Routine

Every night, after a day’s worth of pumping milk for my baby, my husband takes the pump from my hands and washes it out in the sink with the special brush.

He shakes it dry, clean, ready for the next day. He says it’s one of the ways he can help with this job that is so much mine. It’s our routine. I pump, he cleans it up. We tuck into bed.

Every morning, after I drop the baby at daycare, I exercise. First things first. I take care of my body. Leo and I walk down the sidewalks by the park and we buzz into the daycare center. I smile and wave at him and he babbles at the daycare ladies. Morning, baby, daycare, exercise.

It’s the routine.

On the weekends, we try to make a stew in the Fall on Sundays. Leo is currently napping, I’m in flannel, writing, and Alex is in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for a fall stew. We got one creuset deep pot at our wedding as a gift from one of Alex’s mentors, and the blue pot has been filled with stews and soups and creamy vegetables more times than we can count. We fill the pot with a stew and eat out of it as the week goes by. It feeds us and it fuels us.

We enjoy the variation and we sink into the routine.

A routine is a sequence of actions, regularly followed. It can be a routine that you follow in a dance (like a tap routine), or a series of steps you perform as part of a program. It’s often done on the regular, rather than as a special occasion.

“He settled down into his routine of writing and work.” 

“She got into the daily routine of exercise.” 

The word comes from “route,” or a regular, carved-into-the-earth way of getting there. Roads are carved from steady use and repetition. The road becomes a regular way of being.

We carve out our routines, and then our routines provide space for our craft to expand.

My little one loves having a routine. He’s out of the newborn phase (although still a baby), and thrives when he’s given regular naps and feedings. A day of good naps can be the difference between a smiley, content baby, and my fussy, crying-and-wiggling baby. Both are the same kid, on different routines.

Designed well, a routine lets me get more of what I want. I am as many words as I make space to sit down and write. If I spend all of my time thinking about what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it, I’ve spent my time thinking, not doing. The routine lets me forget the path and get into the substance.

A routine is a way of being. How do you show up in the world? What are the patterns of your life, of your work, of your being?

More than an intention for a day, or a desire for the week, is the importance of setting up good habits. A routine is the invisible structure that lets us dig into what we want to do. Rather than rely on motivation or inspiration — we can settle into the gold that is habit formation.
This Fall, I’ve been craving routine more than anything.

Putting on and choosing (or not choosing) your clothing is a routine. In our household, we’re eliminating most of our clothing (my husband and I share a closet together — one closet, and we each have half of a dresser). We stick to a few basic outfits to stay simple. Why? Because we want to choose ideas and creativity in our work over thinking about year’s worth of clothing choices.

I exercise at the same time every day as part of a routine.

A pattern for the day, a pattern for the work, a system of organization, a structure that provides clarity — and freedom. A cadre, or a frame, can be more freeing than the idea of unlimited freedom.

By creating a routine, I can expand.

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What’s your routine? What are your habits and ways of being? This post is part of the Monthly Writing Prompts — check out October’s theme, here.
Get monthly writing prompts in your inbox by signing up for the newsletter, here.

October Monthly Writing Group: Routine

Last week I posed a question in a few writing groups I’m in: would a monthly writing theme be helpful to you as a writer?

Do you want to write about a topic, a subject, or an idea together?

The answer was a resounding yes.

A monthly framework to write: join me for a new theme, each month.

So, let’s write together each month around a topic or a theme. Each month, I’ll put forward a topic for consideration with a call to write.

What’s in a monthly writing prompt?

  1. Read below to find out this month’s theme.
  2. Take the theme, explore it, and anytime this month (October 2016) write a poem, essay, or reflection of your choosing. You can take photos, post on Instagram, share on Twitter, or publish an essay.
  3. Leave a link to your work in the comments on this post. Share it using the hashtag #MoWriting (it’s short for “More Writing” and “Monthly Writing.”)

We can all read through the posts (check the links in the comments!) and get to know more of each other’s work and writing.

October’s writing theme: routines

Welcome to October, a time for introspection, reflection, and turning inwards.

Keeping in line with the idea of a monthly theme (which is itself a pattern and a routine), the first theme is all about Routine.

