Writing

Open Moments and Forgetting About Time

The more I have to do, the more stuff I have, the more I feel anxious about time. I check the clock, the analog clock I keep to plan things, I mark up my calendars, and I rush-rush-RUSH to get things done.

Letting go means things go slower, differently. Doing Less means being okay with open spaces and unplanned moments in life.

Time happens at different paces.

Not worrying to the clock so much means I actually listen to my internal clock.

A few nights back I got tired early – really early – and I went to bed before 9pm. I actually yawned while sitting in my chair reading, thought about going to bed, and looked through my glasses at the clock.7:51pm. I laughed. I can’t go to bed at 7:51pm! Then I looked at my list of things I wanted to get done that day – nothing much, except for a silly to-do list that I promptly ignored in my practice of “saying no” to more things.

I CAN go to bed at 7:51pm. I started the rituals: turned the heat up for a half hour, brushed my teeth, cleaned up the dishes, and cozied up into my bed. I ended up reading for a bit and jotting a few notes down in my notebook as more essay and blog ideas jumped to mind – but I was out like a light before 9 PM.

Delicious.

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The opposite is true, too.

Over the holidays I was caught in a whirlwind pace of writing – I had 4 tabs open in my browser and I was scribbling thoughts down – and then I took a break to look through Reverb10’s prompts.

Awww shit, I thought, I should catch up on those. And the “word” prompt struck me again. I was STUCK. Stuck for a word, for a thought. It felt heavy, like I was getting behind on another list of things to do. Can I really catch up on all of these Reverb prompts? The voice of reason tried to tell me to procrastinate. But I sighed, opened up a new browser window, and started composing.

A word? What word could possibly describe 2010?

I looked in the rearview mirror a little more – let’s see, what happened in 2010?

And then I was writing, writing as fast as I could, just letting words tumble out and not judging myself or stopping to edit. I just wrote. (And the one word response has been the highest hit blog post on this blog, ever.  Go figure.)

And then I looked up at the clock. 2AM.

What?

Not a yawn, not a peep, not an ounce of tiredness. And this was two days BEFORE my exciting night of the 8 PM bedtime. I still had more in me. I wrote another post, and then another, set the publishing times for 5AM and the following two days and hit the bed. It took a while to sleep – I had lots more to scribble in my notebook – and then I was out like a light.

Waking up the next morning was refreshing. Well, maybe not refreshing – more like a dazed stupor around 10AM and I stumbled around a bit before I felt like I was honestly awake.  I had given up coffee for a month, so waking up felt a bit difficult.

And then I remembered the writing marathon the previous night – it made me smile. I felt like I had written some good stuff, and I was excited to go back and proof some of it a little more and check the piece I’d published out in the print-like feeling that is a posted blog entry.

I opened my email, my twitter, and a few other accounts. And my email inbox started blowing up.

So, thank you.

So many people reached out, commented, shared, and laughed with me. Writing has taught me that moments like this – the connection across the internet, to people all around the world, to friends that come out of the woodwork to share stories with me – are not to be taken lightly.

Readers and blog followers and every single subscriber – even the ones who never email me or leave a comment – Thank you. I am constantly amazed by the people who come here, to read my words, to listen to the random stories and scribblings and thoughts. I had an overwhelming number of emails in my inbox from people sharing their own stories and being grateful for my post – I couldn’t have even expected it. Who knew that my writing would reach out to so many people?

And, thank you for Less. For coming with me on this journey. If I’ve learned anything, it’s to make space for the things that matter. For me, that means making time and space for writing and for reflecting. And for things like sleep, open space to dream, time to read, and possibly allowing yourself to stay up late in marathon sessions of productivity. :) Sometimes it means making space for slowing down. Other times, it mean making time for the things that matter – your goals, your dreams, and your ambitions. Make space for things to happen.

Making space and making time for things that matter is vital.

Dear Car, It’s Complicated. Love, Me. (I Think I Have an Emotional Attachment)



Dear Car,

I guess it’s time we said good bye.

This is harder than I thought it would be. I kind of like you.

Scuff Scuff. I kick my feet in the dirt.

I mean, we were pretty good friends, right? You’ve been with me for 20,000 miles – I don’t even want to think about that in terms of a time relationship, but *does some quick math* – that means that each month, we’ve spent between 3 and 4 days together. ENTIRE DAYS. Without SLEEPING. Like, I could have not paid RENT for 3 days and just slept in your backseat because that’s how much time we spent together.

