your sexual self — Join Hannah again at the Loft in November as she and Mara Glatzel host a two-day event focused on conversation, visioning, and truth-telling. A weekend dedicated to your sensuality, your pleasure, and “stoking your internal fire to cultivate the language of your intentions and awakenings.”

daily pleasures :: breathing space + other coupons

Last but not least, if you want to try any of the following deals, I’ve tried ’em and love them:

Curious to try out Breather in NYC? I’ve got a special code that gives friends one free hour (click here to try it out).
Want to learn how to cook? Plated has been lovely, and I believe my referral code gets folks 2 free plates. They send you dinner ingredients in a box, with a recipe, and you cook it up. So far, I’ve made Shakshuka, Grilled Halibut and a delicious Frisee salad — it’s been awesome!
My Handybook discount gets you $25 off your first cleaning — and yes, I get $25 back, too. Enjoy the discount code SARAH6801 and pass it on!

Got something awesome that people should know about it?

Have a favorite book, tool, resource, or community group that this community would dig? Share it in the comments!

Also: curating these resources, book lists, and program reviews has taken me hundreds of hours of my time. Some of the links here are affiliate links—meaning that I can get paid if you end up buying something from my recommendation. I never share things I don’t personally love, and if you want, you can always search for the product independently from my recommendations. If you do buy from my link, warm internet hugs to you because it means that I can keep doing the dorky things I do and make more of my work in the world.

Here’s to connecting your bright self to the right community + program to build your work in the world.

Creating your own weekly review: Robert Cooper on finding ways to be exceptional.

Posted on April 15, 2014April 15, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Living up to your potential sounds pretty fancy. It’s something we all want, right? Live up to your potential. Maximize your potential. Be all that you can be.

But how, exactly, do you do it? How does an intangible life objective become manifest into your daily routine? For Robert Cooper, author of The Other 90%: How to unlock your vast untapped potential for leadership and life, accessing our own hidden intelligence and achieving our potential lies in better understanding neuroscience and trusting our brains in order to unlock our full capacity.

What did you do last week?

What did you do last week? What did you do yesterday?

A friend of mine was chatting with me recently, and he confessed that he’d get to the end of his day and he would forget what it was that he had done during the day. He’d look at his to-do list and realize, “Oh, right—I did some account desk settings, some client help, answered emails, built my next list…”—but when prompted with a question, he couldn’t remember. Nothing stood out.

Our brains are designed to help keep us safe and warm—comfortable and secure. Cooper describes how this part of our brain works:

“A powerful part of the brain, the amygdala, wants the world to run on routine, not change. Located within the limbic system, an ancient area of the mind that deals with the way you perceive and respond to the world, the amygdala relentlessly urges us to favor the familiar and routine. It craves control and safety, which at times can be vital.”

The amygdala serves as the center of our brain to keep us safe and secure. When deciding between doing something new and something familiar, we’ll be steered to the familiar. This is helpful in many ways—but in terms of growing beyond your comfort zone, not so much.

“The amygdala’s instincts, which have evolved over thousands of years, tend to spill over into every aspect of life and promote a perpetual reluctance to embrace anything that involves risk, change, or growth.”

And here’s the kicker:

[tweetable hashtag=”—Robert Cooper via @sarahkpeck”]”Unless you choose to consciously override this brain tendency, you’re consigned to repeating the past.”[/tweetable]

After understanding how our brains operate to keep us safe, he devised a simple mechanism to “overcome our natural resistance to growth.” By regularly asking two questions—whether it’s by taping them to our bathroom mirror; scheduling a meeting with ourselves weekly, or having a journaling practice—we can begin to override the amygdala’s tendency to keep us safe and secure.

He recommends asking yourself two questions:

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What did you do last week that was exceptional?[/tweetable]

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What can you do next week that no one expects of you?[/tweetable]

Defining exceptional:

Exceptional might be loving more; it might a tender moment. It might be resting more, or doing less. What is exceptional for you—taking your child to school and holding his hand and listening to his stories—might be different for the next person.