  • What does it mean to have a routine?
  • What does your routine look like?
  • What is routine, and what is not?
  • Does having a routine help you? When does having a routine not help you?
  • What are the routines in your relationships, your partnerships
  • What is your routine in your work?
  • Where do you want more, or less, structure and habit?

I find myself craving more routine as I take off on my next business adventure (yes, it’s happening already.) I’m drawing and detailing and designing in notebooks. I’m creating structures for expansion, creating places for community.

Why I’m creating this

Writing together has always held me accountable and let me dive deeper. Rather than flitting from one idea to the next, I want a way to dive deeper into a subject and explore it through multiple posts, as well as hear ideas from other authors, writers, and creators I admire. Using monthly themes and habits has been a successful tool in my own practice.

I’m borrowing these ideas from two organizations I admire greatly: Thousand Network has monthly themes for the Thousand Women’s Circle that I’m a part of, and Holstee’s Mindful Matter blog explores monthly themes, which I adore and have written for. So I will add to the room and create a monthly theme here on this website, for anyone who wants to join.

Going deeper with community

One of my desires is to find a way to bring more people together in community. Writing a blog alone is not enough; I want my business and my practice to bring creative people together. When we work together in creative ecosystems, collaborate on work (even if the work is first done solo), and find people to be in community with, our work grows richer and stronger.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a chance to see what happens with community through our writing groups, the Grace and Gratitude workshop, and in the private mastermind that kicked off a few weeks ago. (If you want to learn more about the next round of the Mastermind and put in an application for consideration, sign up here). Each time I admire how much you grow, especially as you learn from each other. If I can design things that bring people together — in community and around ideas — I’m content.

By finding and sharing your writing with each other — and by letting you discover each other through the comments and hashtags — I hope that you’ll all get to meet more of each other. I get to meet so many amazing people through writing on this blog, and I’m searching for ways to bring this community closer together over the coming years.

The prompts are free and the love is abundant!

So, go write about your routines, push publish on your essays and images, and leave a comment below with a link to your piece.

50 Things That Make Me Happy

In the free series of writing prompts I put together, one of the prompts is to make a list of 50 things that make you happy. I love lists (they’re one of the things that makes me happy!), and I love using lists as a way to kick-start my writing.

It’s not writing, it’s making a list!

Writing lists appeals so much to my desire for organization, neatness, structure, and order.

Today’s prompt is to make a list of things that make you feel good. If you’d like, scratch out your own list, or enjoy perusing my list, below.

1. When the sky fades from baby blue to yellow in one stunning moment, just before the sky dips into brilliant indigo and deepens to darkness. The hint of a highlight of the last moment of sun over the rooftops, indicating the near-closing of a day.

2. The immensity of oceans, water, and the seaside. Sitting by the sound of swelling waves lapping up at your toes. Where the sky meets the waves meet you.

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3. Swimming, being in water, being immersed in water, being hugged by water.

4. Showers, the tickle of rainfall shower heads, the drizzle of an open-air shower on a hot summer day, opening your mouth to capture part of the rain, closing your eyes, dreaming up the best ideas inside a steady trickle of wet noise.

5. Baths. Luxurious, delicious baths. Bath houses. Steam rooms and cold baths and warm baths and Japanese bath houses and Russian-Turkish baths. The community aspect of bath houses in the winter. The solo aspect of rejuvenating your body.

6. Beaches.Sand in your toes. Sand just warm enough to melt you in it, but not too hot to burn your toes. Playing volleyball in the sand.

7. Forests. Canopies of leaves, overhead roofs, green for days. Multiple colors of green, a rainbow of greens, bright and neon to dark and seductive.

8. Hidden trails and hiking adventures. Leaves, trees, and paths beckoning you to follow them. Wandering in the woods on a mindful adventure.

9. Camping. Spending time outdoors. Un-plugging. Doing things more slowly. Cooking food. Stinking up like campfire smoke.

10. Cabins. Wooden cabins, small cabins, cabins with shared kitchens.

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11. Retreats and adventures with close groups of friends. Sharing a home, a meal, a weekend with people you choose to call family.

12. Shared silence. Conversational silence. Understanding the beauty of a pause as rich as the words just spoken beforehand.