I took you to Seattle and I slept in the back with you, looking up at the stars. We drove through Portland and up to Mt. St Helen and by Shasta and through Corvalis. I’ve seen a lot of friends because of you. I’ve also traveled a lot of places – places I probably should have just taken the bus, but instead, I popped down to the curb, found you waiting for me in your cute little parking spot, hopped in, and zoomed off.

You’ve been with me to LA and back, twice, even though one time I got in and drove just to drive because I didn’t know what else to do.

I get worried about you when we spend too many days apart. I don’t want anyone bumping into you, or scratching you, or breaking into you. If I leave you at work for too long, I sometimes want to go over their just to check on you.

You are one really, really, really big accessory. A 5,000 pound accessory that I like to take with me everywhere.

Unfortunately we had that nasty bump with the BMW – remember that CEO (sorry can’t name the company here)?  – Hah, that was not one of our finer moments.  At least he was nice to email with, after the bump. You definitely got my heart racing with that one.

I’m gonna miss my weekly naps with you – I mean, who am I kidding? When I pull those late nights at work and I’m too tired to think straight, you know that I take 45 minute sunshine naps outside in the warmth of the car. I’m like a cat – I’m looking for a little sunshine nap. During the winter, when it’s freezing, I just park in a little sunny spot and let the solar heat warm up the space in the car and I nap, staring out the window at the sunshine and daydreaming about the day when I get to be a freelance writer forever. Sometimes I fall asleep in there. (Good thing I keep my cell phone with me.)

Oh Matrix, it’s complicated.

I like the fact that you’re dark grey. I love the shape of the Matrix – even though my friend says you look fat and squat, I’ll defend you. I think you look cute and little. And I love that you fit into most parking spots but you can also keep my skis and bikes all stored up in the car. Brilliant, eh?

I also think your angry face is funny – most Toyota’s have that angry-looking set of headlights. It cracks. me. up. When I see another Toyota looking back at me at a stop sign or intersection, I usually laugh and giggle and scowl my face in a grimace (at least in my mind, I do), and pretend we’re having a mock-angry fight.

Awww crap, I think I’m getting teary-eyed. Who knew it would be this hard?

The fact is, having a car is awesome. And fun. And exceptionally easy and freeing. I love the seeming independence and autonomy that comes with the car. But the day-to-day ease of using the car doesn’t resonate with the $1051 dollars I fork over every month just to own it. That’s $35 a day just to own the car.

And do I want long-term financial independence or day-to-day location freedom?

Is selling the car getting me closer to the true kind of freedom I want?

I think it’s a balls-to-the-wall kind of decision. If I try to make the decision based on a single day, I’ll rationalize the heck out of selling the car.

‘Cause it turns out I really, really like my car.

Make time and space for what matters.

Make time and space for the things that are the most important to you.

If you don’t know what those are, make time and space for the finding out what things are most important to you.

Making time and space for what matters means you need to know what matters to you.

So: what matters to you?

What are the 10 most important things in your life?

A harder question: what’s the one most important thing to you in your life?

We all have long life lists and goals and aspirations. Change that around a bit. If you could only do ONE thing in your life, what would it be? Why?

And, if you could only achieve one thing today, what would it be?

Are you working on it?
Why not?

Cleaning is Cathartic.

Throw stuff away. Give stuff away. Un-finish things.

The process of reduction is fascinating. In food science, reduction is about simmering basic ingredients together and slowly eliminating water – until you’re left with a rich, thick, wonderful sauce full of the taste and flavor.

In life, reduction is about making the most out of what you have and eliminating everything that you don’t need.

I am stunned by the sheer amount of Stuff I have. Where does it come from? How does it possibly accumulate?

The other day, I went to go running and I reached into my sock drawer to find a sports top. I have at least 6 different sports tops – but my favorite is a black one. I sifted through shirt after shirt looking for the black one, and yet 6 others were staring me in the face. How can I possibly need that many clothes just for sweating in? Let alone tops for work, casual tops, sleeping t-shirts, and heaven forbid I admit how many racing t-shirts I have (I always check “no” on the box for new race entries – inevitably the t-shirt becomes a rag for washing my car or cleaning the house).

Sometimes, we have so much Stuff cluttering up our lives, we can’t even find the things that matter to us. Our lives are hidden by our Stuff. (Here is a funny video on Stuff).

I think the battle of Stuff is a constant battle. I’m always bringing more into my house than what leaves the house, and that’s not a sustainable or healthy way to live. I’d like to be more judicious about what I let into my life and what I actually stop and say “No thanks” to. I’ll be slowly unloading another giant part of my closet (clothes I never even wear) and donating them to Good Will this weekend.