For me, this week, I’ll follow up with my clients and prospects and touch base with people just to let them know I’m thinking of. This week, I’ll plan a brand-new webinar and teach myself a new software program to run more online classes. And this week, I’ll do week 6 of The Artist’s Way, a project still in fruition for me. Those are the exceptions to my week. Those are the pieces that are somehow difficult for me, and that will make this week above and beyond last week.

Breaking down ‘exceptional’ into weekly increments—noticing what’s different from one week to the next; understanding how a little bit more, or a little bit different this week can be the work that matters—is both tangible and do-able, and keeps you on track.

That way, when fifty-two weeks add up to a year as they always seem to do, you can look back and think, wow. That year was great.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]What will you do this week that’s exceptional?[/tweetable]

How do you combat loneliness? A brand new talk at ALIVE in Berlin + an epic scholarship opportunity worth $400.

Posted on April 2, 2014April 2, 2014 by Sarah K Peck

Loneliness by Deviant Art

How do you deal with loneliness?

The problem with my first job wasn’t the job itself—it was how few people I knew at the company. In most structures throughout my life—family, school, college, sports—we bonded as teammates and community members because of shared goals, ideas, and dreams. Yet at work, I barely had friends. Perhaps it was the age disparity; the fact that people started quietly only a few days per year, or because we didn’t have a common lunch area. Being busy chasing financial goals didn’t help, either. At the end of my first year, I found myself tired, alone, and unsure of what I was contributing as an entry-level employee.

I made a vow to change a few things. I joined two sports groups—a morning swim team and a triathlon training group. I signed up for my first yoga community practice. And I started going to events. I found meet-up groups, lectures and workshops, and conferences to attend. In one year, I met more than 500 new people—many of whom are now, ten years later, some of my closest friends.

What is loneliness? Where does it come from?

What is loneliness? Where does it come from, and why do we experience it? How can we combat it—and better yet: why is it useful?

For the past year, I’ve been researching loneliness, community and the power of connectivity, and I’ll be debuting a new keynote at ALIVE in Berlin this May looking at the structures that create loneliness, why community and connectivity are so important, and what we can do to help reconnect both to ourselves and to other people. As a bonus, I’ll also be teaching a workshop on the power of connection—and tips on how to connect with other people through understanding the physical body (your posture and stance); through your story (and what you say); and by being open and asking questions.

One of the most important ways I’ve met new people and found my tribes is through attending and joining conferences that gather like-minded people together. From WDS (Portland) to Big Omaha (Nebraska) to The Feast (New York + Global) and TED (Global), each time I’ve taken the jitters of traveling alone, taken a deep breath, and tried to meet kind faces and reach out and extend my ties to the world by meeting more of the humans we share space with.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]The strength of your life comes from the people you surround yourself with.[/tweetable]

What does a woman who lives with hens and roosters on a farm out in the middle of England decide to do after building a thriving virtual and in-person coaching practice? Start a conference, of course.

Jana Circle
I met Jana Schuberth at the first World Domination Summit (one of my favorite conferences—you can check out the yearly recaps as a testament to the experience). We both wandered through Portland, Jana with bare feet, me in my yoga clothes—and chatted about nutrition, exercise, paleo diets, motivation, and personal development. She’d made the trek over to the States from Loughborough, England, and our late night chats meant it was an instant kinship—we still chat by Skype as often as we can schedule it across projects and time zones.

I had a chance to sit down with Jana and interview her about her story, how she writes, and the challenges of blogging. As she says, “I’m probably a bit crazy to be doing this all, but I looked around and I really wanted the WDS experience here in Europe.” She describes chatting with a mentor about wanting someone to build similar conferences in Europe and her home country, Germany; to which her mentor replied:

“If you really want something like this, you’re going to have to be the one to build it.”

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]“It’s your job to build what you want to see in the world.”[/tweetable]

With a bit of excitement and nerves, she realized—Yes, that’s it. Somehow, we’re going to throw a conference next year. Alive in Berlin was born.