13. Parallel play. Being in the same room as someone and not having your attention commanded by the ego or insecurity of the person across from you. Dwelling in collective, simultaneous absorption in a project or task and relishing in the depth of self-thought.

14. Learning how to sing. Music, of all forms. Wiggling your hips to shake off the day.

15. Afghans and blankets! Particularly tossed up over my head and cuddling me up.

16. Cuddles. Hugs and snuggles and couch cuddles. Pile-ups with family and getting 5 people in a bed just for hugs. Promoting hug parties instead of standing and gabbing when I get tired of extroverted party antics.

17. Really, really good conversations. Conversations that unfold over a period of days, exploring an idea, returning to it, delving into it, pausing, becoming something again.

18. The perfect chair to sit in.

19. Reading good books: books that sweep you up and away inside of their ideas or adventures.

20. Exploring new places as a way of staying present with yourself.

21. Sleep that feels just right and wakes you up feeling refreshed.

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22. Fractal patterns and other patterns in nature. Wondering in the beauty of existing forms, creations, and beings. Sinking into the awe of it all.

23. A black hardcover moleskin.

24. Pens! Pilot pens, V5 thickness. Black ink. Plus back-up roller-ball pens for airplanes, because sadly these favorite pens can explode on airplanes.

25. Cards, notepaper, stationary, letters. A box of unwritten cards beckoning to be written. An enveloped of letters stashed away in my backpack. Writing letters to friends as often as daily.

26. Text messages with friends for no reason.

27. Laughing at inside jokes. Being unable to stop laughing. Uncontrollable giggles. Things that make you giggle with their memory, hours and days later.

28. Monthly friend dates with people far away, people all over the world.

29. Someone who sends the perfect Google calendar invitation, knows their way around online organization tools, and is as geeky as you are about email, scheduling, and notifications. You breathe out. They get it. YES.

30. Making friends on the internet without ever moving past the social connection. Just knowing that you know each other are there. Having that be a joy in itself, and enough, for right now.

31. Writing. Writing in my journal, writing 750 words, writing a blog post, writing an email. Writing out my feelings, my ideas, my worries, my anxieties. Even writing in the middle of the night, when I have to — I still love it.

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32.Writing lists!

33. The perfect soup-plate bowl. One plate-bowl to rule them all.

34. Family. Sisters. Brothers. Cousins.

35. Alex’s cuddles, his smile, his hands, his kind spirit. Talking to Alex when I’m having a rough day and knowing he’ll let me cry and he’ll rub my back.

36. Bicycles. Summertime air. Being outdoors.

37. Bourbon or a really delicious cocktail from Three Sisters in Brooklyn. (I’m longing for one — sometime, soon enough, we’ll have another one.)

38. Cooking potluck dinners for friends. Stews made in one large Creuset pot, soaking up flavors all day.

39. The view from up above — aerial views from a plane.

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40. Thanksgiving. Gratitude. Christmas with the family.

41. Snow Fall. Winter boots.

42. All of my Ecco shoes (they are the BEST). A good brand that treats you well. Excellent customer service.

43. The sound of rain when you’re inside.

44. Blossoms bursting open on an early day of Spring. The first signs of winter shaking off it’s cool slumber into the explosive greenery that is Spring. The fierce trumpeting of birds, flowers, and forests in a vibrant sense of newness and noise.

45. Volleyball games outside. Soccer games. Pick-up soccer! The Brooklyn Bridge Waterfront park. Ultimate frisbee. Running in cleats. Bicycling home. Breathing hard.

46. Yoga. Breathwork. Connecting to your self, your mind, your spirit, your body. Union. Refreshing realizations.

47. Meditation. Easy music to put you into a peaceful resting. Finding a place of stillness in your seat and relishing in it. A warm cup of tea and gazing out the window. Letting the thoughts untangle, tumble out. Slowing down. Breathing.

48. Lofts and unexpected nooks and crannies inside of houses.

49. Urban patterns. Architecture. Understanding that everything outside is built, made-up, born of someone’s imagination and patterning. Space, time, movement, and human behavior. Small cities and big bustling metropolis’. Rural farms and tiny cabins.

50. Being connected to each other.