Have you ever noticed how wonderful cleaning something feels? Cleaning, straightening, organizing, reducing? It’s frustrating when things don’t have places and too much Stuff accumulates.

Clean, reduce, eliminate, give away.

Take the time to go through the things you have and give away the things that don’t matter. It’s okay if you start small and just focus on one thing at a time. Sometimes it takes me an entire weekend just to tackle one set of drawers. It’s hard work, getting rid of Stuff.

But the clean surface is amazing. It’s wonderful to feel the blank slate of an empty, fresh desk and a set of tools that are exactly what you need – no more, no less. Just pens, paper, and a desk. (And my computer, for me).

Clean, reduce, eliminate, give away.

Repeat.

Get rid of Stuff. You already have more than you could possibly need.

*** *** ***

Great resources about eliminating, de-cluttering, and living with less:

Living Well on Less
The Frugal Girl
The Minimalists
Life Excursion
Zen Habits


Steph Nelson: Planning, Monterey Bay, and Work-Life-Location Balance

Steph Nelson, a City + Regional Planning graduate from the University of Pennsylvania, School of Design, works with the Association of Monterey Bay Area Governments in Monterey, CA.  Located an hour and a half south of San Francisco, Steph talks about accepting a fabulous job in Transportation and Regional Planning while  balancing work with her other life interests.

“Career Focus” is a series of interviews with young professionals exploring different professions and their journey from academia into the working world. Previous interviews have covered Project Management at BACRSports Medicine, and Web Development and Technology Consulting.

Looking North at Pleasure Poin

(Santa Cruz image from Surfing Cal)

What do you do? What is your title and area of profession?

I am an Associate Planner with the Association of Monterey Bay Area Governments, the Metropolitan Planning Organization and Council of Governments serving Santa Cruz, San Benito and Monterey Counties, just south of the SF Bay Area.

My focus is on land use and transportation planning at the regional level within the context of SB 375. I have a variety of responsibilities including modeling, GIS work and design work as well as quantitative analysis, project management and grant writing. We are a small agency, so I generally have a wide variety of tasks and projects that I’m involved in.

What is your education and background? What was your area of specialty at school, and how did that take shape over the year(s)?

I have master’s degrees in Government & Political Science as well as City & Regional Planning, the latter earned in 2009 at the University of Pennsylvania. I also have experience in political organizing and non-profit project management.

Initially I was interested in transportation planning. The more I learned about trends in the field, however, the more I became interested in the nexus between land use and transportation planning.   In grad school, I also became increasingly interested in urban design. Ultimately, I sought to weave together a land use, transportation and urban design focus in my program.

Did you do any advanced training or graduate work to prepare yourself for this field? If you went to graduate school, how did you make that decision and what was the transition between undergrad and grad. Did you take time off between schooling?

I remember the transition from undergrad to grad as being particularly satisfying. In the words of one of my political science professors, “As undergraduates, instructors assume you don’t know what you are talking about until you prove yourselves. As graduate students, instructors assume you do know what you are talking about.” I loved the transition into a peer relationship with my instructors, many of whom had been my instructors during undergrad.

After graduating from school the first time around, I worked as a political organizer for four years with a particular focus on education policy. During this time I began exploring the field of city planning. However, I was nervous about making a career change – and worried that I would be entering a new field at an entry level all over again. I wondered if my previous professional experience would be taken into consideration.

How did you decide to get into this field? Is there a pivotal moment during school (undergraduate or graduate studies), during an internship, or during a conversation with someone that led you to this area of work?

I don’t think there was a “silver bullet” kind of moment for me. Rather, there were a series of observations I made that both drew me into the field and made me apprehensive. I was apprehensive because, as a political organizer, my values pivoted around socio-economic and racial justice. The field of planning tends to pivot around a different set of values that could be described as more about efficiency of systems, design of the built environment and environmental sustainability.   While these value systems are certainly not mutually exclusive, they are distinct from one another.  However, the more I’ve learned about the field of planning and urban design, the more I realize that it is an excellent fit for my interests, skills and personality, and am thrilled with my career choice.

(Image from Kite Aerial Photography)

In this economy, how has your job search been? What are the hardest or most unexpected aspects to the job-search? Do you have any recommendations to people looking for employment?

I graduated in the Spring of 2009 – definitely an unnerving time to be searching for a job. My approach was to apply broadly with long term goals in mind. I was willing to move to a number of places depending on the job offer. Ideally, I wanted to find the perfect job in the perfect place – a land use, transportation and urban design position in SF.  The offer I took was a land use/transportation/urban design position near SF, and I hit it off with my interviewers, so I accepted the job.