Alive in Berlin Banners—1

Alive in Berlin: A global conference for change-makers

I have a soft spot in my heart for do-ers and makers; and this conference aims to collect them in one space. If you’re curious about the conference, check out Alive in Berlin (and read the end of this post for an incredible scholarship opportunity to the conference).

Some things to know: The conference is in Berlin. Registration fees are £349.00. Dates are May 30-31. It will be gorgeous Springtime in the epic city of Berlin (I’m staying a few extra days to explore the city—I’ve heard the street art is phenomenal and the late night dance parties epic, in addition to exploring the cities’ rich and vibrant history).

From the ALIVE team:

“Alive in Berlin is not just about getting a temporary hit of inspiration, it’s about making deep connections and coming away with a solid plan of action. Rather than leaving with your head in the clouds, overwhelmed with information and ideas and ultimately coming back down to earth with a bump, we want you to feel confident, re-energised and ready to wholeheartedly step all areas of your life up to the next level over the long-term.”

“The two-day event will include 8 brilliant expert speakers from a wide range of disciplines, space throughout the weekend for relaxed conversation and interaction, daily Q&A sessions where you can interact directly with many of our speakers and coaches, and opportunities to get active and involved for those who want to. There will also be a chill room and coffee corner to relax, reflect and take time out if you need to!”

Together we’ll explore the common threads that connect us and make us come alive.

And the EPIC April Giveaway: One scholarship space to ALIVE in Berlin—all the details (and a short application)!

Want in?

The thing about conferences is, they often cost a couple of bucks. I know—one year I went to 24 different events—from Big Omaha to The Feast to WDS to Startup Weekend Los Angeles. I was averaging a conference or event every other weekend—and I was exhausted. And it was the bulk of my eating and entertainment budget for the year (let’s just say I ate a lot of granola bars and hardboiled eggs).

But I wouldn’t change that year for the world.

The thing about conferences is, they’re also one of the best places to meet new people. People in your tribe, people who speak your language, people who have what you want, people who want what you have to offer. Sometimes it’s a late-night chat and a fitness conversation; sometimes it’s a life-long friend, sometimes it’s the right designer for your project or a place to crash the next time you travel to that new city.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]Finding your tribe—people who understand you—is life-changing.[/tweetable] As adults, there aren’t as many opportunities to mix up the sandbox and say hello to knew folks. To meet new friends. When you have the same job, the same commute, and the same screen every day, our opportunities for adult summer camp and friendship quickly dwindle. Conferences are places to let you come out of your current storyline and try a new route for your own adventure.

As a bonus—because I’m a speaker at the event—I have one scholarship ticket to ALIVE in Berlin to gift to a lucky reader in this community.

If you’re itching to go to Berlin, to shake up your life, or find a new community, one lucky winner will get to win ONE ticket to the conference.

How do you win? Here’s what you’ve gotta do:

First, leave a comment down below! Tell us a conference story: what have conferences done for you? Where do you find and meet new people? What’s been the best event for you so far?
Second, share this post. Heart it, tweet it, post it, write about it. Simple. Click to tweet: [tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin]Epic April Giveaway: One scholarship space to ALIVE in Berlin![/tweetable]
Third, apply for the scholarship with this application form.

Winner will be picked on Friday, April 11, 2014. Turn in your application by Thursday, April 10, 2014. You have one week to enter—good luck!

The scholarship is for £249 off the ticket price. The scholarship ticket will be £70 (to cover basic event fees + registration fees) towards the ticket price. If selected, you will have one week to purchase the ticket.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck @aliveinberlin”]Bravery is encouraged. Authenticity rewarded.[/tweetable] Tell us, what makes you come ALIVE?

To listen to the full interview with Jana Schuberth and Sarah Peck, listen here:

Words to Fill Your Mind: The Power of a Mantra

Posted on March 20, 2014January 5, 2016 by Sarah K Peck

The words that fill our minds…

We all have words that we cycle on repeat in our minds—from worries about being late to songs we sing or words we repeat. Don’t be late, don’t be late, don’t be late, we repeat to ourselves as we rush from subway to office to meeting to appointment. Gotta finish, gotta finish, gotta finish—it builds across our mind like a chant, a pull to keep us focused long enough to finish the day or the project.

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]”What we think, we become.” —Buddha[/tweetable]

What is a mantra?

A mantra is a basic sound used in meditation and chanting, and more simply, in our daily lives. At its root, a mantra means “mind tool.” The root man– means mind; tra- means protection or instrument. Anodea Judith, in The Wheels of Life, describes a mantra as “a tool for protecting our minds from the traps of nonproductive cycles of thought and action.” She writes:

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]“Mantras serve as focusing devices for making the mind one-pointed and calm.”—Judith[/tweetable]

Have you ever heard a young kid gleefully say the same thing over and over again? “This is so COOL!” They exclaim, only to repeat the same thing again a few minutes later, and again a few minutes later. Our minds hold words and ideas captive, guiding our thoughts with simple patterns that we often repeat on cycle. Sometimes it’s negative:

Dumb, dumb, dumb. That was dumb. Why did you do that?

And sometimes it’s positive:

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Nailed that! Whooo! Yes. Awesome. Awesome, awesome.

And sometimes we get a peaceful song noted in our minds—a song that sticks, webbed words woven into our invisible frameworks.

Oh what a beautiful morning… Oh what a beautiful day…

Try it yourself:

A beautiful way to start your day is with a small mantra. Try a notecard taped to the side of your bed, a post-it on the inside of your wallet, or a scribbling on your daily diary. One of the reasons I write so many notes and doodle all over instagram is to remind myself and repeat words as I imprint them into my being.

What phrases would you love to embed in your mind? What new mind patterns and habits would be soothing or helpful? Perhaps during times of stress, “This too shall pass;” or “This is just but a moment.” These short phrases are powerful tools to build into your inner mind strength. Sometimes I like to hum to myself, “zoom in, zoom out,”—the vibration of the z buzzing against my lips, the mmmm a buzz deeper in my ribs and belly. (Try it: humming is delightful).

[tweetable hashtag=”@sarahkpeck”]”Zoom in, zoom out. It’s nothing in the macroscrope, it’s nothing in the microscope.”[/tweetable]

The vibrations of actual sound — joyful noises, as I like to call them — do more than just warm up our vocal chords. They are a means of expression, and they help to settle our mid-bodies.

How do you use language to protect your mind? Do you chant, sing, or hum each day? Do you have a phrase you love to hold on to?

What words are you telling yourself? Listen in.

Your job is to create.

Posted on December 13, 2013December 13, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

Your job is to create something in this world. With your human hands, your brain, your vision, your dreams, your desires.

Make something.

Make something with your mind, with your hands, with your heart.

Put ingredients together and craft a batch of bread. Fold paper origami cranes. Make ideas come to life through words and speech. Build a bench. Take a painting class, a wood shop class, a soap-making class, an engineering class. Plant a flower bed. Grow herbs by your kitchen sink. Fix a squeaky wheel with WD-40. Paint a door.

You are the experiencer of the world, and it feeds you and fills you with rich materials for processing, making, and considering. You get to respond by putting your touch on the things and words and ideas you make in the world. You get to make your version of your thoughts with the matter and substance of the world.

Use your voice. Use your mind. Use your hands.

Create.

Creating is magic.

Your job is to create.

(Pssst! If you want to create beauty and magic with your words, and spend time learning more about storytelling, writing + dreaming up beautiful ideas, join us as we begin round #3 of our Writer’s Workshop. The four-week journey begins January 13th.)

What’s in the trunk? A mysterious tunnel inside the house… and some of the things I’m so grateful for.

Posted on November 27, 2013November 27, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

What’s in the trunk?

My dad just moved to Colorado and I’m here for the week, visiting for the first time. The cold, snowy mountains outside of Denver are filled with deer, elk, and other creatures that wander up to the backyard and say hello. (There’s also a new dog in the family that’s a giant 1-year old puppy. I really mean giant. But I digress).

As they were showing me the house, we stopped and took a look at this trunk standing up against a wall in one of the bedrooms. My stepmom cracked up when she showed it to me–“Guess what’s in it!?”