Think about your long term goals but also be willing to make compromises in the short term – as long as you are moving in the direction you want to go in. Gaining experience doing what you want to do, even if it’s not in the place you want to be (the city or the firm) can be a good decision.

Describe your typical daily schedule: what type of activities are you involved in, how many people do you work with, do you travel a lot, how many hours do you put in, are you your own boss, are you reporting to others, who manages your time?

My typical activities may include creating info-graphics for the Blueprint, prepping TransCad model files for a scenario model run, doing some GIS analyses, or working on a project timeline for our Sustainable Communities Strategy.

Our planning staff consists of six people – a Principal Planner, a Senior Transportation Modeler, an Associate Planner and three Planners. We will soon be hiring a GIS Coordinator who will also be a part of our team. We have a couple of other departments as well for a total of 15 or so staff members.

(Image from a recent report by AMBAG)

What are the top 3 things you like or enjoy about your job?

That I get to do both quantitative work and design work, the people I work with, and that I can sit on the beach and eat my lunch.

What are the 3 “lows” of your job – what do you like the least about what you do?

There only two of these, really.

The location, regionally. My personal life roots me in SF, but my office is in Marina (about 2 hours South of SF). I actually live half time in SF and half time in Santa Cruz as a compromise.

Because we have such a new roster of staff (most people at our agency have only been there for several years or less), we are working out some growing pains in terms of roles and responsibilities. As such, we have a pretty fluid work environment which structurally can be challenging to function in at times. It’s a plus in other ways, though, because there are a lot of opportunities to take initiative and work on some exciting projects.

Describe the commute and the amount of time you spend traveling for work (and life):

I drive from my home in SF to my office in Marina on Monday mornings and back on Thursday after work. It’s about an hour and 45 minutes one way.  Monday through Wednesday I commute to my place in Capitola (adjacent to Santa Cruz), which is about a 30 minute drive from my office. Fortunately the drive is gorgeous on both accounts and I can generally get lost in good music along the way.

Let’s talk about transitioning from college to professional work – strategies for success.  When thinking about the transition from Academic/College to Professional/Work life, what took the most getting used to? What strategies did you use to adjust to the differences?

By far, the lack of constant feedback was the most difficult challenge. As a student, everything you produce gets reviewed and graded. That’s what you are paying for–constant attention. As an employee, you may get a review once every 6 months or even once a year. I remember it being very challenging when I first entered the workforce because when I didn’t hear anything from my supervisor I assumed it meant something negative. It required me to become a bit more self-sufficient in evaluating my own work and learning how and when to ask for feedback.

When did you actively begin job searching (while in school or afterwards)? How long did it take to find a job? Did you have a specific direction or area of focus, or did you have a broad search with many possibilities?

I graduated in May of 2009, and began applying in late April shortly before graduation. I was offered and took my current job in June of 2009. I knew to start my job search with a broader approach this time and to not be so quick to dismiss opportunities if they didn’t meet all of my criteria. I figured that I’d rather be working full time moving toward long term goals rather than waiting for the perfect job to come along while not developing my job skills.

How do you define success in the workplace?

Defining success tends to be project specific for me. Most recently, I defined success by the quality of the Blueprint plan I was just working on over the course of the last year and a half.  In terms of modeling or GIS work, if the analytical results provide answers to key questions or help ask even more important questions, I would say that is a success.

For the grants I’ve worked on, success is marked by whether and how much we are awarded. In terms of project management, if we meet deadlines with a quality deliverable, I consider that a success. And if I can tell that my colleagues and superiors respect my work, I take that as a sign of all around success in the work place.


What does “work-life balance” mean to you, and how do you maintain a work-life balance?

I think that having a work-life balance entails a day-to-day and week-to-week balance as well as a “life decision” balance.

For me, I think this means prioritizing relationships over career moves when it makes sense to do so (but never if it will create resentment).

I also have creative pursuits that drive my life decisions. In fact, one of the reasons that city planning was a field of interest to me was that I saw it leading to a career in this region (or the Pacific northwest), which boasts a music scene that I’ve been itching to work my way into.

What kind of music do you do?

Currently I’m playing synth in a new project called Pony Pony Pony! You can find us on facebook or myspace.  Someone described us as Bauhaus with a beat, which I find to be amusing not because of an interest in the band Bauhaus necessarily but because I’ve recently taken a particular interest in the Bauhaus movement.

How does the music scene (and having outside of work interests) make you a better employee?

This is a great question! I wish more people asked this one. Creating music with other people requires me to be able to take creative risks, to put my ideas out there and be willing to hear feedback; to think on the spot and to provide both positive and critical feedback to my band-mates. Also, for a project to be successful, each person has to not only manage their own time and expectations but also communicate expectations to each other and hold each other accountable.