When you open in up, the trunk is completely empty. So… what goes inside?

It turns out when you look at the bottom there’s just a hole in the floor. Or rather, it’s a verified secret chamber that they added to the house.

What the heck?

When they moved in, in addition to knocking walls and windows down and building new counters and cabinets (she’s an interior designer; she can’t help it)–she knocked a hole in the floor to create a laundry chute. When they lift the trunk lid, they drop laundry down to the room below. Rather than leave an unsightly hole, she put this trunk over the top of it.

But that’s not the best part: take a look at what’s stenciled across the entire outside of the trunk.

On the outside, she wrote all of the things she was thankful for. (You’ll see my name on there!) Every time she does laundry, she gets to use a small piece of furniture that reminds her just how much she has to be thankful for.

How cool is that?

It’s that time of year: what are you thankful for?

Gratitude is a practice and can take hundreds of different forms. You’re probably inundated with thoughts of kindness–and that’s one of the reasons this is one of my favorite times of the year. From the breath we take to closing our eyes and appreciating the simple gift of being alive–there is so much to be grateful for. We can practice gratitude in our appreciation of the small things, by adding little rituals into our lives, and by reaching out and telling someone that you’re thankful for them. (You can learn several of these inspiring tools in our upcoming Grace + Gratitude workshop, beginning December 1).

Through these little acts, we can literally reprogram our brains. Over time, they have a huge effect.

I am thankful.

I am thankful for courage, of which the latin root (cor–) doesn’t mean bravery, but rather it comes from the latin word for heart. As Brene Brown writes, courage originally meant “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Courage is the act of gratitude: of speaking your heart, and letting your voice be heard.

I am grateful for my imperfections, and the grace to be able to acknowledge them each time I goof up. I am grateful for mistakes, because they mean that we’re living and moving.

I am grateful for time, and for the present. For this delicious moment. For the wonder of being here at all. (It’s really crazy if you start to think about it.)

I am grateful for experience, because it is the best teacher, even if it’s mighty uncomfortable.

I am grateful for the internet, for connecting online, for meeting so many friends who can see me more fully through my writing than I’m sometimes able to explain in person.

I am grateful for my family, a rambunctious and boisterous bunch who likes to sit on top of each other, no matter how big the house. We’ll just pile on top of each other like a football stack, dogs and cats and kids and blankets and everything.

Every day, I’m thankful for the gift of life and for living. I am thankful for breathing, which is made particularly poignant when I’ve experienced losing my breath.

I am thankful for swimming, dancing, moving, and singing.

I’m thankful for my hands, because hands are so weird and wonderful and downright cool in their digits and bends and abilities to do what we command them to do so tirelessly.

I am grateful to teach and I am thankful for all of the studying I get to be a part of in order to become a better teacher.

I am grateful for you, reading this, building a community online, being a part of this space. I cherish you and I hear from so many of you. Through you, I’ve learned how important writing is, and how telling stories—my job in this world, in this time—is for showing various ways of thinking and being and becoming and doing. For that, I’m truly humbled and grateful.

There’s so much I’m thankful for this season.

What are you thankful for this season?

And if you have a gratitude post, link it up in the comments and I’ll read it this holiday–I love reading about what you’re doing!

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Looking for a place of love and kindness? Join our upcoming Grace & Gratitude micro-workshop, a two-week journey to cultivate grace and gratitude in your life. Two weeks of daily stories and exercises designed to bring light, love, and joy into your life–one photograph, project, and quote at a time. Sign up here (or give as a gift this holiday). We begin December 1.

The masks we wear–how we hide who we are.

Posted on November 24, 2013November 25, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

We all wear masks from time to time: in our words, our habits, and our practices. We have an arsenal of crutches and shortcuts that slowly but surely hide who we are. They are things that prop us up and help us hide. We hide from our feelings and our desires. We hide from who we might become.

We drink coffee as a mask for how tired we are, or to replace what is really a lack of motivation for a certain project we’re involved in.

It masks how tired you are of caring for a newborn infant, or how miserable your boss’s cutting remarks make you.

The alcohol that you drink at night masks the fear and the stress feel from not having control during your day. Perhaps it helps to cover up the loneliness of your cubicle or help you get through another night.

We project false smiles of protection to hide our fears, to be desirable. We wear high heels and new clothes and carry certain bags and advertisements to show a sense of self, a projection, an idea. We use extroversion to be well liked. We chase busy to mask our fear of not leaving an impact.

We cover a lot of things up. Scars we carry, stories we hold, work we’re afraid of doing.

Our selves, deep inside.

It’s not always bad to have a mask…

It’s not terrible to have masks, but they can’t be our only way of dealing with the world. If we spend the entire time warding off the world and hiding from ourselves, we’ll miss the best parts. By hiding from the world, we hide ourselves, and we lose a piece of our souls.

Many of us have lost touch with ourselves, our souls, with the tender, tired, scared part of itself.

Here’s the catch…

Releasing a mask requires feeling. It requires having a real, honest, scary, less-than-desirable feeling. Letting go of your mask means you might need to say,

By golly, I’m tired.

And no, I don’t want to do this.

Or, I’m scared. I’m scared of messing up. I’m scared of doing a bad job. I’m worried that I won’t be liked. I’m worried that I might try and I won’t be good at it.

Letting the barrier down requires Guts. Honesty. Softness.

Looking at the impulse before we rush to snatch a cover, and breathing in recognition:

Your feelings are clues.

These feelings inside? They aren’t enemies. They are clues. Feelings are way points in an uncertain world, direction markers that guide us back into the brilliance of ourselves, if we’ll allow it. The trouble is it can be uncomfortable and downright painful. Feelings you haven’t had in years might surface to remind you of areas of internal work you still have to do.

And your masks were protection, once.

The masks aren’t all bad. Sometimes pulling down the mask and showing your face requires gentleness and slowness. Your mask might have served you at some point. A therapist in my yoga training reminded me that these coping mechanisms shouldn’t always be disarmed quickly. Children of abuse who learned how to harden and deaden their senses built masks in order to survive those times. These mechanisms and masks were useful–they helped you survive. They got you here. They protected. Unlocking them too quickly without new ways of being can also be damaging.

But at some point, perhaps you might notice you’re still wearing one.

What masks are you wearing?

What masks do you carry?

What do you hide?

Can you lower it for a bit?

With love,

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Are you minimalist enough? An experiment in giving up clothes for a year.

Posted on November 4, 2013October 28, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

Leaning houses San Francisco

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post on Joshua Becker’s Becoming Minimalist site about giving up clothes for a year–and my experiments with minimalism, living with less, and what felt like too much pressure to whittle down my life to a certain number of items. Here’s how the experiment played out:

Minimalist enough? Giving up (new) clothes for a year.

“We live in a world of scarcity. Which means we feel like we never have enough.” – Brené Brown

Living in a world of scarcity means that we’re constantly searching for the next thing to fill us up, the next destination or achievement to make us whole. Our world is filled with messages that tell us we don’t have enough space, enough stuff, enough clothes, enough fitness. We’re never skinny enough or pretty enough or good enough or rich enough.

This scarcity model drives consumption and accumulation; it spurs us to want more, to buy things because we think it will fill the void. We press to work harder, to get fitter, to buy more clothes, to acquire more things in the name of filling the hole.

The problem with scarcity, however, is that you can’t fill it or fix it with things.

The answer to scarcity, ironically, isn’t more. It is enough.

What you have is enough. Who you are is enough. As Danielle LaPorte says in her Fire Starter Sessions: “You already have everything you need.”

What about Minimalist Enough?

This cuts both ways, however. As a person with lots of things, and an apartment with hundreds of books, I sometimes feel like my efforts to de-clutter and reduce the number of things that surround me aren’t enough. In my efforts to reduce clutter and consider minimalist–or simplicity–as a strategy, I begin to doubt my efforts in being minimalist. And the thought begins to creep in: I’m not minimalist enough. I see someone who is minimalist and only has 100 things and the internal voice begins again, “I guess I’m not minimalist… enough.”