What advice do you have for recent college grads and new employees? Any words of encouragement or advice to offer?

Expect to be surprised by your experiences in the workplace.

30 days Car-FREE: An Experiment

Can I go 30 days without a car?

As part of “Lessons from Less,” and in a follow-up to my question about whether or not I should keep my car, I set out at the end of December to go for 30 days without my car to see if I can wrangle up the nerve to sell it. I’ve parked my car outside of the city, and it’s gone from my being for nearly the entire month of January.

In fact, I may sell it at the end of January. (Thanks for all of the amazing opinions and comments from my first post!)

I am taking a deep breath and trying to re-route my life by living with less and un-burdening myself from some of the financial stress of car ownership.

One step at a time, one bus ride at a time, one book at a time.

Wish me luck. For the first 25 years of my life, I lived car-free (well, with the exception of mom and dad driving me around everywhere). I’ve been a car owner for a year.

Now I’m about to embark into the car-free world again …

Let’s see how it goes.

Finish Something

Finish something.

We spend so much energy starting, thinking, dreaming and creating.

You’ve gone through and un-finished projects that don’t matter. You’ve cleared your closets and space of things, slowly, and you’ve made a little more time for yourself by deliberately doing less.

Today, finish something.

Don’t try to finish everything.

Finish one thing. Just one project. Hopefully it’s the most important project, the thing you’ve been worried about and you haven’t worked on in a while.

Sometimes, there’s beauty in just finishing.

Focus your energy and attention today on one task, on one thing. And finish it.

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Image (top) from The Sweaty Guinea Pig.

New here? Check out the complete series Lessons from Less or check out some of my favorite posts. You can also find me on twitter or stay updated via email.

Un-finish 10 things

Don’t finish everything. There are things that aren’t worth doing.

Delete them.

That half-finished magazine? Recycle it.

The book you’re not that into? Don’t read the rest of it.

The clothes you keep meaning to fix? Don’t fix them – give them away, donate, or get rid of them.

Today, unfinish, throw away, or clean out 10 things. Don’t do them. It’s okay not to. They are cluttering up your mind, your energy, and causing you stress.

This is not procrastination. Don’t save it for later – just don’t do it.  Why? You’ll be fine if you don’t do it. Each object, each task, each item on your list is something that takes up your valuable time and fights for your attention.

Be careful and cautious with your time and attention. Do the things that matter. Don’t do the things that don’t matter.

Un-finish. Not everything started needs to be finished.

(Ahhh… doesn’t that feel good?)

Authors note: I wrote this list the week before I picked up Tim Ferriss’ book, The Four Hour Work Week – I suppose my mind was on the same track at that point!  In the “Elimination” chapter, Part Three, he has the same principle: “practice the art of non-finishing.” I love his quote: “Starting something doesn’t automatically justify finishing it.”  Yes!

It will never be as you expected.

My parents used to (nicely) remind me that life doesn’t always go according to plan.

Be plan-ful, they said, but also be mindful. Be willing to compromise, be open to change, and let yourself be spontaneous from time to time.

I had lists and goals and ideas and was certain of the way the world was. At 8, I was putting together calendars of meal plans for my mom and consolidating them into weekly grocery shopping lists. I organized wallets, cleaned out closets, and knew exactly where I was going to be when. I even had ideas about when I would get married, how many kids I would have, and what I would do after college.

But guess what. Most things don’t go according to plan.

Do you have plans? Ideas for the future? Expectations that you hold in your mind and your heart about what you should be doing or what you ought to be doing? Be gentle with yourself: it’s okay if it doesn’t work out as you expected.

Plans are nothing but loose expectations.  More often than not, things don’t usually end up the way you expect them to.

Look back at what you thought you might be when you were younger.  At 18, 19, or 20, did you really have any idea what you’d be like at 25, 28, 30, 35, or even 40? We have some expectations, but we can’t really plan everything.

For where’s the fun in that?

The joy of life is that it doesn’t go as you expected. If it went as you planned, you’d probably have missed a whole lot.

ReWork (hint, hint, book review coming soon!) captures this idea brilliantly. Stop planning, the authors write. Because a plan is just a guess. A plan is an idea of how things might possibly be. Why don’t you get to work, iterate, and test prototypes instead of spending a whole bunch of time creating a fancy business plan? Test. Iterate. Live. Explore. Experience.

Ah, Experience.

Be open for new experiences. Enjoy the ride. Be.

It will probably be completely different than you expected.