These attitudes are pervasive and can race around in my head. I can quickly become overwhelmed with the desire to eliminate stuff, lose weight, be better, do more, achieve….more.

But the idea of minimalism isn’t about reaching a goal, or checking off a box, or reaching a certain destination. To me, minimalism is realizing that what I already have is enough, and that adding clutter to the pile won’t make it any better. And chasing a dream of more minimalism is, ironically, not what I’m after either.

To me, as I breathe out and sigh into the life that I’m living, and find gentler ways to tweak, edit, and refine; I find that recognizing what is important and what is not is the most critical exercise.

Stripping away the excess lets us get to the bones of what really matters. Get to the heart space. Get to the pieces that are important. And that level can be different for different people.

For me, minimalism is about having exactly what you need–and the things you love–without having stuff and clutter that overwhelms your life. It’s filling up your time and space with love, not excess.

My Modest Minimalist Journey.

I spent 2011 conducting an experiment in which I decided to stop buying new clothes for the entire year. (There were two exceptions: shoes and underwear, but only as needed). For an entire year, I lived without buying anything new, on purpose. As a female in a clothes-and-image-centric society, I wanted to see what it was like to live without shopping for a while.

I was always dismayed by the number of female friends that were readily going into debt to maintain their image in public. When I thought about it, $400 outfits (the average price on any feature shopping magazine page) can add up to a lot of money if one were to wear a new outfit every day for a year. (Think about it: $400 a day for clothes is $150,000 a year just on clothes—who are we kidding?). You might think I’m joking—but to be perfectly honest, I know people who are $20,000 and $30,000 in credit card debt from clothes shopping alone. The image pressures on females (and males!) can be increasingly intense. As someone with immense graduate school debt to overcome setting off into my twenties, the thought of doubling that debt felt paralyzing. I wanted freedom, not debt.

Yet over the year, as I experimented in my journey of wearing and re-wearing the same outfits hundreds of times, I also found there were times when I got discouraged—especially when I looked around online and saw things like the Versalette by revolution apparel. I inadvertently compared myself to other people who were doing a better job at buying nothing than I was.

But then I realized: I don’t have to be the best or the most minimalist. I can be minimalist enough. Minimalism isn’t about winning, and it isn’t about a particular achievement. It’s about finding out what matters to you, and getting rid of the peripheral.

Over the course of the year, I thinned out my closet and pared down to a few favorite items. I made over twenty trips to charity with bags of clothes and gently worn shoes that I no longer needed. At one point, I had socks and underwear with holes in them, and I got out my sewing machine and fixed them up. Making old things new again was surprisingly satisfying. Getting rid of all of my extra socks—and just having a few pairs to use each day—actually made my life simpler. The process of getting rid of things reminded me of what I liked and what mattered.

Over time, I started to become acutely aware of everything that crossed the physical threshold of my front door. The amount of stuff that piled up around me on a daily basis crept into my consciousness, and I’m still surprised by the amount of clutter we let into our lives each day. Every time I brought something new in—mail, letters, books, ideas, shopping bags—I tried to make a conscious effort that the stuff I was bringing with me was valuable, and that I was also taking enough stuff out of the apartment each day to keep my space maintainable.

Untethering from the need to consume was surprisingly easy. It was the attitude change that made the most difference: looking through my things and realizing I already had enough—that I didn’t have to rush out and buy something new to fill a hole or a need—let me breathe again. It was relaxing and reassuring to know what I had was okay. What you are is already good enough.

I learned, slowly, that having excess stuff was giving me a headache, wasting my time and energy, and wasting a lot of money I wanted to focus on eliminating debt.

Even though the experiment is over, I still carry several of the themes into my current shopping habits: I buy new things that are disgusting to buy used (exercise clothes, underwear, socks, and shoes are typically new purchases); and I buy things new that are very difficult to find used (long-enough pants and long-enough jackets are two of my indulgences); but my favorite place to shop is at a thrift store with a bag of donations in hand–I’ll exchange three old things for a few new things. The smaller my closet, ironically, the happier I have been.

Over time, I will continue to whittle away at the things I don’t need in order to make space for the things I love. It turns out, all those unnecessary clothes were crowding out the space of the things I loved. I got rid of several boxes and cleared off a space for all of my books—one of my loves. Clearing out, to me, is about reducing the unnecessary clutter in your life to make space for what matters, and finding a balance that lets your soul breathe. It’s about stripping away the things you don’t need so you can focus on what’s important.

Sometimes a subtle attitude shift or a small sacrifice can make a big difference. Like taking the time to appreciate that what you already have is enough. And your effort? It’s enough.

Because stuff isn’t what matters.

What you have is enough. YOU are enough.

To read more about minimalism and check out one of my favorite blogs, see Joshua Becker’s site, Becoming Minimalist.

The power of breath: why breathing happens before anything else.

Posted on October 31, 2013October 28, 2013 by Sarah K Peck

06_San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge in Fog

It’s not always easy to breathe.

Breathing—the intake of oxygen and the exhalation of carbon dioxide—is life’s essential force. It’s the first step our physical bodies take towards making all other actions possible, including thinking.

In swimming, the rhythm of breathing is essential: you only have a few opportunities to catch a breath; it’s about timing your intake with your arms, kicks, and rotation. Without air, you can’t work the water.

Breath happens before anything.

Out in the open water, in the waves of the ocean, with the salt water sprays and the swells that take over, sometimes I turn my face upwards and a wave slams me in the face. I close my mouth, pass by that opportunity, hold the air in my lungs, and try again on the next cycle. Sometimes it takes a few turns before I get to suck in some oxygen.

My relationship with breathing has always been tenuous: when I was eleven, I was diagnosed with asthma. I learned my lungs were restricting my airways—and it would jump on me like a sudden cold, onset in minutes, causing breathing to be painful.

I would hide my inhalers, because I didn’t want something that gave me a crutch or a reason that I couldn’t be as good as anyone else. I learned how to push my back open against a floor, to rub my lungs to clear them, and how to hold my breath to stop my body from panicking.

I also learned how to hold my breath for a really long time. Getting into the pool every day gave me an intimate familiarity with the ways my lungs worked.

Swimming actually taught me how to breathe again.

Today, three years later, I’ve become an open water swimmer, chasing longer distances with each ocean adventure I find. I will routinely be late to work or leave for long lunch hours just to spend those hours in the ocean, my friend, the place where my soul is restored.

I need to touch the water, to splash, and to feel the curve of a wave beneath my hands. I’ll grab a board, and float out to sea, heart and head against the board, listening and feeling the rhythm beneath my body. My breathing will inadvertently sync up with the ocean swells, and the anxiety of my digital, corporate life gets left ashore. I’ll get up early, earlier than the sun, wander down to the ocean, and get into the water just to tune my body back into the rhythm of the earth.

But I had to learn how.

Your breath: check in with yourself:

First, right now, as you’re sitting at the computer or staring at your screen to read this post: what does your breath pattern look like? Do you notice it? Are you breathing? Some people stop breathing while they are reading, and they raise their shoulders and hold tension in their bodies while at the computer. (A telltale sign is if you let out periodic sighs. Listen to others if you’re in a room, or set an audio-recorder on yourself for an hour. You’ll forget about it and can then listen to the breath sounds play back. It’s fascinating.)

Next, find a space to lie on the floor. Take a deep breath. Take ten slow breaths, with your eyes closed. Push the air all the way in and out of your lungs. Where are the bottoms of your lungs? Where are the tops of them? Can you fill the space entirely?

Practice changing the cadence of your breathing. Take 10 very quick micro-breaths. Feel your rib cage move in and out. Feel your heart race, your pulse jump, feel the reaction.

Breathe again, slowly.

Your breath is the foundation on top of which every other activity takes place. You can train it, just like you can train everything else. Change your body rhythms by controlling your breath.

Breathe.

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I originally wrote this post for Julien Smith’s Homework series during the epic campaign to swim naked from Alcatraz to San Francisco. Breathe is powerful, so I’m reposting as part of this November series while I’m away in Bali.